When you're dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part

Have you, in your life ever felt that you have improved?
I have. Not that I'm praising myself or even boasting, but I do feel that I have change and improved, one way or another.

I just got back recently from my training in Malay Mail which is quite an eye opening experience. I've received more exposure than I thought which is very good. However, you have to have the attitude to do something.

I once did not have that kind of attitude at all but things slowly but surely change during my time in high school up to college. The attitude of not giving up, finishing what you have started and be willing to take anything that comes your way. Not many people is born with that kind of characteristics. I know I am not. As a matter of fact, I was a mommy's boy, a lazy fella (well, still is in some aspects) and I do not finish what I started. Put things in a simple way, I was immature.

Things change when I started going back to high school where I was expose to many things. I had inspiring seniors, who led by example. Though they may be a pain the ass and sometimes I despised them, but as time passes by I realised that whatever they have done for or on us, its for our own good. From there, I felt like I have built my character. The art of communicating with people. So far it has worked wonders for me.

I remember back in form 2 when I was a leader for my patrol in scout group, I thought I was leading very well. In truth there were no communication between me and the members. There were groups..its like a mutiny was gonna happen but thank goodness it did not. haha. From there, I saw what went wrong and I managed to change and realised, I was terrible..really really bad back then.

Peer pressure is the other reason I improved. I was the last minute kind of guy..as in really last minute but there is this chunky monkey (yes you know who you are) who is so punctual that sometimes I feel it went up to the point of overdoing it. But hey, thats her and it worked well for this chunky monkey so I have to take my hats off that. So I kinda improved a lil bit from the time management thingy and try to get things done as soon as possible rahter than procrastinating. Personally, it felt good, finishing things up before the deadline..though some may say that doing things last minute may help enchance their work.

I have not only change in terms of work. But on how I view relationships. From the typical messaging everyday with your high school crushes to a mature relationship. However, one thing do not change in a relationship that both parties must communicate with each other, in any way possible. A relationship could not last by just trusting each other etc etc..we're not living in the past anymore where the man (whose ego is as high as the sky) do not communicate with their partners and the relationship could just work out. Things are very different now. We need sparks. We do not wanna be boring. Look at the westerners (not that I want to glorify them), they communicate. No doubt their divorce rates are high, but I still like their way. Bleh, cheesy.

Anyhows, I feel like I've made the right changes in life. Have you?

A letter to Dad

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes t! o the fa ct that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science finds a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John


PS. Dad, none of the above is true.. I'm over at Tommy's house.

I just wanted to remind you there are worse things in life than the Report Card in my desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home, your Son



Ive got this somewhere, real hilarious.

So yeah, we're going down

This is one of those years where, whatever team or personnel I am supporting will not win or will not do well at all.

Liverpool FC (Yes all you Manure fans out there, laugh it all out..plus the one specific Hotspurs fan) and Alex Lambert are two of the best examples.

One, being dubbed as the title contender this year has falter terribly, instead of fighting for honours and title, the Reds are left to slug it out for Champions League spot - where they are currently in danger of even not qualifying for it. Another one, a contestant in the new (and boring, compared to last year) season of American Idol who has a unique and distinct voice that would win over millions - but sadly it was not the case on Thrusday night where he was eliminated instead of Tim Urban, a guy who totally decimated 'Apologize' though he has improved considerably. Then again, Alex Lambert totally have my vote.

Having had one of the best season last year, Liverpool this year has totally turn it around- for the worse as they now have to slug it out against teams like Hotspurs, Villa and Man City when we should be challenging teams like Chelsea and Barcelona for glory.

It bemuses me how a team can fall from grace out of a sudden and nothing much has changed last season compare to teams like like Manure, who sold their star player, Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid and only took in Gabriel Obertan, a youngster and Michael Owen on a free while we sold our player of the season Xabi Alonso and defender Arbeloa to the Spanish side. We got a right back at 17 million and a crocked Italian for an estimated fee of 20 million (though it depends on appearance). But performance wise, Man united have been heads and shoulders above us although we beat them the last time we met.

Its all going down hill for the red side of Merseyside now and I am fast losing hope on Rafa Benitez and his claims of achieving top 4 spot this season. I am preparing myself for the worse, the taunts of opposing fans and worse, the departure of several star players like Torres. I will still keep my faith in Rafa as the manager but the latest results, a 1-0 defeat to Lille, things are looking gloomier than ever.

For American Idol, oh boy. Biggest shock for me is the elimination of Alex Lambert and the decline of another favorite of mine, Andrew Garcia. If this goes on, Andrew might face the boot sooner rather than later. For the girls, I have only genuinely cast my eyes on Siobhan Magnus, the quirky contestant in American Idol. How boring compare to last year. Contestants last year have definitely set a high standard and from the looks of it, the class of 2010 is not really keeping up with them.

Ah well..life is full of ups and downs. Perhaps this year is the down year. Hopefully, my luck will rise again, so will Liverpool FC.

I'm pretty sure if Fabio Capello knows of my problems now, he would definitely hope England is my sworn enemy.

And through it all, she offers me protection, a lil love and affection

To all women out there, Happy Women's Day!

