Vow That I Made

2011-05-22T10:30:00.000-07:00

The place is cold and lonely

2010-11-03T10:03:00.000-07:00

Please.

Just tell me what do you want me to do. Don't keep me hanging.

I am begging you.

You do not know how much it hurts being here.

Self confident issues at helm with sinking ship temporary steadied.

2010-10-11T09:16:00.000-07:00

I constantly have this niggling feeling that I am always not good enough for the newspaper industry as I have always been quite bad at using flowery words. Plus, my grammatical mistakes are aplenty.

I forgot that I am only 20 sometimes and I often thought of myself as an adult. I mean, it aint easy working for a newspaper organisation. Not many 20 year olds can make it to where I am (I am certainly not boasting). So this mean, extra pressure which is unnecessary most of the time. I always try not to screw up and try to be as perfect as possible. But what did not cross my mind was that to learn is to make mistakes.

Another factor why I feel I am not up to par is because of that nervousness whenever I need to interview someone, even to people I know! I did tons of interviews before (including my time in KL for my training) and one would expect me to be a seasoned veteran or at least not be nervous or have the butterfly-in-the-stomach kind of feeling, but I always do! It seems that I could not put the experiences I have to good use. Sigh sigh sigh.

Thank goodness, I have heard stories from seniors and older people that it takes time to fit in. It is a comforting thought that I am still 20 and have much to learn but I do not wanna take that as a reason. I mean, I can't be 20 forever and Ive gotta start looking for ways to get rid of this problem. Ive got a headstart now and I intend to make the best out of it but at times I wonder, can I really make it?

I have always like to be special. Probably it's a Gemini trait. Now, I feel special with the what I have achieved so far (albeit not too big of an achievement). I know I can't rest on my laurels now and have to be constantly on my toes.

Next up on the list is personal life.

I've steadied by leaking ship but there are still chances that it will turn out to be the next Titanic. Time is probably what I need the most now together with support to plug the hole of this shinking ship. However, with the progress I am making now, I will probably arrive at the port in no time.

I hate it when people judge blindlessly.

Something has change within me, something is not the same

2010-05-16T01:36:00.000-07:00

I see myself as someone with low ambitions. Why? Because I care too much. I always care about what people think and feel, from the time I was small, at least towards the people that matters to me. Plus, I have a sensitive nature, so it adds that that I-care-a lot-about-what-people-think-attitude. Initially, I thought being sensitive is a good thing. I mean now out of the 3 closest friend I have, 2 of them are girls. I do not have high ego, I do not like confrontation though I do not bow down easily when I know I am right.

Then again, if that person is important to me, I will somehow, one way or another give in.

I have my many fair share of experiences when it comes to being influenced (either directly or indirectly) in making decisions. If they show a tiny sense of dissatisfaction or dislike, my mind would set into an auto-pilot mode, searching for other alternatives or preparing myself for disappointment. That's pretty much who I am and what I have been for as long as I could remember. Sometimes I wonder how other guys could be..selfish? Guys at my age, a lot of them can act without thinking. Just go as they like..go with the flow and live life without any stress or burden.

I think I am a softie inside. (ewww?)

How I wish I could be in their shoes. Living the life in the early twenties. I mean, we get to be 20 only once and with the rate I am going now, I feel like I am 30 years old. I always have worry, burden, emotionally unstable and so on and so forth. That's what mostly girls would feel. I need more guy friends. I need to immerse myself into a guy's world. Because my problem has just gotten worse especially in the past few months. Everyday just feels so heavy for me.

Probably I should drink more, smoke some pot or things like that. Hey, my mum once said to me, you're 20 now and at this age, its your time to go haywire. Just dont go make a girl pregnant.

Hmmm. Probably I should take a cue from my mom, go haywire and have the teenage-drunkard-stoning-attitude who when you say something, all he could reply is "worddd" . lol.

Hum hum hum hum hum

2010-05-09T01:27:00.000-07:00

people say, if you're not hapy at something. You either get rid of it or stay away from it. But anyone in this world, could you please explain to me why I could not do either of those two things now?

Its pretty dreadful here. Man, I wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel soon. God, angels, or fairy godmothers, I need a solution now.

I. Am. Desperate.
lol.

Now I aint saying she a gold digger

2010-05-03T02:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am pretty sure most of you here are aware of the Aminulrasyid Amzah's case. Many (or should I say most) of you out there are faulting the police for killing the 15 year old kid, who drove illegally in the middle of the night, was part of an accident and eventually leading to the car chase. Now, is it me or is the public forgetting the fact that the kid is driving illegally and did not stop when the cop warned him to pull up at the side?

Many critics have said that the whole thing has been covered up and that the authorities are making up their own stories and evidence. However, what prove do these critics have? Were they on the scene of the crime then? The fact is, the kid went out in the middle of the night at 2am, drove the car out illegally and was spotted by the cop. No offense to the parents, instead of blaming the cops for their son's death, why not look at themselves first?

If you were a cop, and the car that you have signalled to pull over suddenly sped off. What will your reaction be? They gave chase and it is alleged that the kid tried to run down the cops as well. Plus, the area is prone to many robbery cases so if I were the cop, I would have used my gun as well. Not only that, it might have caused further accidents which will result in possible fatalities to the innocent ones. What happen if someone wanted to cross the road during the car chase? He/she will get knocked down. Or some innocent motorist going home after a long night shift? So much is at staked and you dont expect the police to let all that happen right?

No, I am not siding the cops. I am looking at the neutral point of view where I take everything into consideration. All those rumours bout the cover ups, they are just rumours, not hard facts. It is a wonder those people who created the facebook group that goes 'justice to aminulrasyid' etc etc did not think of this simple fact. Sorry to say, but the parents of the victims were perhaps thinking of getting something out of this fiasco. Yea, the press might be able to interview some of Aminul's friends or relatives where they say he is a good boy etc etc etc. But if he is so good, why would he sneaked out in the middle of the night, to go out with his friends? Is that the attribute of a good boy? The media tend to add extra spice and human interest side into the story to attract more readers. Sometimes you just need to think.

So people, THINK before pointing the fingers at the authorities. Who could have figured out that the person in the car is just a 15 year old boy? Do not give the politicians any chances to politicized this issue any further.

I might be wrong, but I am saying it as I see it.

And dear Aminul, may you Rest In Peace.

This is my voice, what about you?

2010-04-28T09:34:00.001-07:00

I've been attending Feature Writing classes this semester conducted by Mr. Aaron, one of the lecturers whose classes I enjoy going in the most. Probably its because he does not teach everything based on readings and text, but more on the current issues and it keeps our brain going, thinking about a certain issue in many different angle. This is especially a plus point for student majoring in Journalism like me.

Back to Feature Writing.

I am sure many of you, if not all of you have watched American Idol some point in your life right? And I am sure that many of you have heard the judges criticized a few of its contestant for not knowing what artist they should be, be it country, pop, rock n roll etc etc.

Same goes to Feature Writing. It is not only about writing in this case. Its about developing the writer in you. Who are you as a writer and what is your style. I have never thought about this before and truth to be told, I am still mystified on what kind of writer I am. The emotional one or the adventurous one? Poetic or Sarcastic? The Mitch Album style or Dan Brown style. The list could go on and on.

It is pretty exciting trying to find out what sort of writer you are. I mean, you thought you knew who you were in real life but in a writer's sense, it might be a different person altogether. haha. If I had to categorized myself now, I would put myself in the boring/emotional style which I hope and wished that it would not be permanent. haha.

Anyways, I'm pretty bad at fulfilling promises. I have not been updating my blog regularly to improve on my writing and it has..well, deteriorated =(

I've gotta start following this schedule again. Sigh. Self-discipline certainly needs an improvement.

Lea Michele is hot =)

2010-04-17T10:49:00.001-07:00

it has been going on for months. The cycle never ends. Whats next?

When there are clouds in the sky you'll get by if you smile through your pain and sorrow.

2010-04-07T23:06:00.000-07:00

Went through a bunch load of crap in the past week. It seems like communication always breaks down whenever I am trying to relay what I am trying to express..not only for personal relationships but also at college. I suddenly feel that I do not belong here at all and it feels like no one understands me. Thank goodness there's music. It's nice when you find yourself connecting to some songs, its like the singer is going through what you're going through.. And at times, they can be the best counselor in the world.

Love the lyrics. Glee rocks me world.

