Chapter 12 - New Month Ahead

I've not been fulfilling my own personal target by blogging as oftenly as i want to..my writting skills is getting really rusty and same goes to my speaking skills..

Today,a friend of mine just lost his grandfather,my condolences to him..although we're not close but the feeling of losing someone that is close to you is similar to everyone no matter how different is the aspect of it..i know how it feels, although mine in my opinion is few times worse which is living in a constant fear of losing that someone..

I admire those people who could just take it up and let it go whenever and wherever they want..take for example..there is this stranger that i get to know through a relative of mine..he could just jump from one ship to another..when i said ship i mean relationship..i dun admire the way he does it..but i do admire how he could just let everything go, like nothing have ever happened before, like there is no responsibility..not only in this aspect but in others as well..i wonder if he ever feel guilty or anything, itz like he is cold blooded or emotionless..it might sound freaky but i really wanna try feeling it once..being kept numb away from everything..emotions,thoughts and sanity is now making my life quite miserable..yes physically i couldnt compare to those who are suffering from the war torn countries but mentally i think im at the same level as them..they indulge in vengence and hatred wherelse mine, everything (minus vengence and hatred)

But...what are the consequences of me changing to a cold blooded crazy psycho?all the things that i have live for will change..beliefs,principles and maybe even friends and family..i have plenty hanging on that..i couldnt and am not ready to lose any of that now..so now,im back to square one,sitting down here fearing of losing someone important..im always wondering where is the silver lining to all this prob..*you could come out now silver..i need a break*

till the next lame and emo chapter..
chaozzzzzz

*hanging on real tight*

Chapter 11 - The Magic Number 7

Today is exactly the 7th month we're together; 7 months of hardship,adapting and most importantly being together and in love with you!

I'll let the pics tell the stories..a pic are a worth a thousand words right?hehe..
The first pic u took of me!

I remembered u saying..
"Cant you open your eyes and smile!" lol..

Our first official date together......
in KFC! XD

In BM for the St Anne celebration!
On the way to Jusco BM..haha..

Bon odori!

The interview in E&O hotel =)

Some random pic..=D
Making good use of the webcam in Inti XP

More random pics..haha..
and more...The unsuprised birthday celebration!
baby's 18th birthday..hehe..

The Suprised party!thanks to everyone there!
*especially miss Karen Lim =)*
Suprise!=B
Off the record..this is me and her bro..
this is us waiting for the girls to shop..haha..

and next....

A visit to the Big Apple!
lol...just kidding ler..itz just some where in Malaysia..
anyone can guess it? =D
cozy cozy =p


Our First Prom!
that night we're officially not virgins for prom!

That night..
we danced hand in hand like there was no tomorrow..
it was such a great feeling..
all hail those who created prom and dance..lolz!

During Xmas eve..the last pic we took before she went to taiwan..
but surely it wun be the last..

We're 7 months old together and though there's been highs and really really low lows..we're still together..

James A.Baldwin once said..
" Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up."

and grew i did..
I Love you Ng ShinRui and that's all i need to know =)

till the next chapter..
chaozzzz!

Bless everyone in the world with love!

Ads : Tag by Vanitha

1. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend or girlfriend smokes?
Yes it does. I hate smokers

2. How about drinking?

I don't mind as long as she isn't an alcoholic

3. Do you like someone you can't have?
Hmm...im not that sure coz i already have her =)

4. If someone like you right now, would you want them to tell you?

well..it depends..

5. What's your favourite sport?

Basketball, Football and badminton

6. It's Saturday night, you're home alone. What do you do?

I'd be on the phone with my baby!

7. Do you like roller coasters?

After last year, of course!

8. When's the perfect time to have a bf/gf?

You can't measure the exact time for it..just like how you can't measure a dream.

9. If you could date any celebrity, who would it be?

Ermm...currently my only celeb is my gf XD

10. What are you doing this weekend?

Working on sat and spending time at home on sun..

11. What's your favourite restaurant?

Anything that serves food that satisfy me..

12. Have you ever hugged someone?

Yeap

13. Ever kissed someone you weren't attracted to?

Nope

14. Do you like anyone right now?

There are no words to describe how is my feelings for her..

