Wednesday, December 30, 2009

New Year, New Style

As we usher in the new year, 2010, some changes should be made on things around us thus, this would explain the new blog template and the url. My blog has been dead for weeks, sometimes months and the amount of my post for each month is as scarce as the amount of raindrops falling in the Sahara desert. This would all change come 2010 as i've got a few reasons why I should update my blog now and then.

I'm going to start my industrial training very soon and perhaps I might need to be ready for action on my first day of work. Honestly, I'm having troubles writing a good article, or a good essay these days. Last semester in college, I sometimes feel like I've lost my creativity in writing. I added no funk or spunk or krunk or whatever it is in the essay/article to make it more interesting, more fun to read. I used to be able to do that( i think) even if its not that good, but i do enjoy writing essays in the past. I'd blogged almost every single day in the past, but now, like i've said before, my blog is like a Sahara Desert and me, a very stingy Rain God.

So, the only way to stop the rot, is to start blogging again. Start writing. Type whatever shit I have in mind. Or get screwed by the editor, or worse, get kicked out and fail my training (thats actually the worst case scenario).

Yea, I'm pretty sure after my little story telling, you know why i changed my URL, right? I'm gonna update this blog ONCE every WEEK. Yeap. One time in seven days! It's a vow I'm going to fulfill. No kidding.

Every Wednesday there will be a new post up about whatever crap that's running through my head, so stay tune if you're interested!Chiaoz for now..I'm running out of ideas.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

My Blog Is Bloody Dead...

...and oh yea, i miss you

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

i need to improve my malay writing skills abit.

Oleh itu, saya menulis blog saya dalam Bahasa Melayu..
Baru-baru ini, saya dapat merasai kekurangan benda dalam hidup saya..
apa yang saya buat, saya salah..
memang sangat resah perkara ini..
memang benar masa dapat memadamkan perasaan ini, akan tetapi..
selepas sekian lama saya perlu menyesuaikan diri dalam keadaan yang menimpa diriku..
sedaya upaya saya cuba mengelakkan perkara ini berlaku..
namun demikian, berlaku juga perkara yang saya paling takut dalam hidup saya..
ya, perubahan dalam hubungan kita..
seperti yang anda cakap dulu, anda mungkin akan berubah..
mungkin inilah masanya..
menyesal perkara itu berlaku?mungkin...mungkin tidak..tetapi saya perlu meluahkannya..
jikalau tidak..hati saya ini tak akan menikmati satu hari yang tenang..
perasan gelisah akan menyelubungi jiwaku dan hatiku tidak akan melalui satu hari tanpa berasa tenang dan aman..
perkara ini mungkin akan menyebabkan perasaanmu dan rindumu mengurang..
apa yang boleh saya lakukan?
oh tuhan..alangkah baiknya kalau saya seorang yang berego..seorang yang boleh mengetepikan semua masalah ini dan fikir untuk diriku sendiri..
akan tetapi, aku tidak menyalahkanmu..saya tidak meminta apa-apa dengan blog ini..saya hanya ingin meluahkan saja perasaan ini yang tiba tiba menimpaku..
mungkin saya sangat mengantuk..
tolong jangan mengambil ini dengan maksud yang salah...
saya amat merindui masa dahulu..masa yang kita bergembira dan juga bergaduh..tetapi perbezaannya, kami dapat menyelesaikannya dengan baik..,dengan ini..saya ingin mendedikasikan lagu ini kepada semua orang yang membaca segment ini..haraplah semua menikmati lagu ini..

jangan peduli wajah penyanyi..dengarlah saja lagu tersebut..
bahasa melayu saya masih perlu lagi diperbaiki..KDK (Ketawa Dengan Kuat)*malay version of LOL*

Saturday, November 21, 2009

All the random shits

This is gonna be a heck load of random shit in this i doubt any of you guys will understand what I'm about to type here. For those who could kudos, for those who can't you're welcome to guess..

Alright, lately ive caught a movie, 2012. To me it was pretty good..i mean i like the plot and stuff like that but one thing that bores me is that the hero never dies. In any normal circumstances, a normal human being would be dead, just watch the movie then you'll know..he can escape burning inferno, drowning, air crash and escape from California to China when the whole world seems to fall apart and not to forget, they always look good doing it..its so cliche..but then again, im not for the sad ending where the hero dies just to save millions of people in the earth....wait, there you go, another cliche.. anyways New Moon's coming out (or is it out?) so it is time to see whether the movie is living up to its hype..

Done with most of the assignments..still got a few more to go..this semester has been a hell of a turbulent work work..oh wells..some the effort is well paid off..however, i do not feel like ive got the rights to claim some credit to it as other team members did more though i contributed some..but i do still feel i did not enough..sigh sigh sigh..

celebrated 2 of my friend's birthday yesterday!again..HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO KAI ZHAI AND RACHEL YONG!!!=D

Liverpool are on one of their worst runs in their history..pffft!enough said..but..i'll never stop supporting you scousers! YNWA!

pretty worried bout my training rejected once by KLUE and im facing another prospect of getting rejected by Malay Mail..they say they're gonna give me an answer by end of the month..well lets just hope that they will give us a positive response..really wanna get out, it is not because Penang is not a good place to live or stay or work or study..just that, after all this unnecesaary shit, i've gotta go off in the big city..its gonna be hard i know..whats not in life?

To me, i prefer problems to be solved and i do not like people to say one thing and they meant it another way..thus if you wanna settle the problems or whatever problems we are going through now, please please be honest and truthful to me..why do you wanna go the big round and in the end, give the benefit to no one?it might even turn out worse..if you think that keeping quiet will solve the problems, think again..dont tell me you wanna avoid it or put it in the past, i know it will maybe be alrite...for short term..long term, we better sit and discuss..the problem is i do not know where the hell i've gone wrong..if you want me to guess i've tried and i dont know..YOU have to tell you want us to keep things from each other?do you wanna go down that road?ive repeated this countless times before and im tired of sure you are the ball is in your court, it is up to you to decide what you cool with it..the past,i wont sit well with this, but now i feel...drained..i'll just go with your flow..

oh ya before i end this segment of random shit..MILEY CYRUS SUCKS!
peace out~lol

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Being apart, it's very hard..