When you're dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part

2010-03-24T05:12:00.000-07:00

Have you, in your life ever felt that you have improved?
I have. Not that I'm praising myself or even boasting, but I do feel that I have change and improved, one way or another.

I just got back recently from my training in Malay Mail which is quite an eye opening experience. I've received more exposure than I thought which is very good. However, you have to have the attitude to do something.

I once did not have that kind of attitude at all but things slowly but surely change during my time in high school up to college. The attitude of not giving up, finishing what you have started and be willing to take anything that comes your way. Not many people is born with that kind of characteristics. I know I am not. As a matter of fact, I was a mommy's boy, a lazy fella (well, still is in some aspects) and I do not finish what I started. Put things in a simple way, I was immature.

Things change when I started going back to high school where I was expose to many things. I had inspiring seniors, who led by example. Though they may be a pain the ass and sometimes I despised them, but as time passes by I realised that whatever they have done for or on us, its for our own good. From there, I felt like I have built my character. The art of communicating with people. So far it has worked wonders for me.

I remember back in form 2 when I was a leader for my patrol in scout group, I thought I was leading very well. In truth there were no communication between me and the members. There were groups..its like a mutiny was gonna happen but thank goodness it did not. haha. From there, I saw what went wrong and I managed to change and realised, I was terrible..really really bad back then.

Peer pressure is the other reason I improved. I was the last minute kind of guy..as in really last minute but there is this chunky monkey (yes you know who you are) who is so punctual that sometimes I feel it went up to the point of overdoing it. But hey, thats her and it worked well for this chunky monkey so I have to take my hats off that. So I kinda improved a lil bit from the time management thingy and try to get things done as soon as possible rahter than procrastinating. Personally, it felt good, finishing things up before the deadline..though some may say that doing things last minute may help enchance their work.

I have not only change in terms of work. But on how I view relationships. From the typical messaging everyday with your high school crushes to a mature relationship. However, one thing do not change in a relationship that both parties must communicate with each other, in any way possible. A relationship could not last by just trusting each other etc etc..we're not living in the past anymore where the man (whose ego is as high as the sky) do not communicate with their partners and the relationship could just work out. Things are very different now. We need sparks. We do not wanna be boring. Look at the westerners (not that I want to glorify them), they communicate. No doubt their divorce rates are high, but I still like their way. Bleh, cheesy.

Anyhows, I feel like I've made the right changes in life. Have you?

A letter to Dad

2010-03-13T09:15:00.001-08:00

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes t! o the fa ct that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science finds a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true.. I'm over at Tommy's house.

I just wanted to remind you there are worse things in life than the Report Card in my desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home, your Son

Ive got this somewhere, real hilarious.

So yeah, we're going down

2010-03-12T19:31:00.000-08:00

This is one of those years where, whatever team or personnel I am supporting will not win or will not do well at all.

Liverpool FC (Yes all you Manure fans out there, laugh it all out..plus the one specific Hotspurs fan) and Alex Lambert are two of the best examples.

One, being dubbed as the title contender this year has falter terribly, instead of fighting for honours and title, the Reds are left to slug it out for Champions League spot - where they are currently in danger of even not qualifying for it. Another one, a contestant in the new (and boring, compared to last year) season of American Idol who has a unique and distinct voice that would win over millions - but sadly it was not the case on Thrusday night where he was eliminated instead of Tim Urban, a guy who totally decimated 'Apologize' though he has improved considerably. Then again, Alex Lambert totally have my vote.

Having had one of the best season last year, Liverpool this year has totally turn it around- for the worse as they now have to slug it out against teams like Hotspurs, Villa and Man City when we should be challenging teams like Chelsea and Barcelona for glory.

It bemuses me how a team can fall from grace out of a sudden and nothing much has changed last season compare to teams like like Manure, who sold their star player, Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid and only took in Gabriel Obertan, a youngster and Michael Owen on a free while we sold our player of the season Xabi Alonso and defender Arbeloa to the Spanish side. We got a right back at 17 million and a crocked Italian for an estimated fee of 20 million (though it depends on appearance). But performance wise, Man united have been heads and shoulders above us although we beat them the last time we met.

Its all going down hill for the red side of Merseyside now and I am fast losing hope on Rafa Benitez and his claims of achieving top 4 spot this season. I am preparing myself for the worse, the taunts of opposing fans and worse, the departure of several star players like Torres. I will still keep my faith in Rafa as the manager but the latest results, a 1-0 defeat to Lille, things are looking gloomier than ever.

For American Idol, oh boy. Biggest shock for me is the elimination of Alex Lambert and the decline of another favorite of mine, Andrew Garcia. If this goes on, Andrew might face the boot sooner rather than later. For the girls, I have only genuinely cast my eyes on Siobhan Magnus, the quirky contestant in American Idol. How boring compare to last year. Contestants last year have definitely set a high standard and from the looks of it, the class of 2010 is not really keeping up with them.

Ah well..life is full of ups and downs. Perhaps this year is the down year. Hopefully, my luck will rise again, so will Liverpool FC.

I'm pretty sure if Fabio Capello knows of my problems now, he would definitely hope England is my sworn enemy.

And through it all, she offers me protection, a lil love and affection

2010-03-08T04:11:00.000-08:00

To all women out there, Happy Women's Day!

Apparently every 8th of March is Women's Day (I didnt even know this existed but kudos!) and all the radio stations (at least Fly.Fm) have been promoting today. There was this question, which job is the most unappreciated job for a women? (or it sounded something like that)

Well, I am pretty sure that the first occupation that comes into everyone's mind - Mother. Love or hate them, to me they ranked first in the most unappreciated job for women in the world. Let's face it, without mum's I dont think we would exist. Though the guys are the sperm carriers, we were not formed from an embryo to a foetus in our dad's underwear right? Mothers go through months of hard labour, carrying us around and making sure that we're cozy in her stomach (forgot whats the scientific term for it.)

And that's not even the hardest part of all. The bringing us up is the hardest part of every mums (and dads) in the world. They constantly worry about you - from whether you have eaten or had enough sleep to when was the last time u went for your poo poo. That's when we're kids. When we're at our teenage adult stage, they would have a new set of worries like, education and to me, which road are we heading to, the good and obedient or the rebellious one. A daunting task if you ask me. There's no rest or leisure for these unsung heroines. No wonder women these days do not wanna have kids. However, there is a saying that says something like, you have to have kids at least once to be a whole and complete women. No doubt bout that.

Mothers and fathers play a different role in the family. It has been generations that men is seen to be a leader, be it a nation or a family and the sole breadwinner of the household. And women are there to only take care of the house. Those days are long gone. Women now can not only care for the household, but also earn some income for the family. They make warriors back in the days hide behind their own mummy's skirt.

However, the most important job as a mum, to me is be there for me emotionally and mentally. They are always there when life is so hard and cruel, you can fall back on them. They make a house feel like a sanctuary where you can put aside your frustrations even just for a moment. Furthermore, even if you committed the world's worst crime, and every single living soul on the planet hates you, your mum's love would not waiver. The song 'Angel' by Robbie Williams is the best example of what a mother would do for you. My mum once told me this, "You can rob a bank, you can murder someone, I would still forgive you..but if you come tell me NOW that I am going to be a grandmother, I will disown you straight away." A pretty interesting and less awkward way to teach me on safe sex. And she aint kidding when she meant that she will disown me. haha.

Yea, there are those occasional naggings that a mother would usually give their children. Which mum in the world would not nag? The routine phrase of , "Fold your blanket" , "Study" ,"Tidy your room", "Wash your car" and the list goes on. If you're living on your own, you'll occasionally miss those naggings.

So to your dude and duddettes out there, take care of your mum when they are old.
And to my dear mummy, if you are reading this, though I've broken lots of promises before (that I would clean my room, for example) there is one that I would not break which is to take care of you when you're left with only two genuine front teeth. I love you, mum.

Happy Women's Day to all you pretty ladies out there!

P.S : Happy Women's Dayy to you too my dear baby. Thank you for tolerating my sometimes intolerable attitude and loving me for not only my good sides but my imperfections as well. Love you.

