Please.

Just tell me what do you want me to do. Don't keep me hanging.

I am begging you.

You do not know how much it hurts being here.

Self confident issues at helm with sinking ship temporary steadied.

I constantly have this niggling feeling that I am always not good enough for the newspaper industry as I have always been quite bad at using flowery words. Plus, my grammatical mistakes are aplenty.

I forgot that I am only 20 sometimes and I often thought of myself as an adult. I mean, it aint easy working for a newspaper organisation. Not many 20 year olds can make it to where I am (I am certainly not boasting). So this mean, extra pressure which is unnecessary most of the time. I always try not to screw up and try to be as perfect as possible. But what did not cross my mind was that to learn is to make mistakes.

Another factor why I feel I am not up to par is because of that nervousness whenever I need to interview someone, even to people I know! I did tons of interviews before (including my time in KL for my training) and one would expect me to be a seasoned veteran or at least not be nervous or have the butterfly-in-the-stomach kind of feeling, but I always do! It seems that I could not put the experiences I have to good use. Sigh sigh sigh.

Thank goodness, I have heard stories from seniors and older people that it takes time to fit in. It is a comforting thought that I am still 20 and have much to learn but I do not wanna take that as a reason. I mean, I can't be 20 forever and Ive gotta start looking for ways to get rid of this problem. Ive got a headstart now and I intend to make the best out of it but at times I wonder, can I really make it?

I have always like to be special. Probably it's a Gemini trait. Now, I feel special with the what I have achieved so far (albeit not too big of an achievement). I know I can't rest on my laurels now and have to be constantly on my toes.

Next up on the list is personal life.

I've steadied by leaking ship but there are still chances that it will turn out to be the next Titanic. Time is probably what I need the most now together with support to plug the hole of this shinking ship. However, with the progress I am making now, I will probably arrive at the port in no time.


I hate it when people judge blindlessly.

Something has change within me, something is not the same

I see myself as someone with low ambitions. Why? Because I care too much. I always care about what people think and feel, from the time I was small, at least towards the people that matters to me. Plus, I have a sensitive nature, so it adds that that I-care-a lot-about-what-people-think-attitude. Initially, I thought being sensitive is a good thing. I mean now out of the 3 closest friend I have, 2 of them are girls. I do not have high ego, I do not like confrontation though I do not bow down easily when I know I am right.

Then again, if that person is important to me, I will somehow, one way or another give in.

I have my many fair share of experiences when it comes to being influenced (either directly or indirectly) in making decisions. If they show a tiny sense of dissatisfaction or dislike, my mind would set into an auto-pilot mode, searching for other alternatives or preparing myself for disappointment. That's pretty much who I am and what I have been for as long as I could remember. Sometimes I wonder how other guys could be..selfish? Guys at my age, a lot of them can act without thinking. Just go as they like..go with the flow and live life without any stress or burden.

I think I am a softie inside. (ewww?)

How I wish I could be in their shoes. Living the life in the early twenties. I mean, we get to be 20 only once and with the rate I am going now, I feel like I am 30 years old. I always have worry, burden, emotionally unstable and so on and so forth. That's what mostly girls would feel. I need more guy friends. I need to immerse myself into a guy's world. Because my problem has just gotten worse especially in the past few months. Everyday just feels so heavy for me.

Probably I should drink more, smoke some pot or things like that. Hey, my mum once said to me, you're 20 now and at this age, its your time to go haywire. Just dont go make a girl pregnant.

Hmmm. Probably I should take a cue from my mom, go haywire and have the teenage-drunkard-stoning-attitude who when you say something, all he could reply is "worddd" . lol.

Hum hum hum hum hum

people say, if you're not hapy at something. You either get rid of it or stay away from it. But anyone in this world, could you please explain to me why I could not do either of those two things now?

Its pretty dreadful here. Man, I wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel soon. God, angels, or fairy godmothers, I need a solution now.

I. Am. Desperate.
lol.

Now I aint saying she a gold digger

Okay, I am pretty sure most of you here are aware of the Aminulrasyid Amzah's case. Many (or should I say most) of you out there are faulting the police for killing the 15 year old kid, who drove illegally in the middle of the night, was part of an accident and eventually leading to the car chase. Now, is it me or is the public forgetting the fact that the kid is driving illegally and did not stop when the cop warned him to pull up at the side?