Being apart from someone you care and love is not only hard enough, it's devastating! Know what is more devastating? Your ways to keep connected is limited and even if it is available for me, i.e the internet, it still sucks..because u know why?Malaysia's internet connection sucks. That is why.

I've tried many ways..skyping, chatting online and stuff like that which do not really require money but well it does not really bode well with us..for me is because either the connection is terrible or theres something distracting somewhere..sigh..the best for me is by phone and now, the situation has gone bad..i guess being on the phone just wouldnt cut it anymore..

I should be more considerate and i guess i have to cope with one of my enemies(bloody internet connection) to win a war(the bloody fucking distance) just hoping that the internet line will stay strong when im using it..

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Its time for a change..
i've got a wake up call today..i feel like i sort of disappoint a lecturer today.. i dont like that feeling at all..i dont like the feeling of disappointing someone..maybe it is in my nature to be special or someone that stands out in people's it in terms of work or relationship..

I need a change..i need to concentrate more on people that put hopes on me and not disappoint them like how i did again might not be a big deal for many..but to me, it is sort of a big deal..

i still think im not at fault entirely
if this is your way of showing me that im wrong n that you forgive me,
you're damn wrong if you think i feel grateful for that,
i want you to see my TRUE point,
if you cant, it's just too bad

Saturday, October 3, 2009

do not wanna know do not wanna care..
i feel that i've fallen down the pecking order in your life and im not that important as how i was used to be..though u're still always the most important one to me..
sound like a high school kid?
i guess..dont care.
guess i just have to live with that feeling of being kick out from the top spot..

Monday, September 14, 2009


here is the current update in my life..
Life's a bitch and there is always time when u feel that you are not cared at all..

there u go, my blog is alive talkin bout his darn emotional stuff..
but hey, like i've said life's a bitch..

and now, my blog is going into hibernation mood again..
in another words, dead for another few months or atleast..until this turbulent feeling goes off..

Saturday, May 30, 2009


I wish to apologize to one of my closest friend for leaving out his name in my post recently..
i feel really regretful that i left his name off..
to my defence, i can only say that i was really having a writer's block and after that accident in my college..
i tend to forget things..
so to my really close buddy Teo Mou Jian,who acted as a prostitude to call me on the day before my bday, i appreciate it alot..
it was the most unique way of wishing someone a happy birthday..
which im sure will be a trend someday and if it does..
i will definitely make sure everyone knows who the founder of this idea was..
it was you, one and only..
my beloved..
Teo Mou Jian!


Chapter 30 - 12 Months

12 Months ago..

I hated college..
I have no close friends in college..
I did not have any guy friends in college..
I was a loner in college..
I thought to myself "Why in the world am i here?!"
College sucks..

12 Months ago

Life was boring..
Everything was routine..
Friends were leaving..

12 Months ago

I was alone..
No one have come into my life yet..

12 Months ago

I was 18


Im 19 and am enjoying my life to the fullest!


  • Thanks to The College Gang for the party on the beach!
  • Happy Belated Bday to WeiQi!
  • Thanks to Sin Wah for the cake she baked for me n WeiQi!
  • Thanks to friends who wished me!Thanks~
  • Thanks to Rachel for calling me!
  • Thanks to Yi-Wen and Yik Sean for the very nice car sticker..!
  • Thank you Ah Bi and Panda for the treat and birthday cake..!
  • Thanks to my two awesome girlfriends, Sher Lyn aka The Baboon and Vanitha aka Ranghitaaa for the suprise and gifts!thanks alot you two!i appreciate it alot..!hehe..
  • Most importantly, eventhough u're thousands of mile away frm me, I still love what you did for me and I love you even more as days past dear NgShinRui!=)

I miss you baby..alot!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Random thoughts

I am like a child who wants more

but you are so reluctant to give

some child will stay and continue bugging

but some will move on to others who are willing to give.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Chapter 29 - Whose Line Is It Anyway

Ever felt like the world's gonna end for you?

Ever felt like things are always going the wrong way for you?

Ever felt like there are no more JOY and LAUGHTER in this world??

No worries..
I've got a cure for you guys out there..
Lo and Behold..

Whose Line Is It Anyway!

A great show to laugh all your problems out!seriously..been keeping me company on every weekdays from 5 to 5.30pm, Astro channel 711..

Everyone should watch it man..this is just a preview of what is install for you..a must watch..i repeat..A MUST WATCH!

What other way to get your problems out but to laugh em? =D

Friday, April 17, 2009

the past 9 days are just hell for me..
im bitter

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Chapter 28 - The Horror Doesnt Stop There

Yeap, that's right!

A couple of days after i've been discharged from the hospital, Im down with a fever and also the dreaded chicken pox!sighh..wonder when will this tirade of misfortune end??

With me going down to this bloody virus named after a chicken, im gonna miss alot of activites that im looking forward to do..namely captain ball, paintball, my dad's birthday and classes..not to forget, Mou Jian's temporary homecoming! @#$#%$#%%^$$%@%#$^%&^!!!
im sorry Mou Jian =(

Im really afraid of missing classes now..especially desktop publishing classes..involves things to do with computer applications which im not a pro in it..a total noobster in that field..sighh..i just hope i'll be able to go back to college in a week or so,earliest..

I've also been really uncomfortable since yesterday..i hope itz because of my chicken pox and fever not the bang on my head..i really do not wanna go back to the hospital..but with the complexity of the human body..i guess i need to go back for a second opinion on my brain so to confirm im really clear of trouble...

sighh sighh many plans and activities..went down the drain =(

till the next chapter..

P.s : Im sorry baby we had to cancel that dinner..but i promise u once i get better..i'll take u there for dinner!*sign with my blood* =P

Friday, April 10, 2009

Chapter 27 - Horror and Touched II

continuation from the previous post..

...I started to notice my are the structures of the whole ward..who were my neighbours and the hospital ward did not smell as bad as i thought it would be.

I was flanked on my both sides..on my right, there was an old man who well..supported Liverpool or maybe he was just someone who gambles on football,time and time again mumbling how could Liverpool on the far right was an appendix patient together with his family member who stayed all night with him..on my left,an accident victim who kinda broke his arm badly and later at night, a convict took the place on the far left..3 police were escorting him and he was cuffed with handcuffs on the bed whole night long..another surreal experience..haha..