Cause everybody knows that, nobody really knows

2010-03-06T11:20:00.000-08:00

There are a few people that I dont like in this world. Not specifically, but generally. One of them is the kiasu type of people. Have never really like them. There is this fella, a dude from my facebook account who scored pretty good results in STPM. How good? 3A's and 1A-. Yea, that good and heck he even came out in the New Straits Times newspaper. Okay, it seems that im heading towards being more specific now than general but what the heck, I love to rant. Even after achieving such results, he said it was unpredictable. I thought thats pretty good, having not predicted your results to be so good..but I was dead wrong. He said he expected to be better. And goes on blabbering bout "how bad my results are" , "how i have dissapointed my parents" and here comes the champion quote, "how I wont get into any local university to study med with this kind of result" . Like dude, are you freaking serious? Come on, you're taking STPM for goodness sake! Perhaps its right that he do not take up the med course because with this kind of attitude, you aint gonna go far. Think of others who do not really score well and imagine thier horror if they happen to stumble upon your unnecessary self-pity.

Which brings me to think, would my kid be that way? would he/she be that kiasu in the future? If it does, Imma gonna give him a tight slap or for the girl, I am just gonna cut of her shopping allowance.

I am never a believer of acedemic education. Yes, I do agree that one have to have good education, good at studies etc etc etc. But will text books bring you far in life? Or will exams decide whether you succeed in life? To me, personally, its no. Being smart at studies is just not enough in life. As an intern now, I realized I only applied 10% of what I learned in the classroom and 90% on what I learn outside of classroom, from high school up to the stage I am in now.

And most of the 90% comes from the time when I was in scouts, clubs and prefects where characters are trained, your attitude are being put straight and where you start to learn how to develope your connections with people who are older than you or with people who have higher post compare to you. All those training and gasak-ing I went through in high school is now beginning to reap its rewards. Now I know why when I was in scout, we must not sleep until we are done building our gadgets or when I serving my duty as a prefect for my school, the seniors (doubt most of them know the reason behind it) pushed us around so much. We definitely can't go to bed until we have finish our work and as newbies or even interns, we'll definitely be pushed around..A LOT. I can go on with this as I have so much to say. All this have made transition from being a student to a working adult so much smoother and it does not feel torturous when you have to go through the working ordeal because I can say, "hey, Ive been through it before. No biggie."

This does not only applied on a specific working field but on every single profession. Imagine the dude up there I mentioned earlier? He might know everything in the books. But when it comes to a sudden real life incident say where, someone was shot in the public or there was a road accident or something unusual happens in the public, outside the operating room. Will he act immediately on instinct or grab a book out of his suitcase and realized there are no guidelines on how to treat a patient outside the operating room, and thus start to tremble and cry for symphaty, like how he did on his results.

It does not matter how smart you are, if your attitude stinks. So will your life.

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter

2010-02-20T01:25:00.000-08:00

I am guilty.
I should be hanged.
I have betrayed myself.

I DID NOT UPDATE MY BLOG FOR TWO WEEKS IN A ROW *bam, shot in the head and die*

Bleh. Utter nonsense. Anyways, I admit I breach my vow that I'll update my blog once a week thus, here is a little update, specifically, last night.

Kiatisak Chua: sher: flirting with vendors
Kiatisak Chua: kia flirted with one caucasian vendor
Kiatisak Chua: but he is a guy
Kiatisak Chua: lol
ywen: lol
ywen: normal la
ywen: sei thai kuok lou confused abt his gender and sexuality
ywen: :)
ywen: it happens to most of them
Kiatisak Chua: Kia : FUCK YOU
Kiatisak Chua: SI BUDAK CINA
Kiatisak Chua: KOTE PENDEK
Kiatisak Chua: hahahahahah
ywen: i know im male and dead straight
ywen: do u? :P
Kiatisak Chua: i didnt know ure a male
Kiatisak Chua: at least thats what it hought after 3k inn
Kiatisak Chua: lol
ywen: lol
ywen: nonsense
ywen: im a male and u know it
ywen: ur ass felt the full extent of my powers
ywen: RAWRRRRRRRR
Kiatisak Chua: the girlfriend just screamed out loud "WHAT THE HELL????????????????????"
ywen: lol
Kiatisak Chua: kia went "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
Kiatisak Chua: wth man
Kiatisak Chua: now i know u love anal
ywen: LOL
ywen: ok that came out wrong
Kiatisak Chua: sher lyn gotta learn how to do it d
Kiatisak Chua: lol
ywen: dang
ywen: hahaha
ywen: i didnt mean it that way
Kiatisak Chua: i love the rawr
Kiatisak Chua: so macho
Kiatisak Chua: lol
ywen: haha
ywen: thanks for the compliments :P

Thats how interesting my life has become. flirting with an european guy vendor.
And guys, Yi-Wen aint gay.
He's Bi.

And im just joking with the flirting with the vendor thing. Seriously.

Sometimes love comes around

2010-01-31T06:21:00.000-08:00

This is an awesome awesome video! You guys gotta see this video man..the guy is good and the girl is awesome!

P.S : The girl is so cute, adorable and pretty!and not to forget, she has one of the best voice too! seriously, you gotta watch!

2010-01-31T01:57:00.001-08:00

#$%#$^^%#$&%^&$%%$&Y%^*^Y%^&*%^&$%^%^*%^&$%&$^&*^%&%^$*%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im very frus these days. it doesnt help when i cant even open facebook or my inbox on my laptop. Screw it.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much

2010-01-28T05:26:00.000-08:00

When I first entered primary school, I was told by my mum that smoking is not good. When I was in early secondary school, smoking to me was un-cool and it was only for those teenagers who wants to show off their "Ah beng" style to attract girls (which until today I think that they do not really work on nice, decent girls). During the later years of my secondary school, smoking was really bad for health to me, thanks to all the ads about the negative side of smoking. Come college, smoking was beginning to look normal to me as everyone around me is smoking but the image of the ads about smoking is still lingering around me to stop me from taking that forbidden puff.

However, as I enter journalism, my perception from smoking being bad is slowly taking its turn to being a normal thing in society. Something so routine that I feel like, drinking a glass of water. What changes me perhaps is my working environment. Almost everyone (I think its only me and Aik Meng as an exception) smokes. Perhaps its the stress they are going through. But the amount of cigarrettes my colleagues puff are unbelievable.

After much deliberating (with myself), I find that I could accept IF (its all in caps, if you do not notice it) I start puffing the forbidden stick.

But, I'll leave that in the future though when I am much much older and I am really into the journalism line, not now. Who knows, by then some scientist somewhere might invent a form of healthy smoke (bubble pipes, anyone?).

For now, as an intern, I shall keep myself satisfied with a cup(maybe two or three) of Nescafe cum Milo from the ever so reliable coffee vending machine whenever I am under stress.
Cheers.

Misconceptions of the 'lonely' songs

2010-01-23T07:10:00.000-08:00

[Warning: This will be an emo/whining/sad post. If by reading this, will make you think any lesser of me please do not continue on. If it does not make you feel so, you may continue or if I am already a lesser being to you, you're welcome to indulge in my misery. Thank You.]

How many of you have heard of lonely songs before? I think (and I dare to say) all have, in one form or another.

Now, how many have listened to lonely songs and sometimes feel that its so cliche, tasteless and repetitive? I am pretty sure there would be many (Me included).

Right, how many have listened to it, and feel emo and all those crap just to garner attention (presumably from girils, for the guys perspective)? This I can say, a lot (and again, me included).

So, based on my simple observation, all these sad, romantic, emo, down or whatever you call it songs gets it unfair share of criticism. I mean, the songwriters must have received lots of stick from people for writing sad and miserable feeling songs about breaking up, someone leaving and so on and so forth.

These criticisms actually are not directly directed to the songwriters (I do not know what I really typed in the paragraph before this), it is more directed to those people, who listens to it, and do not really indulge in the song. Instead, they use it to gain attention from their peers or as a tool for hitching up chicks. Its pretty sad when this happens. I know why people do that though, it works at times, especially if you're one heck of a pathetic fella (yes, i admit i was pathetic last time.)

Sometimes, or should I say most of the time, songwriters wrote their songs from what they gone through and it is real. It should not be used as a tool to be emo. You wanna emo, sit a corner by yourself and listen it by yourself. Don't bring others in with your down/sad/miserable looks Respect the songwriter, dude.