15. What is the first thing you noticed about the opposite sex?

Everything

16. Which do you prefer - beach or mountains?

Seaside

17. What kind of phone do you have?

Some Motorola phone

18. Computer or laptop?

Laptop

19. Jeans or sweats?

Jeans

20. Which year has been the best so far?

Year 2008..as cliche as it may sound,it's the best because of her =)

21. How old are you gonna be on your next birthday?

18 + 1

22. What should you be doing right now?

My Malaysia Studies assignment (Vanitha, if i cnt finish i will blmae you =P)

23. What is your favorite TV show?

One Tree Hill (The best!)

24. What's been your last purchase?

Digi reload card

25. Are you attracted to girls/boys that smoke?

Look at number 1

26. Have you ever fallen on your butt in front of a crowd of people?

Let's just say..im a klutz sometimes..

27. What do you do when you're at home?

Laze and dream

28. What is your favourite subject?

English.

29. What is the best thing that ever happened to you?

Having Ng ShinRui in my life, my family and friends..

30. Ten person to tag.

BabyStingray
Cyen
Eiven
Yi-wen

Sher Lyn
Razeen
Chammaine
Siew Mon
Mei Wan
Fragrance

Directions: Once you've been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave a comment "You're tagged!" and you can't tag the person who tagged you.

1.I procrastinate alot
2.I love my Girlfriend alot
3.I am a supporter of Liverpool Football Club
4.I think Alex Ferguson is always punched in the nose by his wife..he has a purple nose
5.I love songs
6.I love writing sometimes..especially when i have some ideas on what to write about
7.I lack creativity
8.I hate politicians
9.I wanna be in PR but im afraid im not cut out to be in that field
10.I would love to travel around the world
11.I want to grow taller
12.I need to start doing my MS assignment
13.I need this Tag to be done quick
14.Read num 13
15.Read num 14
16.I am glad =D

I tag these people because...
BabyStingray-Because i love you!
Cyen -Because you never did my tag before (i think)
Eiven - Because i never tag you before
Yi-wen - Because i spelt your name correctly

Sher Lyn - Because you're my baboon
Razeen - Because you're my lastest addition to my blog =P
Chammaine - Because me and Vanitha couldnt make it earlier to your school..
Siew Mon - Because you criticize that i plurk too much..haha..
Mei Wan - Because you're ah ma and you're old..so need to let you exercise a bit XD
Fragrance - Because you're good at doing tags =D

Chapter 10 - Still Alive

After one whole week of studying and working..im still pretty much alive..i have not lagged any sleep, i have not been any less concentrated in class..yea,so im doing quite well..much have to be boiled down to the short sem im going through right now..im only gonna take Malaysian Studies and Moral for this sem..and each day..i have like an average of 2 to 3 hours in college,so i pretty much can cope with it..this is much easier than high school..lol..

So right..college just started on monday..and truth to be told,i dun look forward to taking these two subjects..i mean..who wants to learn bout History ever again (scar from SPM) especially politics (totally not a fan of politics..find politicians very pathetic and childish at times) and not to forget..going back to the same concepts of read and memorizing part of moral..just that this time there is more and itz harder...thank goodness for Han Chiang..they chose the right lecturers (except for KCS) to teach these two dreaded subjects..

I especially find Mr Eric to be pretty fun and crazy..his class is well..fun and crazy..lol..he has all this kind of stories which can totally open up your perception on alot of the general things in our life like religion and etc etc..after his class,i really think he can start a cult called, ERICOLOGY..he is the type of person that i will really listen to..whatever teachings he does..it seriously does have a strong sense of logic in it..like when he said, "it's very sad these days that people turn religion in to a business"..that is something very true,but im sure not all of us notice it right?he even did juggling to teach the class..lol..

well i guess that is all for this chapter..
till the next chapter..
chaozzz!

it wasnt alright at first..
but on second thought..
im okay with it!

Chapter 9 - Make or Break

This year will either make me or break me..if i were to make the predictions on whether i will make or break, i will,based on all the past experiences..go for break me..