I spent my night reading Eclipse and started thinking how lucky i was to only have my head banged up..i started recalling how i ended up hurting myself..

Mr Aaron called me to on the LCR monitor because the remote wasnt usual i would climb up the chair n on for him..unfortunately the chair wasnt really the stable kind of chair and it went of balanced..the metal at the bottom of the chair went up and my head went down first..then BAM..i was there sitting down..blurring..

I shuddered everytime i think of it..because it might have hit other more important parts of my body which is not protected by the thick layer of bones like my skull..what if it had hit my eyes?my nose? or even my neck? I would be in hell lot of trouble if that were to happen *touchwood* it got me thinking alot of i've said way earlier in the previous post..stuff that i should have done..unforseen things happens......

Shurgging off the thoughts..i went back to reading the book..and i finished it!man was i bored and with nothing else to do..i slept..

I was awaken by the nurse to checked on my blood pressure at 5 am @.@
Then at 6something @.x
Then at 7something x.x

Really potong steam..oh well..after the third time i was kinda awake d so i decided not to sleep n wait for the nurse to come n check my blood pressure again..and they did not come till 10something =.= ugh!

Around dad helped me got discharged frm the hospital and i was back to the open world again!I stopped by at college awhile to look for Mr Aaron to check on him..and also for Miss Jenny..just to tell her it has nothing to do with Mr Aaron and this accident was all down to me being really careless and clumsy but i couldnt find them in their i went home..hoping to get hold of them on mon..

And my baby is coming down to visit me again!wheee! =D

Later in the afternoon i got a call frm Miss Jenny..glad that everything is alright..and in the evening..Mr Aaron called..i was glad that he's alright..if you're reading this Sir, dont fine..everything will be alright!cheer up!=)

And that kinda ends the whole story..really...a new experience for glad i came out alive and i got a so called "man scar" that I can show off to my kids and grandkids next

Before i end..i wanna thank..

  • My parents for their unconditional care especially my mum..
  • Ma Babeh Shin for being there all the time..Love You!
  • Sher Lyn for being concern n calling Mou Jian n of course visiting me..thank you Baboon!
  • Shu Pei, Melody and Aniq for visiting guys cheered me up!
  • Yik Sean for coming to entertain me by buaya-ing the nurses..haha=D
  • Mou Jian for calling me all the way from Nilai..and also telling Chong yen that i have a concussion =.= hahaha..
  • Chong Yen for calling me and being worried bout me..
  • Rachel for calling me to check up on me too..thanks goose!
  • Ywen , Jon Toh n Daniel Lai for calling n texting me..
  • Joe Jin, Melissa,Vivien n Karen for texting me..
  • HCC staff for their concerns and gift..
..that's all right?if i missed out..please tell me k.. deeply touched by you guys..thanks so much!!

Till the next chapter..

Chapter 26 - Horror and Touched

I was sitting vision,blurred for a couple of seconds and i hear a familiar voice asking me to lie down.."Lie down and don't move," said a very worried looking Mr Aaron.

I didnt really know what hit me..all i could remember was me falling down from the chair, head first and BAM! I was seeing stars...well not exactly stars..

As i was lying down i moved my hand to touch my forehead and to my horror, i felt a curve into the frontal skull of my forehead..I knew i was in freaking deep shit..Lecturers started pouring in and one by one looked at me and gasped..It did not help the fact that i was scared to death and add in a few more gasped and the horror-ed looking faces of the lecturers, scared to death was an understatement at that period of time.

As i was lying down waiting for the ambulance to come, i was left in the hall with Mr Aaron..I was lying down but i still could see the guiltiness written all over his face and he kept talking with me, fearing that i would be unconscious..He kept asking me question and perhaps he even prayed to me just so i could be conscious while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. I was actually more than conscious..loads of things were running through my mind that very moment when i knew that there's a high possibility that i cracked my skull and it might affect my brain. A lot of things went around in my head..Loved ones, friends, future and..and stuff that i did not and should have done before it came to this point..i know it may sound cliche but if u were in my position, i might atleast be pardon to think so that way.

The thoughts made my body tremble a bit..thoughts of me not being able to do what i of it were will it ever effect me when i play sports? will i ever have some memory loss?I trembled even more thinking of not being able to be active in sports anymore..then i received a call from my mum..her voice was very worried and anxious..apparently the college manage to contact her..after telling her that i would be sent to GH,she immediately close the phone n went there..The ambulance finally arrived after 15 long minutes which to me felt like hours and I was a lil bit exhausted, perhaps due to the trembling.

I was a lil bit relax and also a lil bit scared travelling in the ambulance, first time travelling in it. Mr Chum, one of our admin officer followed me in the ambulance n he kept reassuring me things will be alright..and i kept asking, "Is my head really bad?" . He has that concerning look everytime i asked and every answer was " It is not that bad..don't worry."

Once we reached the hospital i was immediately sent to see the doc. Suprisingly, instead of working fast, the doctor kept talking to one of the nurses about karma in indian language while propping me up, at a slow pace..the indian doctor set me up and asked me some questions..after that i was told that i had a frontal fracture and all i could manage to ask was the same as always "Is my head really bad?"

"You have a fracture, that is already bad enough..we have to scan your brain." answered the doc.

Yeap,i was left there awhile, i could feel my whole face turning white with horror, the words "WE HAVE TO SCAN YOUR BRAIN" left me stunned and without a second more to dwell in my horror, a nurse appeared and said she has to insert one of the needle like thing into my tranfer the drips into my body just incase i go into a fit and i had to put on an oxygen tiub incase i have difficulty in breathing. My nose were burning when the tiub entered my wasnt comfortable at all with the additional thoughts im thinking,i was going through hell.

Not long after that, my mum came and she look worse than she sounded, i thought it wouldnt have hit her so hard but i was wrong..she was close to tears while she kept touching my body to look for any further injuries..that moment was the first time i felt like crying since the begining of this whole ordeal..before i could respond any further, i was pushed into the scanning room..