Lately, I've been listening to lots of these sad songs. And lots today because the Sultan of Johor passed away (R.I.P your Highness) and Fly.Fm have been playing sad and slow songs a lot today. It made me think while listening to the songs. I can feel what the family members feel. Sad. Same goes to those who lost their beloved love ones in the dragon boat tragedy. Some of the songs can put you in their shoes. It is not hard to put yourself in their shoes. We are all humans. All we need to do is just open up. Think what would they feel, when someone you cared so much, gone forever just like that. Then, you would understand songs like No Promises by Shayne Ward or Like You'll Never See Me Again by Alicia Keys.

No matter how long you are seperated from your loved one, be it a day, a week or a year, you'll feel empty. I know I do. I have to admit something though, sometimes, I do not understand one of my close friend's sadness of her leaving her bf behind, only for 10 weeks and I am here, not gonna meet mine (gf not bf) for atleast another 17 months. Hell, I would trade places with them anytime man. After thinking about it though, it struck me that, I once have to be without my girl for a month, I am even more devastated than that. Perhaps, this is human nature. For them, those 10 weeks might be like 10 months. Though it may sound like a short time to some people, it does not to them. Cause, these two people are in the relationship, not us. So, they know what and how they feel, not us. Same goes to my case. 17 months might be a hell of a long time to me, but, it beats those who has to wait their whole life just to meet their loved ones. Those people are those who lost their loved ones. For some religion, to meet them, you have to wait for your time on this wretched place to stop ticking before you could move on. Sounds like a hell lot worse compare to mine. However, like my close friend's case, you could not take that feeling of seperation from me as to me, it is painstakingly long.

So, I dare to say that, now, I fully grasp the concept of sad love songs. It is what the writer go through and he or she has the gift to put it down in not only pen and paper, but music as well, to tell those outside who are going through the same turbulent emotions, you are not alone.

That concludes my sad emo post, hopefully no more for a forseeable future. This post is one of the few post which i wrote it raw. I do not arrange what I want to write and points might fly everywhere.

The very latest from Petaling Jaya

2010-01-19T05:23:00.000-08:00

This is day number 11 (if I am not mistaken) in Malaysia's capital, well sort of. I am in PJ actually. Anyways, I have started my training, together with another comrade(not in terms of football) YAM - Yap Aik Meng. It has been smooth sailing and I must say, I am enjoying my time here. However, nothing is perfect and the downside of this is the parking fees imposed here. I've spent a total of RM50 on parking for the last two days! Gosh.

Apart from that, Malay Mail (an ENGLISH newspaper agency) is actually a very nice place to be at. I was expecting all the hoo -hahs that you'll get from the senior reporters there, all the snobbish looks and yes, a very angry looking-foul mouthed-short tempered editor. This was not the case. People there are very friendly, albeit a few, but majority of them are pretty nice..including the editor.

I must say, I look forward to work everyday as I realised, I learn a lot each passing day. You can't learn some of the stuff here by just sitting down in a classroom in college, you have to come and experience it yourself. Things like, putting your nerves (and balls) together to call some big shot people that you runs one of the biggest company or even politicians.

Just recently I've been to my first press conference and it was an eye opening experience. Though I was a little lost in the process and I did lots of mistake writing the news, it is all part of the learning process. That's what I tell myself. I mean, no one in this world have never failed in their life before right? Some of the most successful people have failed. Donald Trump had failed before, he was almost declared bangkrupt. Bill Gates dropped out of college and look where he is now. Robert Downey Jr had a few miserable years, fighting addiction and look at him now, being the rich flying tin man. Tiger Woods failed in his marriage but bagged almost a dozen of blondes (Amazing) . Yea, so what Im trying to say is, to be successful, you have to fail..minus the part about Tiger Woods.

It looks like its gonna be a gloomy start to the year of the Tiger. Thousands of life have been taken away by the ferocity of mother nature. The Haitian tragedy is another wake up call for the power of mother nature and how much destruction it can bring. Thousands are dead and more are grieving for the lost of thier family members. Closer to home, six have lost their life in a mishap. It feels so surreal that things like this could happen so close to us. I guess I do not need to ellaborate on that. It made me think that life is really really fragile and unpredictable. One moment you can be happily sitting side by side with your family, cracking a joke or two, the next day..you realised that they could be gone. Forever. So it is still not too late to appreciate what we have right now.

Perhaps that is the reason why I'm starting to feel a lil home sick right now though before this, I was coping well. All these tragedy made me think of home. I did not actually bid an actual goodbye to my parents, let alone my brothers. Now, looking at all these tragedies (one of the downside about being a journalism) I really really do miss my family. Cheesy. But it's true. I could hear from the phone calls my mom gave me every evening that she misses me and that my dad is worried about me. However, being the boy that was brought up to show less affection towards parents, I was steadfast except for some moments when I really did say "I miss your nagging" to my mum. And my bros, ahh..I miss the sarcastic remarks my brothers will give me about my room, about how they are better than me in basketball and the time we played football games. Yes Ang Sher Lyn, I do miss home now but I'm still coping well. haha.

Another person I would be missing now, and has always been and whom I considered as part of family as well. Yes, the girl that is thousands of miles away from me in a little state of republic called Taiwan. She recently has cleared one of her biggest issue, which involves her identity. I am happy. I truly am. However, I am also sad that she is not gonna be here..until next year September. I dont know about you guys. Holding my fort until now, which is like around five months, is not an easy task. Not at all. Yes, there are friends and dont get me wrong, they are very important as well and part of a reason why I am still looking forward to some days. But I do have to say, ShinRui, she is at another level. I do not doubt friend's importance like I've said before but..they could not give me what she has given me. I am sure you guys would understand what I mean right? I miss times when we go walking around in the mall. I miss times when we watch movies in the cinema. I miss sitting beside you. I miss putting my hands around your shoulder. I miss the feeling of looking forward to meet you. I miss quarreling with you in real life, not skype, as we can make up easily after every fight. Five months is already so tough, to tell you the truth, I do not know whether I have the strength to go on for at least another 19 months. I do not know what would happen in the future, but this is not a giving up statement. Just some thoughts that has been lingering in my head for quite some time.

And yes, KL seems a lil bit more entertaining, having the crazy monkey dude, Ang Sher Lyn here with me. Glad that you are here! =) We gonna make it through this industrial training aite? Stay strong! It seems weird writing this down here as in aproximately 11 hours, I am gonna meet you again and that you stay less than 200m away. Yi-Wen, dont worry. she misses you alot. haha.

Tomorrow, I am gonna go do some investigative reporting! woots! Wish me luck though that I wont get myself into any trouble. haha.

Btw, the late post is due to my tight schedule now that I have to work, clean my stuff, wash and hang my clothes and bla bla bla..you know the drill.

So hopefully I will be able to post up another one tomorrow! Goodnight peepz!

This Is Something Special For Someone Special

2010-01-06T06:36:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, I came to know of the existence of this girl.

I was playing basketball and there she was, standing by the outside of the court with a book in her hands together with her group of friends.

My first thought, "Man, this girl is a nerd! Studying at a basketball court?"

Then i've got to know her more..She and her group of friends joined the game, with their own version of "basketball".

Oh was I wrong. I was hell wrong that she was a nerd.

We started to go out and know more of each other.

My perception of her changed soon after.

"She aint a nerd. She's a fighter."

We became an item soon after.

We had happy times, we had bad times but oh those were great times.

Sadly, she has to leave to some where far to pursue her dream to be a doctor.

It has been a few long months since she left..she has been facing plenty of challenge of late.

She has been stressed out to the max.

So this here, is to tell you, my love,

Hang on there!I believe you can make it through no matter how big the odds are.

I believe you can make it through because you are a fighter and, its cause you're my girl as well =p

I'll be here always if you need me.

I love you..always!

Return Of The Pitches!

2010-01-06T05:52:00.000-08:00

The time is here again, where million of people (in America) would be stuck to their couch with their eyes glued on the technological box we call the television with telephones or mobile phones in their hands. Yes, its that time of the year again. The American Idol season is back!They are now into their ninth season.

This time, things will be different. The Idols are going through one of their biggest change in their history (i guess) which is the departure of the "vocab-rich" Paula Abdul. Yup, she aint there anymore. Unfortunately for the contestants for season 9, that means there won't be anymore nice comments that would soften any hard comments dished out by Randy and Simon especially, and I doubt Kara could fit into Paula's shoes. And, the judge allegedly(or confirmed) replacing Paula would be Ellen Degeneres! Like wha? Ellen? The dancing talk show host? That would be...just awesome i guess? Imagine, apart from having comments on your singing, you might have some jokes or puns thrown at your singing! For the contestants with difficulties or those who are facing some personal issues might get help from the show as well! And to top it all off, the live audiences might even get freebies at the end of the show! Aint that cool?

