Call it a product of procrastination but hey, old habits die hard right..?and the worst part is that I don't see it changing anytime this year 2009. If it does then it's a miracle and well, miracle don't chance upon me very often.
I'm actually still pretty stuck up in year 2008, I don't know why I just couldn't really let go of it yet. Perhaps..just perhaps it's incomplete..my year is just incomplete without having you around me.
I was having a random chat with one of my close friend, G.Well,G suddenly asked me this question, "ever wonder if X and SR are the right choice for us?". All i thought of was the problem we had before she left but not what if...what if one day the big guy up there decides to take your loved one away from you?or maybe he/she is too good for you?It struck a chord in my head and the thought is still running through my head,keeping me awake till now. Am i good enough for her? Will i find another girl like her again?
How ones loyalty and feelings waver to another so easily really amuse me sometimes..especially when it comes to the relationship part.I mean what is the use of being together when you are out chasing other girls at the same time?(generally,not towards anyone). I know you are not tied down or anything but where is the sincerity and say-it-like-you-mean-it when you say I Love You?I don't mean that im a perfect example of boyfriend because I am not but one thing for sure when I am in a relationship her,feelings or loyalty have not wavered..and it's not because itz for the sake of the relationship but I just mean it. I do not enjoy playing with anyone feelings and see them sad. In another word, I am not a sadistic.
It's been 12 days since she went away and i miss her every second. Yea i know 12 days are short but to me it feels like eternity. Cliche you might say?Not unless if you're in love.But days do come and nights do past..im doing my very best to channel everything into doing something else and wait for her till she comes back.
Keep myself busy.
That's what i gotta do..
It's been awhile since i let my fingers run through the keyboard with my mind saying out every single stuff im saying now without having any second thoughts on it and it might sound very cheesy to almost all of you..i gotta get it out somehow..
oh well..i guess i should use this advantage to finish my other half of resolutions..late is better than never..
till the next chapter..
chaozzzzzzz..
one more thing..the answer is no.
i WON'T be able to find another girl like you anymore,Ng Shin Rui..
i love you!
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