I was starting to get a lil bit restless and edgy on the CT machine..i kept moving about a lil and it took longer than it was suppose to be..after it was finally done i was so relieve and exhausted at the same time..but i do not dare to even think bout sleeping or dozing off for the moment as the doctor said earlier that i may lost my consciousness..i do not wanna lose my consciousness..i wanna know exactly what happen to me asap..while waiting for the doctor to come check the scanning results, my dad and few of his colleagues came. They went outside and talked alil bit about my condition with a person incharge..I was trying really hard to keep myself awake..with all the restlessness and edgy-ness of my whole body kicked out..exhaustion kicked in..eventually i dozed off a lil while.

I was awaken by a shake from a new doctor..he kept bombarding me with questions and later went to check the scans together with my parents and their colleagues..then only i realised that i dozed off..I was relieved that i did not lose consciousness..from afar i saw my parents talking to the doc n all..

After they finish mum said " The doctor said your brain is not affected because there is a second layer of skull protecting your brain..only your first layer of skull got fractured and cracked ---- but you will have a permanent dent on your forehead"

I did not really concentrated about the dent on my forehead and i was just so relieved that nothing bad happened to my brain..thank gooodness!

Later on i was asked to be admitted into the hospital for a check on my skull..whether if i wanna perform a plastic surgery to fix my dent part..i was relunctant after listening to the way the doctor described it..but no harm staying for one night...

Another wave of good things started to baby came! i was oh so relieved to see her..and the way she looked at kinda make me wanna do this over n over again just to see the look in her eyes again..just kidding..i was really happy and like i've said before relieved to have her by my side now..itz like the weight and worry that i was carrying was just cut into half..

I was then transferred to my ward while waiting for the second scan on my skull..this time for the plactic surgery purposes..i was pushed into the lift n all by was kind of a surreal feeling you know..i watch alot of doctors movie but I would never have dreamt that i would be in this position at this age of my yea..kinda surreal..made me feel like im in one of the Hong Kong TVB drama know i watch too much tv..

The nurses in my ward directed me to change into the patient clothing which was..enourmously huge for my size...sighh..couldnt complain much and went to change..when i was back..i was given a pleasant suprise..a visit from Sher Lyn, Shu Pei, Melody and Aniq! Very very suprised..haha..they kinda made my not much kind of a person who show affections but i was so touched by their presence..very touched mum left to take some clean clothes from the house for me..and i started receiving calls from Mou Jian and Chong Yen and messages from friends..they made my day..yes cliche again but they really do!

We talked awhile and not long after that i was asked to go for another scan and the four of them im only together with my baby..went for the CT scan,this time i was more cool n compose..knowing that i would be far..

We went back up to the ward after the scan and an unexpected visitor came..yes, Chong Yik Sean actaully came to visit me!I was like..WOW..haha..we crapped we talked and he buaya-ed some nurses there along the way..tsk was fun though talking to him..very entertaining..haha..

After he left, I still havent saw how i look like bad is the extent of the damage on my forehead..part of me wanted to go see for myself and another part..was kinda scared to see the outcome of after some thoughts..i went to see myself in the mirror..

I looked normal..just with a sligh bum on my head..but according to the doctor earlier..the dent wouldnt be visible now..perhaps later when the swell goes down and it'll be pretty much visible after that..kept imagining how'd i look like with a dent on my forehead..i shuddered thinking bout it..

All the probs were swept aside when Shin went to buy some food for me to fill my stomach..was really glad she was there till the visitation hours..couldnt have asked for more..thanks alot baby!My parents came back later with clean clothing and other necessities..

Moments after i was left alone..

I'll continue the rest of it on the next post..kinda tiring now and itz by far the longest post i've written..haha..
till the next chapter..

Friday, March 27, 2009

Chapter 25 - Living In Fear

Im sure that you guys out there watched movies like 28 days, I am Legend and all these zombies movies right? I am now living that kind of live for the past couple of days already..

My youngest bro is now having chicken pox and for my whole 19 years of life i havent been infected by it yet..i do not wish to get infected JUST YET..there is too many things to do gonna open in a week plus and so many activities comin having the lil things popping up my skin is a no no..

Ive been trying to quarentine myself in my own room for the past two days and im paranoid when i feel ithcy in any parts of my body..ugh..the tension is unbearable!itz a ticking time bomb..itz just a matter of time..and injection is a no no for me..i hate injections..sighhh!i need a place to saty for the next 2 to 3 weeks or so..anyone interested to put me up?lol..

anyway..zombie chicken pox aside..tonight from 8.30 -9.30..remember to switch off your light!do the mother nature a favour and give her a break aite!she needs some time out..and keep ur house safe!EPL chose the right time to take an international break..thank goodness =P

done with this chapter..
till the next one..

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Chapter 24 - Back from Hibernation!

Itz been like almost 2 weeks since i last updated my blog..exams, open days, trips and laziness are among the factors why im not typing away at this blank box.

Well..itz been kind of a turbulent period of time for me the past few weeks..been through the stages of anxiousness, joy, hilarious,pek chekness and a companion that seems to follow me everywhere, disappointment.

right, the first thing that i've learnt in this period of time is to CONFIRM everything with your collegemates..i missed my moral exam..due to some so called unforseen circumstances..99% of the reason why i missed it,itz actually down to me but the remaining one is..MAYBE, just MAYBE i feel that im at the wrong offense,though i love my friends there..yes especially you two there..but i still feel that this is not right for me..especially in terms of my im not looking down on anyone or playing up my abilities ( if i have any) but itz just not communicating well with alot of people here..sigh..still itz no reason for me to miss my i take back what i said bout 99% and change it to 100%! but thank goodness the lecturers are nice there, i still have the chance to right my of the salvations i have in my college now..

Next would be bout my open day...i sometimes doubt whether my college is really having an open day or a food fair..theres stall selling foods and drinks (im one of them)..not only that..there are stalls selling cameras, make up accessories and some promotion on body slimming thing!was kinda caught off guard by all these..why didnt they do it last year..hmm..oh well..was kinda fun..learnt how to make chrysanthemum tea..haha..and oh requires lotz of patience..especially working with kidding..Van can be a really good sales person..she can just walk around n ask (or maybe scare) them to buy the tea..and it works!although on the first day it didnt taste that good..but it was still fun and im glad itz over =) (in a good way)..