Truth is, the Idol is reaching its last stage. It does not really have the "oomph" anymore that can attract the audiences. To me, if it is not for Adam Lambert last season, I would not really turn on the tube and sit through the painful hour (sometimes 2) to watch the show. Yes, I have to admit, there are some great performances like Kris Allen's rendition of Heartless and Danny Gokey's You Are So Beautiful just to name a few, but seriously, would you like to watch a finale between Kris and Danny? Not that they are bad singers but they are just...boring. Yes, Adam might be over the top sometimes but isn't that what performances are all about? No, I am not being bias for your infomation. Just watch the marathon of season 8 on Astro again and imagine Adam is not there. And another thing, last season top 12 have stepped up the standard and it would be really hard for the contestants this season to break that standard.

Simon would be leaving after this season. Yes. The man who has been in a way, the backbone of the show, is leaving the show. So I guess I do not need to elaborate on his importance for Idol. Without his witty sarcasm, the panel of judges would be just too...dull?yea, the show is about the contestants, but Im pretty sure everyone, and I mean everyone would wait and anticipate the response of the judges right?Especially those of Mr. Cowell. I guess the thought of having Ellen and freegifts for the audiences would be pretty enticing now, no?haha

Thus, American Idol is heading into its last few steps then, they will fade away. Hopefully, this season the contestants would be better than last year though I do not put much hope in it. And sadly, I would not be able to watch it due to my internship in KL =(

New Year, New Style

2009-12-30T06:07:00.000-08:00

As we usher in the new year, 2010, some changes should be made on things around us thus, this would explain the new blog template and the url. My blog has been dead for weeks, sometimes months and the amount of my post for each month is as scarce as the amount of raindrops falling in the Sahara desert. This would all change come 2010 as i've got a few reasons why I should update my blog now and then.

I'm going to start my industrial training very soon and perhaps I might need to be ready for action on my first day of work. Honestly, I'm having troubles writing a good article, or a good essay these days. Last semester in college, I sometimes feel like I've lost my creativity in writing. I added no funk or spunk or krunk or whatever it is in the essay/article to make it more interesting, more fun to read. I used to be able to do that( i think) even if its not that good, but i do enjoy writing essays in the past. I'd blogged almost every single day in the past, but now, like i've said before, my blog is like a Sahara Desert and me, a very stingy Rain God.

So, the only way to stop the rot, is to start blogging again. Start writing. Type whatever shit I have in mind. Or get screwed by the editor, or worse, get kicked out and fail my training (thats actually the worst case scenario).

Yea, I'm pretty sure after my little story telling, you know why i changed my URL, right? I'm gonna update this blog ONCE every WEEK. Yeap. One time in seven days! It's a vow I'm going to fulfill. No kidding.

Every Wednesday there will be a new post up about whatever crap that's running through my head, so stay tune if you're interested!Chiaoz for now..I'm running out of ideas.

My Blog Is Bloody Dead...

2009-12-29T21:48:00.001-08:00

...and oh yea, i miss you

i need to improve my malay writing skills abit.

2009-11-24T09:46:00.000-08:00

Oleh itu, saya menulis blog saya dalam Bahasa Melayu..
Baru-baru ini, saya dapat merasai kekurangan benda dalam hidup saya..
apa yang saya buat, saya salah..
memang sangat resah perkara ini..
memang benar masa dapat memadamkan perasaan ini, akan tetapi..
selepas sekian lama saya perlu menyesuaikan diri dalam keadaan yang menimpa diriku..
sedaya upaya saya cuba mengelakkan perkara ini berlaku..
namun demikian, berlaku juga perkara yang saya paling takut dalam hidup saya..
ya, perubahan dalam hubungan kita..
seperti yang anda cakap dulu, anda mungkin akan berubah..
mungkin inilah masanya..
menyesal perkara itu berlaku?mungkin...mungkin tidak..tetapi saya perlu meluahkannya..
jikalau tidak..hati saya ini tak akan menikmati satu hari yang tenang..
perasan gelisah akan menyelubungi jiwaku dan hatiku tidak akan melalui satu hari tanpa berasa tenang dan aman..
perkara ini mungkin akan menyebabkan perasaanmu dan rindumu mengurang..
apa yang boleh saya lakukan?
oh tuhan..alangkah baiknya kalau saya seorang yang berego..seorang yang boleh mengetepikan semua masalah ini dan fikir untuk diriku sendiri..
akan tetapi, aku tidak menyalahkanmu..saya tidak meminta apa-apa dengan blog ini..saya hanya ingin meluahkan saja perasaan ini yang tiba tiba menimpaku..
mungkin saya sangat mengantuk..
tolong jangan mengambil ini dengan maksud yang salah...
hanya..
saya amat merindui masa dahulu..masa yang kita bergembira dan juga bergaduh..tetapi perbezaannya, kami dapat menyelesaikannya dengan baik..,dengan ini..saya ingin mendedikasikan lagu ini kepada semua orang yang membaca segment ini..haraplah semua menikmati lagu ini..

jangan peduli wajah penyanyi..dengarlah saja lagu tersebut..
bahasa melayu saya masih perlu lagi diperbaiki..KDK (Ketawa Dengan Kuat)*malay version of LOL*

All the random shits

2009-11-21T10:11:00.000-08:00

This is gonna be a heck load of random shit in this post..so i doubt any of you guys will understand what I'm about to type here. For those who could kudos, for those who can't you're welcome to guess..

Alright, lately ive caught a movie, 2012. To me it was pretty good..i mean i like the plot and stuff like that but one thing that bores me is that the hero never dies. In any normal circumstances, a normal human being would be dead, just watch the movie then you'll know..he can escape burning inferno, drowning, air crash and escape from California to China when the whole world seems to fall apart and not to forget, they always look good doing it..its so cliche..but then again, im not for the sad ending where the hero dies just to save millions of people in the earth....wait, there you go, another cliche.. anyways New Moon's coming out (or is it out?) so it is time to see whether the movie is living up to its hype..

Done with most of the assignments..still got a few more to go..this semester has been a hell of a turbulent one..work work work..oh wells..some the effort is well paid off..however, i do not feel like ive got the rights to claim some credit to it as other team members did more though i contributed some..but i do still feel i did not enough..sigh sigh sigh..

celebrated 2 of my friend's birthday yesterday!again..HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO KAI ZHAI AND RACHEL YONG!!!=D

Liverpool are on one of their worst runs in their history..pffft!enough said..but..i'll never stop supporting you scousers! YNWA!

pretty worried bout my training now..got rejected once by KLUE and im facing another prospect of getting rejected by Malay Mail..they say they're gonna give me an answer by end of the month..well lets just hope that they will give us a positive response..really wanna get out Penang..no, it is not because Penang is not a good place to live or stay or work or study..just that, after all this unnecesaary shit, i've gotta go off awhile..life in the big city..its gonna be hard i know..whats not in life?

To me, i prefer problems to be solved and i do not like people to say one thing and they meant it another way..thus if you wanna settle the problems or whatever problems we are going through now, please please be honest and truthful to me..why do you wanna go the big round and in the end, give the benefit to no one?it might even turn out worse..if you think that keeping quiet will solve the problems, think again..dont tell me you wanna avoid it or put it in the past, i know it will maybe be alrite...for short term..long term, we better sit and discuss..the problem is i do not know where the hell i've gone wrong..if you want me to guess i've tried and i dont know..YOU have to tell me..do you want us to keep things from each other?do you wanna go down that road?ive repeated this countless times before and im tired of it..im sure you are too...so the ball is in your court, it is up to you to decide what you want..im cool with it..the past,i wont sit well with this, but now i feel...drained..i'll just go with your flow..

oh ya before i end this segment of random shit..MILEY CYRUS SUCKS!
peace out~lol

Being apart, it's very hard..

2009-11-04T04:35:00.000-08:00

Being apart from someone you care and love is not only hard enough, it's devastating! Know what is more devastating? Your ways to keep connected is limited and even if it is available for me, i.e the internet, it still sucks..because u know why?Malaysia's internet connection sucks. That is why.