Im not being pessimistic..okay well yea im sort of being a pessimistic in a way..but with the looks on how things goees in the past..i always make the wrong choices,not all but mostly..I have to choose which i would wanna major in after this sem of mine..and im still sitting on the fence for either PR or Journalism..many people would jump at the chance of taking PR but sadly if your name is Kiatisak Chua, you would have to think hard..think really really hard cause i actually do not have the most creative minds around you see..and my arts and designs......dun let me start there..on the other hand..im pretty good at news writting..but i seriously do not wanna enter journalism..i duno why..itz just not my thing..im afraid i would not do well in the later stage due to zero percent of interest in it..i need a counsellor for this prob..but who??and i need someone to fund me to further my studies abroad if my college doesnt have any links with any local U..so like i've say..this year pretty much decide what my future gonna be..sighh..

as usual..i start the year with high enthuasism that things will finally turn out great..and as usual as well..early expectations always dissapoint me..things are slowly but surely turning sour in every aspect..it has always been like this for since god knows when..sigh..i know i should count my blessings but each of us do have our own dissastisfaction rite?who doesnt?

i think as i grow every year,my luck pretty much dwindle away with it..just great..and to make things worse..though i never say it out often i've always felt insufficient in lotz of things and in lotz of aspect..brains, trust,confidence,talents..securities..the list just goes on..and all i got is just more negative elements compare to positives one..

im hanging in there everyday wit the little positive left in me..im not gonna sit down n cry..im just gonna drag my ass out of this hole..

till the next chapter..
chaozzzz

Chapter 8 - The things that we do

We're very "kaypo" bout other people's business..we're more concerned with other country's prob when our very own country is not doing well..tsk tsk..i mean it's alrite and cool that we show our symphaty and compassion and etc etc to those in palestinian..but not to the extreme extend..this will just complicate stuff and it totally doesnt help our country's growth..i mean i totally feel for those in palestinian and itz good that we send some aids there..but not too over..

We,Malaysians have this mindset of looking at the big picture and sweeping all the small and petty problems away..not only politicians but almost everyone i know is like that..take for example..the government wants Malaysia to be a developed country but how can we be one when almost every traffic light for the pedestrian crossing is either vandalized or never been repaired...just yesterday as i was going to work i saw a couple of tourist pondering whether they should cross the road or not when the button for the traffic light is vandalized.. they even used the pen to try press in the thing but itz never gonna work..then they just shake their head in some sort of disbelief way and just use their instinct to cross the heavy traffic road..i mean..is this our way of being a developed country?i felt ashamed..

oh well..this is just a very random rambling..

to a brighter note..I FINALLY GOT THE EMAIL REPLY FROM ME LOVE!!!!
end up i couldnt sleep at all for the whole nite...lol..
next, i'll be waiting for you to come back to Penang!hehe..

till the next chapter..
chaozzzz

Chapter 7 - Ice cream Tips and Wars

Guess what?
i got tips of a total RM 10 today!well roughly around RM10 ler..well for some of you it might not be alot but hey..where u gonna get RM10 for just being polite and nice?and to top it all..itz weekdays and usually weekday they do not have alot of customers and to get RM10 is good..well..i guess it all boils down to me not wearing specs..seriously, i wore specs for the first few days of work i dun even collect RM10 of tips..but now without specs..i got RM10 in jsut a day!curses specs..lol..oh well..anyway the downside is...i have to give the tips back to the cashier =( haha...

im actually quite scared tht i'll turn into an obese guy(yes laugh sher lyn..laugh)..been eating lotz of ice cream since i worked in Haagen Dazs..take for example today..i've sampled practically every flavour there is in the store..TWICE! and some thrice...not only tht..i've been eating all the cookies and marshmallows tht are lying there waiting for someone to eat em..so i..*nibble nibble* then *munch munch* then *sit, burp* =D
of course i dun take gaji buta..i work also k..hahah..

well..comes a sadder note is the WAR that is happening between the Israelis and Palestinians..its really really sad to see that so many innocent children died because of this war..poor souls..but that doesnt mean other palestinians should run riot in another country thats so far away like france (see how they overturn the cars?)

know what should they do?they should just sit down and have haagen dazs ice cream =) ice cream is a magic tool tht cools people down..especially haagen dazs..so if everyone sits at haagen dazs and eats ice cream all day..we can promote world peace..the worst you can get is brain freeze or tooth decay..itz much better than grenades and machine guns right?

im a good promoter, no?=P

till the next chapter..
chaozzzz!!