After the whole open day fiasco, itz 3 weeks break for me..and what better way to kickstart it then to go down kl the next day with my girl! =) stayed at my sis's place while helping my baby to settle her taiwan application stuff..before i's some pics

We're in KL baby!

Dying list : brands to buy before i die..
Grannie Karen!

right..i might be arrested for saying this but the government must really be more efficient n be less incompetent when it comes to the small things such as being systematic n efficient coz these small things would add up to big things..the public transportation espeically the ktm is really...really horrendous..tsk tsk..oh well enough bout the bad stuff..putrajaya is really nice..but sadly itz only for the government seriously looks like a big,advanced technological amusement park..but when you go big disappointment man..and and..the taxi people wan k!i mean literally..bring back the metre system!!another thing bout kl is if you do not have any car u practically cnt survive and my baby learn it the hard way..but it was nice walking around the big cities..i thought penang was big n busy man was i ever so have to walk around in kl and u get what i mean..then we had dinner with Grannie Karen at Sunway Pyramid..memories from the KL trip with the PFS gang in 2007 started to ring in..ahh..sweet ol memories..=)

After doing most of the important things we hung out around a few of KL shopping centres..Berjaya Time Square..Pavillion..Mid Valley..too bad we do not have more time to hang around longer..oh well..itz still sweet memories..hehe..and staying in my sis's place for a few days really got me thinking..perhaps i could do my degree down here at KL,staying with my sis...but i have to get pass a very very big obstacle..sighh..oh well..still a year plus left..will think of that later..then there is the road back home to penang..we were sort of forced to go up to a bus..and midway we have to change bus..ish..should have bought tickets from the booth..we slept most of the time in the bus..almost missed the juru station that baby get to go

and yesterday..we reached another milestone being together!hehe..9months baby..woots..spent it drinkin starbucks hot chocolate and watch movie in laptop..and not to forget..eating lotz n lotz of belacan chicken =D

moving the past 2 weeks..itz been very exciting for Liverpool Football Club as they beat Real Madrid 4-0 and after that, a 4-1 trashing at the devil's very own backyard!woots!!to mae things even sweeter, they lost to Fulham 2-0 the following game and the Reds army marched on with a 5-0 trashing of Aston Villa the following have never tasted this sweet before..and well..we might not win the title this season but we did the double over the devils this season didnt we??then again..there's still hope in winning the title!!

Captain Fantastic flying high!

now comes the disappointment part..honestly i was quite sad..disappointed by the way u thought of me..perhaps i couldnt blame you because YOU were never in this position please never judge me this way..i treat u sincerely and i thought there were still hope n chance..i've been looking for the window when u closed the door on me..but guess what,im not looking for it hurts when i know the truth,i guess i deserved this..once it was important to me who i was in ur eyes..but now..whether im a useless person or a dog in ur eyes..i do not mind anymore as i do not care what u think of me anymore..and btw, u have no right to call me a dog..i will bitch around whenever i like wherever i want..

till the next chapter..

im awake...i hope!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Chapter 23 - Counting Down The Days

Do you know how someone feels when they are told that they have only a few months to live?

I Do...

Tuesday, March 3, 2009






Monday, March 2, 2009

Chapter 22 - Inspiration

You know whats the latest problem i have in my life right now?other than shortage of cash and being a hell of a procrastinator, i lack inspiration..

Being in the field that im studying in now requires alot of creativity sparks and all of those comes from inspiration..well hey,im finding it freakishly hard to complete this post and im only at the second paragraph..

This prob has been followin me as long as i could've remembered..all through primary to secondary up till now in my college year..oh dang..someone,anyone give some sparks of inspiration to the creativity part in my brain!helppp..!!

ANYWAYS...i went to college this afternoon to hand in my major form or whatever you called that..i stumbled upon a couple of my classmates and they told me tht im the only one who is going to take journalism..and if this goes on,they might not even open a class for me..and that means..i would have to take PR or another words..a broader and wider sense of creativity and that would mean that i need more inspiration!oh damn oh damn..and to make things of the lecturers pronounced my name as Kitisak in front of the whole MassCommunication im dubbed as the male Hello Kitty..thank goodness i aint there to witness my coronation as Hello Kitty's other half..oh sure my girl would love it..right baby?lol =p

well i guess that's all for now..gotta go back to doin my moral assignments..yes i know sher,u've done it and i havent..
till the next chapter..

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Chapter 21 - He makes guys with painted nails cool..

For you guys and girls who watch American Idol season 8 MUST be a fan of this guy..

seriously..after last 2 nights performance, he certainly deserves a standing ovation..he is a new type of singer..for me he is a rocker,punk and everything nice in it..okay,i might be over-exaggerating it..but hey, u have u to listen to find out..if u guys thinks he rocks..then welcome to the club..if not..go dig ur ears!lol..he certainly can go a long way...he makes guys who puts on nail polish looks macho..he brings back the cool-ness to the rocker cum emo style..he is serious talent..and he totally stands out in group 2..totally outclassed everyone..ahh..david cook and steven tyler, make way for the new guy!

On another note..i served a group of Japanese guys in Haagen experience..i like the way they try to speak english..they remind me of him..


the more serious side of him..

yeap..that's right..for those of u who doesnt know him..he is Hiro Nakamura..tht's his character's name in Heroes..real name is Masi Oka...i like especially when those japanese guys said thank sounds like "Thang Kiu"..=D

well i guess that's all for now..
till the next chapter..
and Thang Kiu =p

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Chapter 20 -Dilemma no more!

Itz now 1.40am in the morning..and i cant seem to hit the snooze mood..there are just so many things that are running through my mind..nope,this is not another emo post from me so dont worry,itz safe to read on if u're lookin for a non emo post =)

Well anyway, i've finally made up my mind..that i'll be majoring in journalism!yesss, journalism!honestly, just a couple of hours ago i was still being on the fence regarding this majoring stuff..PR or journalism?then thanks to me being an insomniac lately..i've started to think..ALOT and DEEPLY into this matter and after a very long and thorough considerations on both sides..i've decided to commit myself to journalism..