I've tried many ways..skyping, chatting online and stuff like that which do not really require money but well it does not really bode well with us..for me atleast..it is because either the connection is terrible or theres something distracting somewhere..sigh..the best for me is by phone and now, the situation has gone bad..i guess being on the phone just wouldnt cut it anymore..

I should be more considerate and i guess i have to cope with one of my enemies(bloody internet connection) to win a war(the bloody fucking distance)..im just hoping that the internet line will stay strong when im using it..

2009-10-07T01:58:00.000-07:00

Its time for a change..
i've got a wake up call today..i feel like i sort of disappoint a lecturer today.. i dont like that feeling at all..i dont like the feeling of disappointing someone..maybe it is in my nature to be special or someone that stands out in people's view..be it in terms of work or relationship..

I need a change..i need to concentrate more on people that put hopes on me and not disappoint them like how i did again today..it might not be a big deal for many..but to me, it is sort of a big deal..

i still think im not at fault entirely
if this is your way of showing me that im wrong n that you forgive me,
you're damn wrong if you think i feel grateful for that,
i want you to see my TRUE point,
if you cant, it's just too bad

2009-10-03T19:32:00.000-07:00

do not wanna know do not wanna care..
i feel that i've fallen down the pecking order in your life and im not that important as how i was used to be..though u're still always the most important one to me..
sound like a high school kid?
i guess..dont care.
guess i just have to live with that feeling of being kick out from the top spot..

Update

2009-09-14T02:31:00.000-07:00

here is the current update in my life..
Life's a bitch and there is always time when u feel that you are not cared at all..

there u go, my blog is alive talkin bout his darn emotional stuff..
but hey, like i've said life's a bitch..

and now, my blog is going into hibernation mood again..
in another words, dead for another few months or atleast..until this turbulent feeling goes off..
blah

APOLOGIES!

2009-05-30T11:06:00.001-07:00

I wish to apologize to one of my closest friend for leaving out his name in my post recently..
i feel really regretful that i left his name off..
to my defence, i can only say that i was really having a writer's block and after that accident in my college..
i tend to forget things..
so to my really close buddy Teo Mou Jian,who acted as a prostitude to call me on the day before my bday, i appreciate it alot..
it was the most unique way of wishing someone a happy birthday..
which im sure will be a trend someday and if it does..
i will definitely make sure everyone knows who the founder of this idea was..
it was you, one and only..
my beloved..
Teo Mou Jian!

XOXO

Chapter 30 - 12 Months

2009-05-30T01:44:00.000-07:00

12 Months ago..

I hated college..
I have no close friends in college..
I did not have any guy friends in college..
I was a loner in college..
I thought to myself "Why in the world am i here?!"
College sucks..

12 Months ago

Life was boring..
Everything was routine..
Friends were leaving..

12 Months ago

I was alone..
No one have come into my life yet..

12 Months ago

I was 18

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Now,
Im 19 and am enjoying my life to the fullest!

And...

Thanks to The College Gang for the party on the beach!
Happy Belated Bday to WeiQi!
Thanks to Sin Wah for the cake she baked for me n WeiQi!
Thanks to friends who wished me!Thanks~
Thanks to Rachel for calling me!
Thanks to Yi-Wen and Yik Sean for the very nice car sticker..!
Thank you Ah Bi and Panda for the treat and birthday cake..!
Thanks to my two awesome girlfriends, Sher Lyn aka The Baboon and Vanitha aka Ranghitaaa for the suprise and gifts!thanks alot you two!i appreciate it alot..!hehe..
Most importantly, eventhough u're thousands of mile away frm me, I still love what you did for me and I love you even more as days past by..my dear NgShinRui!=)

I miss you baby..alot!

Random thoughts

2009-05-11T08:47:00.000-07:00

I am like a child who wants more

but you are so reluctant to give

some child will stay and continue bugging

but some will move on to others who are willing to give.

Chapter 29 - Whose Line Is It Anyway

2009-04-23T08:31:00.000-07:00

Ever felt like the world's gonna end for you?

Ever felt like things are always going the wrong way for you?

Ever felt like there are no more JOY and LAUGHTER in this world??

No worries..
I've got a cure for you guys out there..
Lo and Behold..

Whose Line Is It Anyway!

A great show to laugh all your problems out!seriously..been keeping me company on every weekdays from 5 to 5.30pm, Astro channel 711..

Everyone should watch it man..this is just a preview of what is install for you..a must watch..i repeat..A MUST WATCH!

What other way to get your problems out but to laugh em? =D

2009-04-17T09:42:00.000-07:00

the past 9 days are just hell for me..

2009-04-17T03:07:00.000-07:00

im bitter

Chapter 28 - The Horror Doesnt Stop There

2009-04-11T21:56:00.000-07:00

Yeap, that's right!

A couple of days after i've been discharged from the hospital, Im down with a fever and also the dreaded chicken pox!sighh..wonder when will this tirade of misfortune end??

With me going down to this bloody virus named after a chicken, im gonna miss alot of activites that im looking forward to do..namely captain ball, paintball, my dad's birthday and classes..not to forget, Mou Jian's temporary homecoming! @#$#%$#%%^$$%@%#$^%&^!!!
im sorry Mou Jian =(

Im really afraid of missing classes now..especially desktop publishing classes..involves things to do with computer applications which im not a pro in it..a total noobster in that field..sighh..i just hope i'll be able to go back to college in a week or so,earliest..

I've also been really uncomfortable since yesterday..i hope itz because of my chicken pox and fever not the bang on my head..i really do not wanna go back to the hospital..but with the complexity of the human body..i guess i need to go back for a second opinion on my brain so to confirm im really clear of trouble...

sighh sighh sighh..so many plans and activities..went down the drain =(

till the next chapter..
chaozzzz!!

P.s : Im sorry baby we had to cancel that dinner..but i promise u once i get better..i'll take u there for dinner!*sign with my blood* =P

Chapter 27 - Horror and Touched II

2009-04-10T10:25:00.000-07:00

continuation from the previous post..

...I started to notice my surroundings..how are the structures of the whole ward..who were my neighbours and the hospital ward did not smell as bad as i thought it would be.

I was flanked on my both sides..on my right, there was an old man who well..supported Liverpool or maybe he was just someone who gambles on football,time and time again mumbling how could Liverpool lost..lol..and on the far right was an appendix patient together with his family member who stayed all night with him..on my left,an accident victim who kinda broke his arm badly and later at night, a convict took the place on the far left..3 police were escorting him and he was cuffed with handcuffs on the bed whole night long..another surreal experience..haha..

I spent my night reading Eclipse and started thinking how lucky i was to only have my head banged up..i started recalling how i ended up hurting myself..

Mr Aaron called me to on the LCR monitor because the remote wasnt working..as usual i would climb up the chair n on for him..unfortunately the chair wasnt really the stable kind of chair and it went of balanced..the metal at the bottom of the chair went up and my head went down first..then BAM..i was there sitting down..blurring..

I shuddered everytime i think of it..because it might have hit other more important parts of my body which is not protected by the thick layer of bones like my skull..what if it had hit my eyes?my nose? or even my neck? I would be in hell lot of trouble if that were to happen *touchwood* it got me thinking alot of things..like i've said way earlier in the previous post..stuff that i should have done..unforseen things happens......

Shurgging off the thoughts..i went back to reading the book..and i finished it!man was i bored and with nothing else to do..i slept..

I was awaken by the nurse to checked on my blood pressure at 5 am @.@
Then at 6something @.x
Then at 7something x.x

Really potong steam..oh well..after the third time i was kinda awake d so i decided not to sleep n wait for the nurse to come n check my blood pressure again..and they did not come till 10something =.= ugh!

Around noon..my dad helped me got discharged frm the hospital and i was back to the open world again!I stopped by at college awhile to look for Mr Aaron to check on him..and also for Miss Jenny..just to tell her it has nothing to do with Mr Aaron and this accident was all down to me being really careless and clumsy but i couldnt find them in their office..so i went home..hoping to get hold of them on mon..

And my baby is coming down to visit me again!wheee! =D

Later in the afternoon i got a call frm Miss Jenny..glad that everything is alright..and in the evening..Mr Aaron called..i was glad that he's alright..if you're reading this Sir, dont worry...im fine..everything will be alright!cheer up!=)

And that kinda ends the whole story..really...a new experience for me..im glad i came out alive and i got a so called "man scar" that I can show off to my kids and grandkids next time..lol..

Before i end..i wanna thank..