Apparently every 8th of March is Women's Day (I didnt even know this existed but kudos!) and all the radio stations (at least Fly.Fm) have been promoting today. There was this question, which job is the most unappreciated job for a women? (or it sounded something like that)

Well, I am pretty sure that the first occupation that comes into everyone's mind - Mother. Love or hate them, to me they ranked first in the most unappreciated job for women in the world. Let's face it, without mum's I dont think we would exist. Though the guys are the sperm carriers, we were not formed from an embryo to a foetus in our dad's underwear right? Mothers go through months of hard labour, carrying us around and making sure that we're cozy in her stomach (forgot whats the scientific term for it.)

And that's not even the hardest part of all. The bringing us up is the hardest part of every mums (and dads) in the world. They constantly worry about you - from whether you have eaten or had enough sleep to when was the last time u went for your poo poo. That's when we're kids. When we're at our teenage adult stage, they would have a new set of worries like, education and to me, which road are we heading to, the good and obedient or the rebellious one. A daunting task if you ask me. There's no rest or leisure for these unsung heroines. No wonder women these days do not wanna have kids. However, there is a saying that says something like, you have to have kids at least once to be a whole and complete women. No doubt bout that.

Mothers and fathers play a different role in the family. It has been generations that men is seen to be a leader, be it a nation or a family and the sole breadwinner of the household. And women are there to only take care of the house. Those days are long gone. Women now can not only care for the household, but also earn some income for the family. They make warriors back in the days hide behind their own mummy's skirt.

However, the most important job as a mum, to me is be there for me emotionally and mentally. They are always there when life is so hard and cruel, you can fall back on them. They make a house feel like a sanctuary where you can put aside your frustrations even just for a moment. Furthermore, even if you committed the world's worst crime, and every single living soul on the planet hates you, your mum's love would not waiver. The song 'Angel' by Robbie Williams is the best example of what a mother would do for you. My mum once told me this, "You can rob a bank, you can murder someone, I would still forgive you..but if you come tell me NOW that I am going to be a grandmother, I will disown you straight away." A pretty interesting and less awkward way to teach me on safe sex. And she aint kidding when she meant that she will disown me. haha.

Yea, there are those occasional naggings that a mother would usually give their children. Which mum in the world would not nag? The routine phrase of , "Fold your blanket" , "Study" ,"Tidy your room", "Wash your car" and the list goes on. If you're living on your own, you'll occasionally miss those naggings.

So to your dude and duddettes out there, take care of your mum when they are old.
And to my dear mummy, if you are reading this, though I've broken lots of promises before (that I would clean my room, for example) there is one that I would not break which is to take care of you when you're left with only two genuine front teeth. I love you, mum.

Happy Women's Day to all you pretty ladies out there!

P.S : Happy Women's Dayy to you too my dear baby. Thank you for tolerating my sometimes intolerable attitude and loving me for not only my good sides but my imperfections as well. Love you.

Cause everybody knows that, nobody really knows

There are a few people that I dont like in this world. Not specifically, but generally. One of them is the kiasu type of people. Have never really like them. There is this fella, a dude from my facebook account who scored pretty good results in STPM. How good? 3A's and 1A-. Yea, that good and heck he even came out in the New Straits Times newspaper. Okay, it seems that im heading towards being more specific now than general but what the heck, I love to rant. Even after achieving such results, he said it was unpredictable. I thought thats pretty good, having not predicted your results to be so good..but I was dead wrong. He said he expected to be better. And goes on blabbering bout "how bad my results are" , "how i have dissapointed my parents" and here comes the champion quote, "how I wont get into any local university to study med with this kind of result" . Like dude, are you freaking serious? Come on, you're taking STPM for goodness sake! Perhaps its right that he do not take up the med course because with this kind of attitude, you aint gonna go far. Think of others who do not really score well and imagine thier horror if they happen to stumble upon your unnecessary self-pity.


Which brings me to think, would my kid be that way? would he/she be that kiasu in the future? If it does, Imma gonna give him a tight slap or for the girl, I am just gonna cut of her shopping allowance.

I am never a believer of acedemic education. Yes, I do agree that one have to have good education, good at studies etc etc etc. But will text books bring you far in life? Or will exams decide whether you succeed in life? To me, personally, its no. Being smart at studies is just not enough in life. As an intern now, I realized I only applied 10% of what I learned in the classroom and 90% on what I learn outside of classroom, from high school up to the stage I am in now.

And most of the 90% comes from the time when I was in scouts, clubs and prefects where characters are trained, your attitude are being put straight and where you start to learn how to develope your connections with people who are older than you or with people who have higher post compare to you. All those training and gasak-ing I went through in high school is now beginning to reap its rewards. Now I know why when I was in scout, we must not sleep until we are done building our gadgets or when I serving my duty as a prefect for my school, the seniors (doubt most of them know the reason behind it) pushed us around so much. We definitely can't go to bed until we have finish our work and as newbies or even interns, we'll definitely be pushed around..A LOT. I can go on with this as I have so much to say. All this have made transition from being a student to a working adult so much smoother and it does not feel torturous when you have to go through the working ordeal because I can say, "hey, Ive been through it before. No biggie."

This does not only applied on a specific working field but on every single profession. Imagine the dude up there I mentioned earlier? He might know everything in the books. But when it comes to a sudden real life incident say where, someone was shot in the public or there was a road accident or something unusual happens in the public, outside the operating room. Will he act immediately on instinct or grab a book out of his suitcase and realized there are no guidelines on how to treat a patient outside the operating room, and thus start to tremble and cry for symphaty, like how he did on his results.

It does not matter how smart you are, if your attitude stinks. So will your life.