Many critics have said that the whole thing has been covered up and that the authorities are making up their own stories and evidence. However, what prove do these critics have? Were they on the scene of the crime then? The fact is, the kid went out in the middle of the night at 2am, drove the car out illegally and was spotted by the cop. No offense to the parents, instead of blaming the cops for their son's death, why not look at themselves first?

If you were a cop, and the car that you have signalled to pull over suddenly sped off. What will your reaction be? They gave chase and it is alleged that the kid tried to run down the cops as well. Plus, the area is prone to many robbery cases so if I were the cop, I would have used my gun as well. Not only that, it might have caused further accidents which will result in possible fatalities to the innocent ones. What happen if someone wanted to cross the road during the car chase? He/she will get knocked down. Or some innocent motorist going home after a long night shift? So much is at staked and you dont expect the police to let all that happen right?

No, I am not siding the cops. I am looking at the neutral point of view where I take everything into consideration. All those rumours bout the cover ups, they are just rumours, not hard facts. It is a wonder those people who created the facebook group that goes 'justice to aminulrasyid' etc etc did not think of this simple fact. Sorry to say, but the parents of the victims were perhaps thinking of getting something out of this fiasco. Yea, the press might be able to interview some of Aminul's friends or relatives where they say he is a good boy etc etc etc. But if he is so good, why would he sneaked out in the middle of the night, to go out with his friends? Is that the attribute of a good boy? The media tend to add extra spice and human interest side into the story to attract more readers. Sometimes you just need to think.

So people, THINK before pointing the fingers at the authorities. Who could have figured out that the person in the car is just a 15 year old boy? Do not give the politicians any chances to politicized this issue any further.

I might be wrong, but I am saying it as I see it.

And dear Aminul, may you Rest In Peace.

This is my voice, what about you?

I've been attending Feature Writing classes this semester conducted by Mr. Aaron, one of the lecturers whose classes I enjoy going in the most. Probably its because he does not teach everything based on readings and text, but more on the current issues and it keeps our brain going, thinking about a certain issue in many different angle. This is especially a plus point for student majoring in Journalism like me.

Back to Feature Writing.

I am sure many of you, if not all of you have watched American Idol some point in your life right? And I am sure that many of you have heard the judges criticized a few of its contestant for not knowing what artist they should be, be it country, pop, rock n roll etc etc.

Same goes to Feature Writing. It is not only about writing in this case. Its about developing the writer in you. Who are you as a writer and what is your style. I have never thought about this before and truth to be told, I am still mystified on what kind of writer I am. The emotional one or the adventurous one? Poetic or Sarcastic? The Mitch Album style or Dan Brown style. The list could go on and on.

It is pretty exciting trying to find out what sort of writer you are. I mean, you thought you knew who you were in real life but in a writer's sense, it might be a different person altogether. haha. If I had to categorized myself now, I would put myself in the boring/emotional style which I hope and wished that it would not be permanent. haha.

Anyways, I'm pretty bad at fulfilling promises. I have not been updating my blog regularly to improve on my writing and it has..well, deteriorated =(

I've gotta start following this schedule again. Sigh. Self-discipline certainly needs an improvement.

Lea Michele is hot =)

it has been going on for months. The cycle never ends. Whats next?

When there are clouds in the sky you'll get by if you smile through your pain and sorrow.

Went through a bunch load of crap in the past week. It seems like communication always breaks down whenever I am trying to relay what I am trying to express..not only for personal relationships but also at college. I suddenly feel that I do not belong here at all and it feels like no one understands me. Thank goodness there's music. It's nice when you find yourself connecting to some songs, its like the singer is going through what you're going through.. And at times, they can be the best counselor in the world.




Love the lyrics. Glee rocks me world.

When you're dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part

Have you, in your life ever felt that you have improved?
I have. Not that I'm praising myself or even boasting, but I do feel that I have change and improved, one way or another.

I just got back recently from my training in Malay Mail which is quite an eye opening experience. I've received more exposure than I thought which is very good. However, you have to have the attitude to do something.

I once did not have that kind of attitude at all but things slowly but surely change during my time in high school up to college. The attitude of not giving up, finishing what you have started and be willing to take anything that comes your way. Not many people is born with that kind of characteristics. I know I am not. As a matter of fact, I was a mommy's boy, a lazy fella (well, still is in some aspects) and I do not finish what I started. Put things in a simple way, I was immature.