My parents for their unconditional care especially my mum..
Ma Babeh Shin for being there all the time..Love You!
Sher Lyn for being concern n calling Mou Jian n of course visiting me..thank you Baboon!
Shu Pei, Melody and Aniq for visiting me..you guys cheered me up!
Yik Sean for coming to entertain me by buaya-ing the nurses..haha=D
Mou Jian for calling me all the way from Nilai..and also telling Chong yen that i have a concussion =.= hahaha..
Chong Yen for calling me and being worried bout me..
Rachel for calling me to check up on me too..thanks goose!
Ywen , Jon Toh n Daniel Lai for calling n texting me..
Joe Jin, Melissa,Vivien n Karen for texting me..
HCC staff for their concerns and gift..

..that's all right?if i missed out..please tell me k..
anyhow..im deeply touched by you guys..thanks so much!!

Till the next chapter..
chaozzzz!!

Chapter 26 - Horror and Touched

2009-04-10T09:07:00.000-07:00

I was sitting down...my vision,blurred for a couple of seconds and i hear a familiar voice asking me to lie down.."Lie down and don't move," said a very worried looking Mr Aaron.

I didnt really know what hit me..all i could remember was me falling down from the chair, head first and BAM! I was seeing stars...well not exactly stars..

As i was lying down i moved my hand to touch my forehead and to my horror, i felt a curve into the frontal skull of my forehead..I knew i was in freaking deep shit..Lecturers started pouring in and one by one looked at me and gasped..It did not help the fact that i was scared to death and add in a few more gasped and the horror-ed looking faces of the lecturers, scared to death was an understatement at that period of time.

As i was lying down waiting for the ambulance to come, i was left in the hall with Mr Aaron..I was lying down but i still could see the guiltiness written all over his face and he kept talking with me, fearing that i would be unconscious..He kept asking me question and perhaps he even prayed to me just so i could be conscious while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. I was actually more than conscious..loads of things were running through my mind that very moment when i knew that there's a high possibility that i cracked my skull and it might affect my brain. A lot of things went around in my head..Loved ones, friends, future and..and stuff that i did not and should have done before it came to this point..i know it may sound cliche but if u were in my position, i might atleast be pardon to think so that way.

The thoughts made my body tremble a bit..thoughts of me not being able to do what i want..parts of it were will it ever effect me when i play sports? will i ever have some memory loss?I trembled even more thinking of not being able to be active in sports anymore..then i received a call from my mum..her voice was very worried and anxious..apparently the college manage to contact her..after telling her that i would be sent to GH,she immediately close the phone n went there..The ambulance finally arrived after 15 long minutes which to me felt like hours and I was a lil bit exhausted, perhaps due to the trembling.

I was a lil bit relax and also a lil bit scared travelling in the ambulance, first time travelling in it. Mr Chum, one of our admin officer followed me in the ambulance n he kept reassuring me things will be alright..and i kept asking, "Is my head really bad?" . He has that concerning look everytime i asked and every answer was " It is not that bad..don't worry."

Once we reached the hospital i was immediately sent to see the doc. Suprisingly, instead of working fast, the doctor kept talking to one of the nurses about karma in indian language while propping me up, at a slow pace..the indian doctor set me up and asked me some questions..after that i was told that i had a frontal fracture and all i could manage to ask was the same as always "Is my head really bad?"

"You have a fracture, that is already bad enough..we have to scan your brain." answered the doc.

Yeap,i was left there awhile, i could feel my whole face turning white with horror, the words "WE HAVE TO SCAN YOUR BRAIN" left me stunned and without a second more to dwell in my horror, a nurse appeared and said she has to insert one of the needle like thing into my hand..to tranfer the drips into my body just incase i go into a fit and i had to put on an oxygen tiub incase i have difficulty in breathing. My nose were burning when the tiub entered my nose..it wasnt comfortable at all with the additional thoughts im thinking,i was going through hell.

Not long after that, my mum came and she look worse than she sounded, i thought it wouldnt have hit her so hard but i was wrong..she was close to tears while she kept touching my body to look for any further injuries..that moment was the first time i felt like crying since the begining of this whole ordeal..before i could respond any further, i was pushed into the scanning room..

I was starting to get a lil bit restless and edgy on the CT machine..i kept moving about a lil and it took longer than it was suppose to be..after it was finally done i was so relieve and exhausted at the same time..but i do not dare to even think bout sleeping or dozing off for the moment as the doctor said earlier that i may lost my consciousness..i do not wanna lose my consciousness..i wanna know exactly what happen to me asap..while waiting for the doctor to come check the scanning results, my dad and few of his colleagues came. They went outside and talked alil bit about my condition with a person incharge..I was trying really hard to keep myself awake..with all the restlessness and edgy-ness of my whole body kicked out..exhaustion kicked in..eventually i dozed off a lil while.

I was awaken by a shake from a new doctor..he kept bombarding me with questions and later went to check the scans together with my parents and their colleagues..then only i realised that i dozed off..I was relieved that i did not lose consciousness..from afar i saw my parents talking to the doc n all..

After they finish discussing..my mum said " The doctor said your brain is not affected because there is a second layer of skull protecting your brain..only your first layer of skull got fractured and cracked ---- but you will have a permanent dent on your forehead"

I did not really concentrated about the dent on my forehead and i was just so relieved that nothing bad happened to my brain..thank gooodness!

Later on i was asked to be admitted into the hospital for a check on my skull..whether if i wanna perform a plastic surgery to fix my dent part..i was relunctant after listening to the way the doctor described it..but no harm staying for one night...

Another wave of good things started to happen..my baby came! i was oh so relieved to see her..and the way she looked at me..it kinda make me wanna do this over n over again just to see the look in her eyes again..just kidding..i was really happy and like i've said before relieved to have her by my side now..itz like the weight and worry that i was carrying was just cut into half..

I was then transferred to my ward while waiting for the second scan on my skull..this time for the plactic surgery purposes..i was pushed into the lift n all by bed..it was kind of a surreal feeling you know..i watch alot of doctors movie but I would never have dreamt that i would be in this position at this age of my life..so yea..kinda surreal..made me feel like im in one of the Hong Kong TVB drama series..lol..i know i watch too much tv..

The nurses in my ward directed me to change into the patient clothing which was..enourmously huge for my size...sighh..couldnt complain much and went to change..when i was back..i was given a pleasant suprise..a visit from Sher Lyn, Shu Pei, Melody and Aniq! Very very suprised..haha..they kinda made my day..im not much kind of a person who show affections but i was so touched by their presence..very touched indeed..my mum left to take some clean clothes from the house for me..and i started receiving calls from Mou Jian and Chong Yen and messages from friends..they made my day..yes cliche again but they really do!

We talked awhile and not long after that i was asked to go for another scan and the four of them left..so im only together with my baby..went for the CT scan,this time i was more cool n compose..knowing that i would be fine...so far..

We went back up to the ward after the scan and an unexpected visitor came..yes, Chong Yik Sean actaully came to visit me!I was like..WOW..haha..we crapped we talked and he buaya-ed some nurses there along the way..tsk tsk..haha..it was fun though talking to him..very entertaining..haha..

After he left, I still havent saw how i look like yet..how bad is the extent of the damage on my forehead..part of me wanted to go see for myself and another part..was kinda scared to see the outcome of it..so after some thoughts..i went to see myself in the mirror..

I looked normal..just with a sligh bum on my head..but according to the doctor earlier..the dent wouldnt be visible now..perhaps later when the swell goes down and it'll be pretty much visible after that..kept imagining how'd i look like with a dent on my forehead..i shuddered thinking bout it..

All the probs were swept aside when Shin went to buy some food for me to fill my stomach..was really glad she was there till the visitation hours..couldnt have asked for more..thanks alot baby!My parents came back later with clean clothing and other necessities..

Moments after i was left alone..

I'll continue the rest of it on the next post..kinda tiring now and itz by far the longest post i've written..haha..
till the next chapter..
chaozzzz!!

Chapter 25 - Living In Fear

2009-03-27T22:56:00.000-07:00

Im sure that you guys out there watched movies like 28 days, I am Legend and all these zombies movies right? I am now living that kind of live for the past couple of days already..

My youngest bro is now having chicken pox and for my whole 19 years of life i havent been infected by it yet..i do not wish to get infected JUST YET..there is too many things to do now..college gonna open in a week plus and so many activities comin up..so having the lil things popping up my skin is a no no..