Reasons why i chose journalism over PR?....i forgot=P(my mind was in a turbulent and chaotic state trying to figure out what to choose)
Well what i do remember is that im pretty encouraged by the fact that i got an A for my news writting (english i got an A-) so this should mean something right?i mean yea..alot of people score for that subject but hey,this doesnt mean that the lecturer is being lenient but the students are very good at it..right?right?...right! i've never said it before but im actually quite proud of it..

Secondly, you will not be growing grapes (menganggur) if u're in the field of journalist because if you are, you're either one hell of a useless ass or the world have become too dumb and retarded to know how to read so yea..the percentage for me being unemployed is 1 to 1000 or more..even some research (that lotz of people have been talking about but i dont know what research izzit) shows that journalist is one of the 10 occupations that are not being affected by the economy a tick for im the eldest and i have 2 lil bros to support in the future..job security is a must for me.. actually not really good at just quite the average or below average kind of guy..even in writting..yea,though i get an A in news writting but then i still feel that itz not really up to the standard that can take me far..why did i choose journalism then?apart from the two reasons stated..another one would be because this is where i know i can still improve..i still have time..atleast one sem to improve on my writting and language,so yea fingers crossed that i'll be able to improve alot before i set out on my training next year...

Next, this would be my ticket out of this, im not saying Malaysia is not a good country..i mean why isnt it not a good country?other than the racial issue,childish politicians, more racial issues, more childish politicians, stupid racist principle of Penang Free School and bad traffic light..being a Malaysian isnt such a bad idea..right?right?...RRRIGHHT!..i just want to live my life to the fullest..explore every part of the world if i could..and being a journalism..the oppurtunities are there..travelling has always been one of my unsung passion..i'll have the chance to fulfill that not that guy who sits in the office from 8-5..doing the routine work over and over and over again..perhaps that's why im bored out pretty fast working in the mall..and the best thing bout it is "I get to travel around for free" quotes Mr of my lecturers...a funny fella..=D

Another reason that perhaps i get to cover news about sports..badminton,basketball,swimming,, main thing is bout yea..i hope i'll get a chance to be based in England as a sports journalist or something like that..then woohoohoo!every weekend..covering news from the Kop and singing the anthem YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE..ahh...that's a dream..ask every football fan..they'll answer u the same thing..minus the journalist part..that's my

To archieve all those..i need to improve on alot of things u see..first on the lisst is my old die hard habit - procrastination- ughh...need to stop procrastinating!
next would be to improve on my language and writting skills..books books books..i need more books!
next would be...ermm..errmm..havent figure it out yet..feeling a lil too sleepy..

i do not know why..i always have ideas to blog and write and think during the middle of the night..odd..really really odd..=.="

oh welll..after all this typing..feeling a lil sleepy..
i guess that's all for now for this chapter..
till the next one..

8 months of being together..
contains the best and worst times in my life..
perhaps that's the reason why i greatly treasure this period being with you..
and hopes that it continues to go on..
much love,
your honey~~~~=D

Monday, February 23, 2009

Chapter 19 - Hungry

Lately i do not know what is wrong with me..i'm always feeling very hungry no matter how much i've ate..

Even after consuming an extra large bowl of hokkien mee, I still crave for more and more food..and instead of growing fatter, im slimming down...just by eating more food!is this weird or wad?do i have tapeworms in my intestines or do i have a fatal disease??

Im already feeling hungry as Im typing this post..ughh..

okay la,time to go n hunt for food in my fridge!boring post i
till the next chapter..

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Chapter 18 - Clear the air..

Just to let anyone know and to prevent any further misunderstandings...
the person in chapter 16 is me aite..
no one else but me..
sorry for the misunderstandings..

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Chapter 17 - The Fray

It's been a long time since i've uploaded a song here is The Fray -You Found Me..
what i like is the enjoy guys..

I found god
On the corner of first and Amistad
Where the west was all but won
All alone, smoking his last cigarette
I Said where you been, he said ask anything
Where were you?
When everything was falling apart
All my days were spent by the telephone
It never rang
And all I needed was a call
That never came
To the corner of first and Amistad

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Whyd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

In the end everyone ends up alone
Losing her, the only one whos ever known
Who I am, who Im not, who I want to be
No way to know how long she will be next to me

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Whyd you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

Early morning, City breaks
Ive been calling for years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never send me no letters
You got some kind of nerve, taking all I want

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Where were you where were you?

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Whyd you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
why'd you have to wait
to find me, to find me

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Chapter 16 - What Happens When You Make The Wrong Move?

..You'll be down right miserable of course..!

Right, in the last chapter i blogged about, what happens if you made the wrong decision?well actually nothing much is gonna happen other than you being a screw up and telling yourself I-Should-Have-Never-Done-That-Fffing-Thing-In-The-First-Place..
Phew..that was long..

There is this guy i know..i've known him for quite a long time d..though i've known him for a very very long time, he can be very volatile at times, he is quite sensitive towards everything..sometimes i wonder if he was suppose to be born a girl..perhaps the big Guy up there made a mistake..don't get me wrong,he aint a faggot or anything..he is just..very sensitive i guess..

What's wrong with being sensitive you may ask?well..technically there is nothing really bad about being sensitive..i mean you will always always think bout what other people feel before doing or saying anything out or you know..just being a nice kid who doesnt gets on people's nerves and therefore you'll be likeable..BUT if you're being overly sensitive and especially when you have a ever changing moods and emotions..that spells D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R..

Yea, so this dude has this man-period quite often although he is also often the bubbly type of guy too..i've persoanlly observed him and noticed that his mood changes like a chameleon changes according to the environment!one thing bad bout it is..he can't change his moody mood back to the cheery mood as fast as the latter could change to it's this have really brought lotz of problems for him especially when dealing with someone close or someone he adores and loves very much ie family members,girlfriend etc etc..

Recently he has just made a grave mistake.."one of my worst" quotes the lad..well listening to his story, he was really a shit-hole to be honest with you..he made someone he loves mad and i mean real mad..coz of his rashness..and it seems unrepairable..he has his chances and man did he blew it this time..he pushed his luck (and all those negative emotions) too far and end up being burned..i really wished that i have some ways to fix the problem because i could see that he's really repentant..sigh..