Things change when I started going back to high school where I was expose to many things. I had inspiring seniors, who led by example. Though they may be a pain the ass and sometimes I despised them, but as time passes by I realised that whatever they have done for or on us, its for our own good. From there, I felt like I have built my character. The art of communicating with people. So far it has worked wonders for me.

I remember back in form 2 when I was a leader for my patrol in scout group, I thought I was leading very well. In truth there were no communication between me and the members. There were groups..its like a mutiny was gonna happen but thank goodness it did not. haha. From there, I saw what went wrong and I managed to change and realised, I was terrible..really really bad back then.

Peer pressure is the other reason I improved. I was the last minute kind of guy..as in really last minute but there is this chunky monkey (yes you know who you are) who is so punctual that sometimes I feel it went up to the point of overdoing it. But hey, thats her and it worked well for this chunky monkey so I have to take my hats off that. So I kinda improved a lil bit from the time management thingy and try to get things done as soon as possible rahter than procrastinating. Personally, it felt good, finishing things up before the deadline..though some may say that doing things last minute may help enchance their work.

I have not only change in terms of work. But on how I view relationships. From the typical messaging everyday with your high school crushes to a mature relationship. However, one thing do not change in a relationship that both parties must communicate with each other, in any way possible. A relationship could not last by just trusting each other etc etc..we're not living in the past anymore where the man (whose ego is as high as the sky) do not communicate with their partners and the relationship could just work out. Things are very different now. We need sparks. We do not wanna be boring. Look at the westerners (not that I want to glorify them), they communicate. No doubt their divorce rates are high, but I still like their way. Bleh, cheesy.

Anyhows, I feel like I've made the right changes in life. Have you?

A letter to Dad

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes t! o the fa ct that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science finds a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John


PS. Dad, none of the above is true.. I'm over at Tommy's house.

I just wanted to remind you there are worse things in life than the Report Card in my desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home, your Son



Ive got this somewhere, real hilarious.

So yeah, we're going down

This is one of those years where, whatever team or personnel I am supporting will not win or will not do well at all.

Liverpool FC (Yes all you Manure fans out there, laugh it all out..plus the one specific Hotspurs fan) and Alex Lambert are two of the best examples.

One, being dubbed as the title contender this year has falter terribly, instead of fighting for honours and title, the Reds are left to slug it out for Champions League spot - where they are currently in danger of even not qualifying for it. Another one, a contestant in the new (and boring, compared to last year) season of American Idol who has a unique and distinct voice that would win over millions - but sadly it was not the case on Thrusday night where he was eliminated instead of Tim Urban, a guy who totally decimated 'Apologize' though he has improved considerably. Then again, Alex Lambert totally have my vote.

Having had one of the best season last year, Liverpool this year has totally turn it around- for the worse as they now have to slug it out against teams like Hotspurs, Villa and Man City when we should be challenging teams like Chelsea and Barcelona for glory.

It bemuses me how a team can fall from grace out of a sudden and nothing much has changed last season compare to teams like like Manure, who sold their star player, Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid and only took in Gabriel Obertan, a youngster and Michael Owen on a free while we sold our player of the season Xabi Alonso and defender Arbeloa to the Spanish side. We got a right back at 17 million and a crocked Italian for an estimated fee of 20 million (though it depends on appearance). But performance wise, Man united have been heads and shoulders above us although we beat them the last time we met.

Its all going down hill for the red side of Merseyside now and I am fast losing hope on Rafa Benitez and his claims of achieving top 4 spot this season. I am preparing myself for the worse, the taunts of opposing fans and worse, the departure of several star players like Torres. I will still keep my faith in Rafa as the manager but the latest results, a 1-0 defeat to Lille, things are looking gloomier than ever.

For American Idol, oh boy. Biggest shock for me is the elimination of Alex Lambert and the decline of another favorite of mine, Andrew Garcia. If this goes on, Andrew might face the boot sooner rather than later. For the girls, I have only genuinely cast my eyes on Siobhan Magnus, the quirky contestant in American Idol. How boring compare to last year. Contestants last year have definitely set a high standard and from the looks of it, the class of 2010 is not really keeping up with them.

Ah well..life is full of ups and downs. Perhaps this year is the down year. Hopefully, my luck will rise again, so will Liverpool FC.