Chapter 6 - Condolences

All my heart goes out to John Trovolta and his family whose son, Jett Trovolta just passed away recently..This song is specially dedicated to John's family..





Life's too short..appreciate and love it..

Chapter 5 -Day 5 into New Year

...im still stuck halfway with my new year resolution list.

Call it a product of procrastination but hey, old habits die hard right..?and the worst part is that I don't see it changing anytime this year 2009. If it does then it's a miracle and well, miracle don't chance upon me very often.

I'm actually still pretty stuck up in year 2008, I don't know why I just couldn't really let go of it yet. Perhaps..just perhaps it's incomplete..my year is just incomplete without having you around me.

I was having a random chat with one of my close friend, G.Well,G suddenly asked me this question, "ever wonder if X and SR are the right choice for us?". All i thought of was the problem we had before she left but not what if...what if one day the big guy up there decides to take your loved one away from you?or maybe he/she is too good for you?It struck a chord in my head and the thought is still running through my head,keeping me awake till now. Am i good enough for her? Will i find another girl like her again?

How ones loyalty and feelings waver to another so easily really amuse me sometimes..especially when it comes to the relationship part.I mean what is the use of being together when you are out chasing other girls at the same time?(generally,not towards anyone). I know you are not tied down or anything but where is the sincerity and say-it-like-you-mean-it when you say I Love You?I don't mean that im a perfect example of boyfriend because I am not but one thing for sure when I am in a relationship her,feelings or loyalty have not wavered..and it's not because itz for the sake of the relationship but I just mean it. I do not enjoy playing with anyone feelings and see them sad. In another word, I am not a sadistic.

It's been 12 days since she went away and i miss her every second. Yea i know 12 days are short but to me it feels like eternity. Cliche you might say?Not unless if you're in love.But days do come and nights do past..im doing my very best to channel everything into doing something else and wait for her till she comes back.

Keep myself busy.
That's what i gotta do..

It's been awhile since i let my fingers run through the keyboard with my mind saying out every single stuff im saying now without having any second thoughts on it and it might sound very cheesy to almost all of you..i gotta get it out somehow..

oh well..i guess i should use this advantage to finish my other half of resolutions..late is better than never..

till the next chapter..
chaozzzzzzz..



one more thing..the answer is no.
i WON'T be able to find another girl like you anymore,Ng Shin Rui..
i love you!

Chapter 4 - Work

I started work at Haagen Daz yesterday and boy..did it started bad..i lost the freaking cap!thanks to chong yen who keeps playing with it..hahah..thank goodness for the supervisor..she has like extra i think..whatever izzit..im really lucky that nothing bad happened on the first day..

Yi-wen was right..it is not easy working there..lotz of things to do..dun think it looks small and you have less job to do...looks can be deceiving..really deceiving..haha..oh well..this wasnt the bad part..the bad or should i say the worst part bout all tht is i can only see and serve the ice cream!=( lol..hopefully i'll get used to it soon before i started turning berserk and start eating all the ice cream and fondue and and.....okay im just crapping crap here...

anyway..there was this couple who ordered fondue..and i guess the girl was upset with the guy or something like tht..so right, they ordered the fondue and i served them..and for the next freaking 20 mins,they didnt even touch the freaking fondue!!wtsweetheck man!the ice cream balls which can be easily worth rm20!and thank goodness..sanity struck the guy so he just slowly eat up..we workers sort of serve and watch at the same time..and the girl started to eat and thank goodness it did not go to waste..rm63.80 man..

nothing much happened ler..saw lotz of ppl but they dun really recognise me in the cap..haha..oh well..it was an eventful first day at work at the service line..haha..

apart from that i guess nothing much happened ler..unless you want me to blog bout how much i miss my girlfriend..
i guess not..XD

so till the next chapter..
chaozzzz!!