So now this friend of mine is actually like waiting for his death sentence..perhaps he just deserves it..
So this is one of the worst case scenario that can happen when you make the wrong people out calm when making things you do,words u choose to utter out and also your emotions..

i guess tht is all for this chapter..
till the next chapter..

I regret everything i said..
no way to take it all back..
all i can do now is..
apologize,sincerely and hoping..
hoping that you'lll take me back..

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Chapter 15 - Decisions

It's either gonna make me or break me..more often than not, the decisions i made usually break me and up til now, the decisions i made have not reach the life or career threatening so im pretty tensed up by this issue..


lecturers have advised me to talked to seniors and boy are they ever so wrong..fair enough, the seniors gave me explaination bout the stuff i could do with journalism..and seriously im enticed into going into journalism..the problem is both of these majors are very enticing u see..both have stuff i can really worked on and both have very clear and good job oppurtunities in the future..but one thing im not sure which field i could excel better?of course i would like the glam job where u meet glam people eat glam food drink glam drinks attend glam functions etc etc but life is not always all that glam..another problem is i've suddenly changed into a very passive person, a very not so sociable person..this happening at this time, it sucks u see...

im gonna resigned from my work..yes..imma gonna resign from my work!final decision!hopefully im right...

i guess that's all for this chapter..
till the next one...

do not hide from me please..

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Chapter 14 - The number 14

It has been an eternity since i last typed something in this blank space..

Have you ever felt the rush of emotions when u finally saw someone you are dying to see?someone although apart from you for only a month plus feels like a year?yea im over exaggerating but then again if you're in my shoes you might feel the same..who knows?Yea, girl is back!!boy am i glad that she is back...she is back for valentines!=D

Alright, i'm trying not to sound cliche, but this Valentines Day is the best ever i've ever spent with itz nothing extravagant or anything and this Valentines made me realised something, that Valentines is just like any other day..because being together with her everyday is like Valentines to me..spending all those ups and downs together for the past 8 monnths..i've been blessed with the best possible present ever!

Knowing me,things will never always go smoothly for a long period of time..yea so i was actually a lil bit mix in emotions and feelings,being a over too sensitive to my girlfriend for the past couple of days..for apparently a small tiny comes to a point where i made a conclusion and i told sher that, " If you ever have a bf in the future, make sure he is not like me...guys like me are like 2nd to abusers" i was pretty frustrated...and no thanks to the bloody msn who keeps dying on me and my very volatile mum,i was pushed to the extreme..but i had a cardboard to help save me from tearing aprt my room coz....i tore the cardboard =)..

Then i got a call from Rachel...she kinda read through me and pinpointed my seriously helped me..i mean itz like always been under my nose but i've never ever really realised it before up till this moment..and really hoping that for my babystingray sake and myself i will change...i do not wanna end up in the,thanks Super Goose!hehe..

i guess that is all for this chapter..
till the next chapter..

i will not let you down..
i solemnly swear..

Thursday, February 5, 2009

chapter 13 - At What Cost?

She's staying....

but at what cost?

i would rather be miserable than her not being able to do what she wants now..

i would actually seriously do that if it will help her...

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Chapter 12 - New Month Ahead

I've not been fulfilling my own personal target by blogging as oftenly as i want writting skills is getting really rusty and same goes to my speaking skills..

Today,a friend of mine just lost his grandfather,my condolences to him..although we're not close but the feeling of losing someone that is close to you is similar to everyone no matter how different is the aspect of it..i know how it feels, although mine in my opinion is few times worse which is living in a constant fear of losing that someone..

I admire those people who could just take it up and let it go whenever and wherever they want..take for example..there is this stranger that i get to know through a relative of mine..he could just jump from one ship to another..when i said ship i mean relationship..i dun admire the way he does it..but i do admire how he could just let everything go, like nothing have ever happened before, like there is no responsibility..not only in this aspect but in others as well..i wonder if he ever feel guilty or anything, itz like he is cold blooded or might sound freaky but i really wanna try feeling it once..being kept numb away from everything..emotions,thoughts and sanity is now making my life quite miserable..yes physically i couldnt compare to those who are suffering from the war torn countries but mentally i think im at the same level as them..they indulge in vengence and hatred wherelse mine, everything (minus vengence and hatred)

But...what are the consequences of me changing to a cold blooded crazy psycho?all the things that i have live for will change..beliefs,principles and maybe even friends and family..i have plenty hanging on that..i couldnt and am not ready to lose any of that now,im back to square one,sitting down here fearing of losing someone always wondering where is the silver lining to all this prob..*you could come out now silver..i need a break*

till the next lame and emo chapter..

*hanging on real tight*

Friday, January 23, 2009

Chapter 11 - The Magic Number 7

Today is exactly the 7th month we're together; 7 months of hardship,adapting and most importantly being together and in love with you!
I'll let the pics tell the stories..a pic are a worth a thousand words right?hehe..
The first pic u took of me!

I remembered u saying..
"Cant you open your eyes and smile!" lol..

Our first official date together......
in KFC! XD

In BM for the St Anne celebration!
On the way to Jusco BM..haha..

Bon odori!

The interview in E&O hotel =)

Some random pic..=D
Making good use of the webcam in Inti XP

More random pics..haha..
and more...The unsuprised birthday celebration!
baby's 18th birthday..hehe..

The Suprised party!thanks to everyone there!
*especially miss Karen Lim =)*
Off the record..this is me and her bro..
this is us waiting for the girls to shop..haha..

and next....

A visit to the Big Apple!
lol...just kidding ler..itz just some where in Malaysia..
anyone can guess it? =D
cozy cozy =p

Our First Prom!
that night we're officially not virgins for prom!

That night..
we danced hand in hand like there was no tomorrow..
it was such a great feeling..
all hail those who created prom and dance..lolz!

During Xmas eve..the last pic we took before she went to taiwan..
but surely it wun be the last..

We're 7 months old together and though there's been highs and really really low lows..we're still together..

James A.Baldwin once said..
" Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up."

and grew i did..
I Love you Ng ShinRui and that's all i need to know =)

till the next chapter..