I'm pretty sure if Fabio Capello knows of my problems now, he would definitely hope England is my sworn enemy.

And through it all, she offers me protection, a lil love and affection

To all women out there, Happy Women's Day!

Apparently every 8th of March is Women's Day (I didnt even know this existed but kudos!) and all the radio stations (at least Fly.Fm) have been promoting today. There was this question, which job is the most unappreciated job for a women? (or it sounded something like that)

Well, I am pretty sure that the first occupation that comes into everyone's mind - Mother. Love or hate them, to me they ranked first in the most unappreciated job for women in the world. Let's face it, without mum's I dont think we would exist. Though the guys are the sperm carriers, we were not formed from an embryo to a foetus in our dad's underwear right? Mothers go through months of hard labour, carrying us around and making sure that we're cozy in her stomach (forgot whats the scientific term for it.)

And that's not even the hardest part of all. The bringing us up is the hardest part of every mums (and dads) in the world. They constantly worry about you - from whether you have eaten or had enough sleep to when was the last time u went for your poo poo. That's when we're kids. When we're at our teenage adult stage, they would have a new set of worries like, education and to me, which road are we heading to, the good and obedient or the rebellious one. A daunting task if you ask me. There's no rest or leisure for these unsung heroines. No wonder women these days do not wanna have kids. However, there is a saying that says something like, you have to have kids at least once to be a whole and complete women. No doubt bout that.

Mothers and fathers play a different role in the family. It has been generations that men is seen to be a leader, be it a nation or a family and the sole breadwinner of the household. And women are there to only take care of the house. Those days are long gone. Women now can not only care for the household, but also earn some income for the family. They make warriors back in the days hide behind their own mummy's skirt.

However, the most important job as a mum, to me is be there for me emotionally and mentally. They are always there when life is so hard and cruel, you can fall back on them. They make a house feel like a sanctuary where you can put aside your frustrations even just for a moment. Furthermore, even if you committed the world's worst crime, and every single living soul on the planet hates you, your mum's love would not waiver. The song 'Angel' by Robbie Williams is the best example of what a mother would do for you. My mum once told me this, "You can rob a bank, you can murder someone, I would still forgive you..but if you come tell me NOW that I am going to be a grandmother, I will disown you straight away." A pretty interesting and less awkward way to teach me on safe sex. And she aint kidding when she meant that she will disown me. haha.

Yea, there are those occasional naggings that a mother would usually give their children. Which mum in the world would not nag? The routine phrase of , "Fold your blanket" , "Study" ,"Tidy your room", "Wash your car" and the list goes on. If you're living on your own, you'll occasionally miss those naggings.

So to your dude and duddettes out there, take care of your mum when they are old.
And to my dear mummy, if you are reading this, though I've broken lots of promises before (that I would clean my room, for example) there is one that I would not break which is to take care of you when you're left with only two genuine front teeth. I love you, mum.

Happy Women's Day to all you pretty ladies out there!

P.S : Happy Women's Dayy to you too my dear baby. Thank you for tolerating my sometimes intolerable attitude and loving me for not only my good sides but my imperfections as well. Love you.

Cause everybody knows that, nobody really knows

There are a few people that I dont like in this world. Not specifically, but generally. One of them is the kiasu type of people. Have never really like them. There is this fella, a dude from my facebook account who scored pretty good results in STPM. How good? 3A's and 1A-. Yea, that good and heck he even came out in the New Straits Times newspaper. Okay, it seems that im heading towards being more specific now than general but what the heck, I love to rant. Even after achieving such results, he said it was unpredictable. I thought thats pretty good, having not predicted your results to be so good..but I was dead wrong. He said he expected to be better. And goes on blabbering bout "how bad my results are" , "how i have dissapointed my parents" and here comes the champion quote, "how I wont get into any local university to study med with this kind of result" . Like dude, are you freaking serious? Come on, you're taking STPM for goodness sake! Perhaps its right that he do not take up the med course because with this kind of attitude, you aint gonna go far. Think of others who do not really score well and imagine thier horror if they happen to stumble upon your unnecessary self-pity.


Which brings me to think, would my kid be that way? would he/she be that kiasu in the future? If it does, Imma gonna give him a tight slap or for the girl, I am just gonna cut of her shopping allowance.

I am never a believer of acedemic education. Yes, I do agree that one have to have good education, good at studies etc etc etc. But will text books bring you far in life? Or will exams decide whether you succeed in life? To me, personally, its no. Being smart at studies is just not enough in life. As an intern now, I realized I only applied 10% of what I learned in the classroom and 90% on what I learn outside of classroom, from high school up to the stage I am in now.

And most of the 90% comes from the time when I was in scouts, clubs and prefects where characters are trained, your attitude are being put straight and where you start to learn how to develope your connections with people who are older than you or with people who have higher post compare to you. All those training and gasak-ing I went through in high school is now beginning to reap its rewards. Now I know why when I was in scout, we must not sleep until we are done building our gadgets or when I serving my duty as a prefect for my school, the seniors (doubt most of them know the reason behind it) pushed us around so much. We definitely can't go to bed until we have finish our work and as newbies or even interns, we'll definitely be pushed around..A LOT. I can go on with this as I have so much to say. All this have made transition from being a student to a working adult so much smoother and it does not feel torturous when you have to go through the working ordeal because I can say, "hey, Ive been through it before. No biggie."

This does not only applied on a specific working field but on every single profession. Imagine the dude up there I mentioned earlier? He might know everything in the books. But when it comes to a sudden real life incident say where, someone was shot in the public or there was a road accident or something unusual happens in the public, outside the operating room. Will he act immediately on instinct or grab a book out of his suitcase and realized there are no guidelines on how to treat a patient outside the operating room, and thus start to tremble and cry for symphaty, like how he did on his results.

It does not matter how smart you are, if your attitude stinks. So will your life.

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter

I am guilty.
I should be hanged.
I have betrayed myself.


I DID NOT UPDATE MY BLOG FOR TWO WEEKS IN A ROW *bam, shot in the head and die*

Bleh. Utter nonsense. Anyways, I admit I breach my vow that I'll update my blog once a week thus, here is a little update, specifically, last night.

Kiatisak Chua: sher: flirting with vendors
Kiatisak Chua: kia flirted with one caucasian vendor
Kiatisak Chua: but he is a guy
Kiatisak Chua: lol
ywen: lol
ywen: normal la
ywen: sei thai kuok lou confused abt his gender and sexuality
ywen: :)
ywen: it happens to most of them
Kiatisak Chua: Kia : FUCK YOU
Kiatisak Chua: SI BUDAK CINA
Kiatisak Chua: KOTE PENDEK
Kiatisak Chua: hahahahahah
ywen: i know im male and dead straight
ywen: do u? :P
Kiatisak Chua: i didnt know ure a male
Kiatisak Chua: at least thats what it hought after 3k inn
Kiatisak Chua: lol
ywen: lol
ywen: nonsense
ywen: im a male and u know it
ywen: ur ass felt the full extent of my powers
ywen: RAWRRRRRRRR
Kiatisak Chua: the girlfriend just screamed out loud "WHAT THE HELL????????????????????"
ywen: lol
Kiatisak Chua: kia went "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
Kiatisak Chua: wth man
Kiatisak Chua: now i know u love anal
ywen: LOL
ywen: ok that came out wrong
Kiatisak Chua: sher lyn gotta learn how to do it d
Kiatisak Chua: lol
ywen: dang
ywen: hahaha
ywen: i didnt mean it that way
Kiatisak Chua: i love the rawr
Kiatisak Chua: so macho
Kiatisak Chua: lol
ywen: haha
ywen: thanks for the compliments :P

Thats how interesting my life has become. flirting with an european guy vendor.
And guys, Yi-Wen aint gay.
He's Bi.

And im just joking with the flirting with the vendor thing. Seriously.

Sometimes love comes around

This is an awesome awesome video! You guys gotta see this video man..the guy is good and the girl is awesome!




P.S : The girl is so cute, adorable and pretty!and not to forget, she has one of the best voice too! seriously, you gotta watch!

#$%#$^^%#$&%^&$%%$&Y%^*^Y%^&*%^&$%^%^*%^&$%&$^&*^%&%^$*%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Im very frus these days. it doesnt help when i cant even open facebook or my inbox on my laptop. Screw it.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much

When I first entered primary school, I was told by my mum that smoking is not good. When I was in early secondary school, smoking to me was un-cool and it was only for those teenagers who wants to show off their "Ah beng" style to attract girls (which until today I think that they do not really work on nice, decent girls). During the later years of my secondary school, smoking was really bad for health to me, thanks to all the ads about the negative side of smoking. Come college, smoking was beginning to look normal to me as everyone around me is smoking but the image of the ads about smoking is still lingering around me to stop me from taking that forbidden puff.