Bless everyone in the world with love!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Ads : Tag by Vanitha

1. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend or girlfriend smokes?
Yes it does. I hate smokers

2. How about drinking?
I don't mind as long as she isn't an alcoholic

3. Do you like someone you can't have? not that sure coz i already have her =)

4. If someone like you right now, would you want them to tell you? depends..

5. What's your favourite sport?
Basketball, Football and badminton

6. It's Saturday night, you're home alone. What do you do?
I'd be on the phone with my baby!

7. Do you like roller coasters?
After last year, of course!

8. When's the perfect time to have a bf/gf?
You can't measure the exact time for it..just like how you can't measure a dream.

9. If you could date any celebrity, who would it be?
Ermm...currently my only celeb is my gf XD

10. What are you doing this weekend?
Working on sat and spending time at home on sun..

11. What's your favourite restaurant?
Anything that serves food that satisfy me..

12. Have you ever hugged someone?

13. Ever kissed someone you weren't attracted to?

14. Do you like anyone right now?
There are no words to describe how is my feelings for her..

15. What is the first thing you noticed about the opposite sex?

16. Which do you prefer - beach or mountains?

17. What kind of phone do you have?
Some Motorola phone

18. Computer or laptop?

19. Jeans or sweats?

20. Which year has been the best so far?
Year cliche as it may sound,it's the best because of her =)

21. How old are you gonna be on your next birthday?
18 + 1

22. What should you be doing right now?
My Malaysia Studies assignment (Vanitha, if i cnt finish i will blmae you =P)

23. What is your favorite TV show?
One Tree Hill (The best!)

24. What's been your last purchase?
Digi reload card

25. Are you attracted to girls/boys that smoke?
Look at number 1

26. Have you ever fallen on your butt in front of a crowd of people?
Let's just a klutz sometimes..

27. What do you do when you're at home?
Laze and dream

28. What is your favourite subject?

29. What is the best thing that ever happened to you?
Having Ng ShinRui in my life, my family and friends..

30. Ten person to tag.
Sher Lyn
Siew Mon
Mei Wan

Directions: Once you've been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave a comment "You're tagged!" and you can't tag the person who tagged you.

1.I procrastinate alot
2.I love my Girlfriend alot
3.I am a supporter of Liverpool Football Club
4.I think Alex Ferguson is always punched in the nose by his wife..he has a purple nose
5.I love songs
6.I love writing sometimes..especially when i have some ideas on what to write about
7.I lack creativity
8.I hate politicians
9.I wanna be in PR but im afraid im not cut out to be in that field
10.I would love to travel around the world
11.I want to grow taller
12.I need to start doing my MS assignment
13.I need this Tag to be done quick
14.Read num 13
15.Read num 14
16.I am glad =D

I tag these people because...
BabyStingray-Because i love you!
Cyen -Because you never did my tag before (i think)
Eiven - Because i never tag you before
Yi-wen - Because i spelt your name correctly
Sher Lyn - Because you're my baboon
Razeen - Because you're my lastest addition to my blog =P
Chammaine - Because me and Vanitha couldnt make it earlier to your school..
Siew Mon - Because you criticize that i plurk too much..haha..
Mei Wan - Because you're ah ma and you're need to let you exercise a bit XD
Fragrance - Because you're good at doing tags =D

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Chapter 10 - Still Alive

After one whole week of studying and still pretty much alive..i have not lagged any sleep, i have not been any less concentrated in class..yea,so im doing quite well..much have to be boiled down to the short sem im going through right only gonna take Malaysian Studies and Moral for this sem..and each day..i have like an average of 2 to 3 hours in college,so i pretty much can cope with it..this is much easier than high

So just started on monday..and truth to be told,i dun look forward to taking these two subjects..i mean..who wants to learn bout History ever again (scar from SPM) especially politics (totally not a fan of politics..find politicians very pathetic and childish at times) and not to forget..going back to the same concepts of read and memorizing part of moral..just that this time there is more and itz harder...thank goodness for Han Chiang..they chose the right lecturers (except for KCS) to teach these two dreaded subjects..

I especially find Mr Eric to be pretty fun and crazy..his class is and has all this kind of stories which can totally open up your perception on alot of the general things in our life like religion and etc etc..after his class,i really think he can start a cult called, ERICOLOGY..he is the type of person that i will really listen to..whatever teachings he seriously does have a strong sense of logic in when he said, "it's very sad these days that people turn religion in to a business"..that is something very true,but im sure not all of us notice it right?he even did juggling to teach the

well i guess that is all for this chapter..
till the next chapter..

it wasnt alright at first..
but on second thought..
im okay with it!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Chapter 9 - Make or Break

This year will either make me or break me..if i were to make the predictions on whether i will make or break, i will,based on all the past experiences..go for break me..

Im not being pessimistic..okay well yea im sort of being a pessimistic in a way..but with the looks on how things goees in the past..i always make the wrong choices,not all but mostly..I have to choose which i would wanna major in after this sem of mine..and im still sitting on the fence for either PR or Journalism..many people would jump at the chance of taking PR but sadly if your name is Kiatisak Chua, you would have to think hard..think really really hard cause i actually do not have the most creative minds around you see..and my arts and designs......dun let me start there..on the other pretty good at news writting..but i seriously do not wanna enter journalism..i duno why..itz just not my afraid i would not do well in the later stage due to zero percent of interest in it..i need a counsellor for this prob..but who??and i need someone to fund me to further my studies abroad if my college doesnt have any links with any local like i've say..this year pretty much decide what my future gonna be..sighh..

as usual..i start the year with high enthuasism that things will finally turn out great..and as usual as well..early expectations always dissapoint me..things are slowly but surely turning sour in every has always been like this for since god knows when..sigh..i know i should count my blessings but each of us do have our own dissastisfaction rite?who doesnt?

i think as i grow every year,my luck pretty much dwindle away with it..just great..and to make things worse..though i never say it out often i've always felt insufficient in lotz of things and in lotz of aspect..brains, trust,confidence,talents..securities..the list just goes on..and all i got is just more negative elements compare to positives one..

im hanging in there everyday wit the little positive left in not gonna sit down n just gonna drag my ass out of this hole..

till the next chapter..