However, as I enter journalism, my perception from smoking being bad is slowly taking its turn to being a normal thing in society. Something so routine that I feel like, drinking a glass of water. What changes me perhaps is my working environment. Almost everyone (I think its only me and Aik Meng as an exception) smokes. Perhaps its the stress they are going through. But the amount of cigarrettes my colleagues puff are unbelievable.

After much deliberating (with myself), I find that I could accept IF (its all in caps, if you do not notice it) I start puffing the forbidden stick.

But, I'll leave that in the future though when I am much much older and I am really into the journalism line, not now. Who knows, by then some scientist somewhere might invent a form of healthy smoke (bubble pipes, anyone?).

For now, as an intern, I shall keep myself satisfied with a cup(maybe two or three) of Nescafe cum Milo from the ever so reliable coffee vending machine whenever I am under stress.
Cheers.

Misconceptions of the 'lonely' songs

[Warning: This will be an emo/whining/sad post. If by reading this, will make you think any lesser of me please do not continue on. If it does not make you feel so, you may continue or if I am already a lesser being to you, you're welcome to indulge in my misery. Thank You.]



How many of you have heard of lonely songs before? I think (and I dare to say) all have, in one form or another.

Now, how many have listened to lonely songs and sometimes feel that its so cliche, tasteless and repetitive? I am pretty sure there would be many (Me included).

Right, how many have listened to it, and feel emo and all those crap just to garner attention (presumably from girils, for the guys perspective)? This I can say, a lot (and again, me included).

So, based on my simple observation, all these sad, romantic, emo, down or whatever you call it songs gets it unfair share of criticism. I mean, the songwriters must have received lots of stick from people for writing sad and miserable feeling songs about breaking up, someone leaving and so on and so forth.

These criticisms actually are not directly directed to the songwriters (I do not know what I really typed in the paragraph before this), it is more directed to those people, who listens to it, and do not really indulge in the song. Instead, they use it to gain attention from their peers or as a tool for hitching up chicks. Its pretty sad when this happens. I know why people do that though, it works at times, especially if you're one heck of a pathetic fella (yes, i admit i was pathetic last time.)

Sometimes, or should I say most of the time, songwriters wrote their songs from what they gone through and it is real. It should not be used as a tool to be emo. You wanna emo, sit a corner by yourself and listen it by yourself. Don't bring others in with your down/sad/miserable looks Respect the songwriter, dude.

Lately, I've been listening to lots of these sad songs. And lots today because the Sultan of Johor passed away (R.I.P your Highness) and Fly.Fm have been playing sad and slow songs a lot today. It made me think while listening to the songs. I can feel what the family members feel. Sad. Same goes to those who lost their beloved love ones in the dragon boat tragedy. Some of the songs can put you in their shoes. It is not hard to put yourself in their shoes. We are all humans. All we need to do is just open up. Think what would they feel, when someone you cared so much, gone forever just like that. Then, you would understand songs like No Promises by Shayne Ward or Like You'll Never See Me Again by Alicia Keys.

No matter how long you are seperated from your loved one, be it a day, a week or a year, you'll feel empty. I know I do. I have to admit something though, sometimes, I do not understand one of my close friend's sadness of her leaving her bf behind, only for 10 weeks and I am here, not gonna meet mine (gf not bf) for atleast another 17 months. Hell, I would trade places with them anytime man. After thinking about it though, it struck me that, I once have to be without my girl for a month, I am even more devastated than that. Perhaps, this is human nature. For them, those 10 weeks might be like 10 months. Though it may sound like a short time to some people, it does not to them. Cause, these two people are in the relationship, not us. So, they know what and how they feel, not us. Same goes to my case. 17 months might be a hell of a long time to me, but, it beats those who has to wait their whole life just to meet their loved ones. Those people are those who lost their loved ones. For some religion, to meet them, you have to wait for your time on this wretched place to stop ticking before you could move on. Sounds like a hell lot worse compare to mine. However, like my close friend's case, you could not take that feeling of seperation from me as to me, it is painstakingly long.

So, I dare to say that, now, I fully grasp the concept of sad love songs. It is what the writer go through and he or she has the gift to put it down in not only pen and paper, but music as well, to tell those outside who are going through the same turbulent emotions, you are not alone.

That concludes my sad emo post, hopefully no more for a forseeable future. This post is one of the few post which i wrote it raw. I do not arrange what I want to write and points might fly everywhere.

The very latest from Petaling Jaya

This is day number 11 (if I am not mistaken) in Malaysia's capital, well sort of. I am in PJ actually. Anyways, I have started my training, together with another comrade(not in terms of football) YAM - Yap Aik Meng. It has been smooth sailing and I must say, I am enjoying my time here. However, nothing is perfect and the downside of this is the parking fees imposed here. I've spent a total of RM50 on parking for the last two days! Gosh.

Apart from that, Malay Mail (an ENGLISH newspaper agency) is actually a very nice place to be at. I was expecting all the hoo -hahs that you'll get from the senior reporters there, all the snobbish looks and yes, a very angry looking-foul mouthed-short tempered editor. This was not the case. People there are very friendly, albeit a few, but majority of them are pretty nice..including the editor.

I must say, I look forward to work everyday as I realised, I learn a lot each passing day. You can't learn some of the stuff here by just sitting down in a classroom in college, you have to come and experience it yourself. Things like, putting your nerves (and balls) together to call some big shot people that you runs one of the biggest company or even politicians.

Just recently I've been to my first press conference and it was an eye opening experience. Though I was a little lost in the process and I did lots of mistake writing the news, it is all part of the learning process. That's what I tell myself. I mean, no one in this world have never failed in their life before right? Some of the most successful people have failed. Donald Trump had failed before, he was almost declared bangkrupt. Bill Gates dropped out of college and look where he is now. Robert Downey Jr had a few miserable years, fighting addiction and look at him now, being the rich flying tin man. Tiger Woods failed in his marriage but bagged almost a dozen of blondes (Amazing) . Yea, so what Im trying to say is, to be successful, you have to fail..minus the part about Tiger Woods.

It looks like its gonna be a gloomy start to the year of the Tiger. Thousands of life have been taken away by the ferocity of mother nature. The Haitian tragedy is another wake up call for the power of mother nature and how much destruction it can bring. Thousands are dead and more are grieving for the lost of thier family members. Closer to home, six have lost their life in a mishap. It feels so surreal that things like this could happen so close to us. I guess I do not need to ellaborate on that. It made me think that life is really really fragile and unpredictable. One moment you can be happily sitting side by side with your family, cracking a joke or two, the next day..you realised that they could be gone. Forever. So it is still not too late to appreciate what we have right now.

Perhaps that is the reason why I'm starting to feel a lil home sick right now though before this, I was coping well. All these tragedy made me think of home. I did not actually bid an actual goodbye to my parents, let alone my brothers. Now, looking at all these tragedies (one of the downside about being a journalism) I really really do miss my family. Cheesy. But it's true. I could hear from the phone calls my mom gave me every evening that she misses me and that my dad is worried about me. However, being the boy that was brought up to show less affection towards parents, I was steadfast except for some moments when I really did say "I miss your nagging" to my mum. And my bros, ahh..I miss the sarcastic remarks my brothers will give me about my room, about how they are better than me in basketball and the time we played football games. Yes Ang Sher Lyn, I do miss home now but I'm still coping well. haha.

Another person I would be missing now, and has always been and whom I considered as part of family as well. Yes, the girl that is thousands of miles away from me in a little state of republic called Taiwan. She recently has cleared one of her biggest issue, which involves her identity. I am happy. I truly am. However, I am also sad that she is not gonna be here..until next year September. I dont know about you guys. Holding my fort until now, which is like around five months, is not an easy task. Not at all. Yes, there are friends and dont get me wrong, they are very important as well and part of a reason why I am still looking forward to some days. But I do have to say, ShinRui, she is at another level. I do not doubt friend's importance like I've said before but..they could not give me what she has given me. I am sure you guys would understand what I mean right? I miss times when we go walking around in the mall. I miss times when we watch movies in the cinema. I miss sitting beside you. I miss putting my hands around your shoulder. I miss the feeling of looking forward to meet you. I miss quarreling with you in real life, not skype, as we can make up easily after every fight. Five months is already so tough, to tell you the truth, I do not know whether I have the strength to go on for at least another 19 months. I do not know what would happen in the future, but this is not a giving up statement. Just some thoughts that has been lingering in my head for quite some time.

And yes, KL seems a lil bit more entertaining, having the crazy monkey dude, Ang Sher Lyn here with me. Glad that you are here! =) We gonna make it through this industrial training aite? Stay strong! It seems weird writing this down here as in aproximately 11 hours, I am gonna meet you again and that you stay less than 200m away. Yi-Wen, dont worry. she misses you alot. haha.

Tomorrow, I am gonna go do some investigative reporting! woots! Wish me luck though that I wont get myself into any trouble. haha.

Btw, the late post is due to my tight schedule now that I have to work, clean my stuff, wash and hang my clothes and bla bla bla..you know the drill.

So hopefully I will be able to post up another one tomorrow! Goodnight peepz!

This Is Something Special For Someone Special

Once upon a time, I came to know of the existence of this girl.

I was playing basketball and there she was, standing by the outside of the court with a book in her hands together with her group of friends.

My first thought, "Man, this girl is a nerd! Studying at a basketball court?"

Then i've got to know her more..She and her group of friends joined the game, with their own version of "basketball".

Oh was I wrong. I was hell wrong that she was a nerd.

We started to go out and know more of each other.

My perception of her changed soon after.

"She aint a nerd. She's a fighter."

We became an item soon after.

We had happy times, we had bad times but oh those were great times.

Sadly, she has to leave to some where far to pursue her dream to be a doctor.

It has been a few long months since she left..she has been facing plenty of challenge of late.

She has been stressed out to the max.

So this here, is to tell you, my love,

Hang on there!I believe you can make it through no matter how big the odds are.

I believe you can make it through because you are a fighter and, its cause you're my girl as well =p

I'll be here always if you need me.

I love you..always!

Return Of The Pitches!

The time is here again, where million of people (in America) would be stuck to their couch with their eyes glued on the technological box we call the television with telephones or mobile phones in their hands. Yes, its that time of the year again. The American Idol season is back!They are now into their ninth season.

This time, things will be different. The Idols are going through one of their biggest change in their history (i guess) which is the departure of the "vocab-rich" Paula Abdul. Yup, she aint there anymore. Unfortunately for the contestants for season 9, that means there won't be anymore nice comments that would soften any hard comments dished out by Randy and Simon especially, and I doubt Kara could fit into Paula's shoes. And, the judge allegedly(or confirmed) replacing Paula would be Ellen Degeneres! Like wha? Ellen? The dancing talk show host? That would be...just awesome i guess? Imagine, apart from having comments on your singing, you might have some jokes or puns thrown at your singing! For the contestants with difficulties or those who are facing some personal issues might get help from the show as well! And to top it all off, the live audiences might even get freebies at the end of the show! Aint that cool?

Truth is, the Idol is reaching its last stage. It does not really have the "oomph" anymore that can attract the audiences. To me, if it is not for Adam Lambert last season, I would not really turn on the tube and sit through the painful hour (sometimes 2) to watch the show. Yes, I have to admit, there are some great performances like Kris Allen's rendition of Heartless and Danny Gokey's You Are So Beautiful just to name a few, but seriously, would you like to watch a finale between Kris and Danny? Not that they are bad singers but they are just...boring. Yes, Adam might be over the top sometimes but isn't that what performances are all about? No, I am not being bias for your infomation. Just watch the marathon of season 8 on Astro again and imagine Adam is not there. And another thing, last season top 12 have stepped up the standard and it would be really hard for the contestants this season to break that standard.

Simon would be leaving after this season. Yes. The man who has been in a way, the backbone of the show, is leaving the show. So I guess I do not need to elaborate on his importance for Idol. Without his witty sarcasm, the panel of judges would be just too...dull?yea, the show is about the contestants, but Im pretty sure everyone, and I mean everyone would wait and anticipate the response of the judges right?Especially those of Mr. Cowell. I guess the thought of having Ellen and freegifts for the audiences would be pretty enticing now, no?haha

Thus, American Idol is heading into its last few steps then, they will fade away. Hopefully, this season the contestants would be better than last year though I do not put much hope in it. And sadly, I would not be able to watch it due to my internship in KL =(