Ive been trying to quarentine myself in my own room for the past two days and im paranoid when i feel ithcy in any parts of my body..ugh..the tension is unbearable!itz like..im a ticking time bomb..itz just a matter of time..and injection is a no no for me..i hate injections..sighhh!i need a place to saty for the next 2 to 3 weeks or so..anyone interested to put me up?lol..

anyway..zombie chicken pox aside..tonight from 8.30 -9.30..remember to switch off your light!do the mother nature a favour and give her a break aite!she needs some time out..and keep ur house safe!EPL chose the right time to take an international break..thank goodness =P

done with this chapter..
till the next one..
chaozzzz!!

Chapter 24 - Back from Hibernation!

2009-03-24T23:00:00.000-07:00

Itz been like almost 2 weeks since i last updated my blog..exams, open days, trips and laziness are among the factors why im not typing away at this blank box.

Well..itz been kind of a turbulent period of time for me the past few weeks..been through the stages of anxiousness, joy, hilarious,pek chekness and a companion that seems to follow me everywhere, disappointment.

right, the first thing that i've learnt in this period of time is to CONFIRM everything with your collegemates..i missed my moral exam..due to some so called unforseen circumstances..99% of the reason why i missed it,itz actually down to me but the remaining one is..MAYBE, just MAYBE i feel that im at the wrong college..no offense,though i love my friends there..yes especially you two there..but i still feel that this is not right for me..especially in terms of my language..no im not looking down on anyone or playing up my abilities ( if i have any) but itz just that..im not communicating well with alot of people here..sigh..still itz no reason for me to miss my exam..so i take back what i said bout 99% and change it to 100%! but thank goodness the lecturers are nice there, i still have the chance to right my wrong..one of the salvations i have in my college now..

Next would be bout my open day...i sometimes doubt whether my college is really having an open day or a food fair..theres stall selling foods and drinks (im one of them)..not only that..there are stalls selling cameras, make up accessories and some promotion on body slimming thing!was kinda caught off guard by all these..why didnt they do it last year..hmm..oh well..was kinda fun..learnt how to make chrysanthemum tea..haha..and oh boy..it requires lotz of patience..especially working with van..lol..just kidding..Van can be a really good sales person..she can just walk around n ask (or maybe scare) them to buy the tea..and it works!although on the first day it didnt taste that good..but it was still fun and im glad itz over =) (in a good way)..

After the whole open day fiasco, itz 3 weeks break for me..and what better way to kickstart it then to go down kl the next day with my girl! =) stayed at my sis's place while helping my baby to settle her taiwan application stuff..before i continue..here's some pics

We're in KL baby!

Dying list : brands to buy before i die..
Grannie Karen!

right..i might be arrested for saying this but the government must really be more efficient n be less incompetent when it comes to the small things such as being systematic n efficient coz these small things would add up to big things..the public transportation espeically the ktm is really...really horrendous..tsk tsk..oh well enough bout the bad stuff..putrajaya is really nice..but sadly itz only for the government workers..it seriously looks like a big,advanced technological amusement park..but when you go nearer..man big disappointment man..and and..the taxi there..eat people wan k!i mean literally..bring back the metre system!!another thing bout kl is if you do not have any car u practically cnt survive there..me and my baby learn it the hard way..but it was nice walking around the big cities..i thought penang was big n busy man was i ever so wrong..you have to walk around in kl and u get what i mean..then we had dinner with Grannie Karen at Sunway Pyramid..memories from the KL trip with the PFS gang in 2007 started to ring in..ahh..sweet ol memories..=)

After doing most of the important things we hung out around a few of KL shopping centres..Berjaya Time Square..Pavillion..Mid Valley..too bad we do not have more time to hang around longer..oh well..itz still sweet memories..hehe..and staying in my sis's place for a few days really got me thinking..perhaps i could do my degree down here at KL,staying with my sis...but i have to get pass a very very big obstacle..sighh..oh well..still a year plus left..will think of that later..then there is the road back home to penang..we were sort of forced to go up to a bus..and midway we have to change bus..ish..should have bought tickets from the booth..we slept most of the time in the bus..almost missed the juru station that baby get to go down..lol..

and yesterday..we reached another milestone being together!hehe..9months baby..woots..spent it drinkin starbucks hot chocolate and watch movie in laptop..and not to forget..eating lotz n lotz of belacan chicken =D

moving on..in the past 2 weeks..itz been very exciting for Liverpool Football Club as they beat Real Madrid 4-0 and after that, a 4-1 trashing at the devil's very own backyard!woots!!to mae things even sweeter, they lost to Fulham 2-0 the following game and the Reds army marched on with a 5-0 trashing of Aston Villa the following day..football have never tasted this sweet before..and well..we might not win the title this season but we did the double over the devils this season didnt we??then again..there's still hope in winning the title!!

Captain Fantastic flying high!

now comes the disappointment part..honestly i was quite sad..disappointed by the way u thought of me..perhaps i couldnt blame you because YOU were never in this position before..so please never judge me this way..i treat u sincerely and i thought there were still hope n chance..i've been looking for the window when u closed the door on me..but guess what,im not looking for it anymore..it hurts when i know the truth,i guess i deserved this..once it was important to me who i was in ur eyes..but now..whether im a useless person or a dog in ur eyes..i do not mind anymore as i do not care what u think of me anymore..and btw, u have no right to call me a dog..i will bitch around whenever i like wherever i want..

peace..=)
till the next chapter..
chaozzzz!!!

im awake...i hope!

Chapter 23 - Counting Down The Days

2009-03-14T09:03:00.000-07:00

Do you know how someone feels when they are told that they have only a few months to live?

I Do...

2009-03-03T16:21:00.000-08:00

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY LUCK??!!

WHY CNT I JUST GO TO COLLEGE WITHOUT ANY MISHAPS HAPPENING TO ME!!

UGHHH!!!!!

WHAT DID I DO WRONG THIS TIME???

DAMN IT!

Chapter 22 - Inspiration

2009-03-02T01:49:00.000-08:00

You know whats the latest problem i have in my life right now?other than shortage of cash and being a hell of a procrastinator, i lack inspiration..

Being in the field that im studying in now requires alot of creativity sparks and all of those comes from inspiration..well hey,im finding it freakishly hard to complete this post and im only at the second paragraph..

This prob has been followin me as long as i could've remembered..all through primary to secondary up till now in my college year..oh dang..someone,anyone give some sparks of inspiration to the creativity part in my brain!helppp..!!

ANYWAYS...i went to college this afternoon to hand in my major form or whatever you called that..i stumbled upon a couple of my classmates and they told me tht im the only one who is going to take journalism..and if this goes on,they might not even open a class for me..and that means..i would have to take PR or Broadcasting..in another words..a broader and wider sense of creativity and that would mean that i need more inspiration!oh damn oh damn..and to make things worse..one of the lecturers pronounced my name as Kitisak in front of the whole MassCommunication Society..how great..now im dubbed as the male Hello Kitty..thank goodness i aint there to witness my coronation as Hello Kitty's other half..oh well..im sure my girl would love it..right baby?lol =p

well i guess that's all for now..gotta go back to doin my moral assignments..yes i know sher,u've done it and i havent..
till the next chapter..
chaozzzzz!!

Chapter 21 - He makes guys with painted nails cool..

2009-02-28T02:27:00.000-08:00

For you guys and girls who watch American Idol season 8 MUST be a fan of this guy..

seriously..after last 2 nights performance, he certainly deserves a standing ovation..he is a new type of singer..for me he is a rocker,punk and everything nice in it..okay,i might be over-exaggerating it..but hey, u have u to listen to find out..if u guys thinks he rocks..then welcome to the club..if not..go dig ur ears!lol..he certainly can go a long way...he makes guys who puts on nail polish looks macho..he brings back the cool-ness to the rocker cum emo style..he is serious talent..and he totally stands out in group 2..totally outclassed everyone..ahh..david cook and steven tyler, make way for the new guy!

On another note..i served a group of Japanese guys in Haagen Dazs..lol..nice experience..i like the way they try to speak english..they remind me of him..

YATAAAAAA!!!

the more serious side of him..

yeap..that's right..for those of u who doesnt know him..he is Hiro Nakamura..tht's his character's name in Heroes..real name is Masi Oka...i like especially when those japanese guys said thank you..it sounds like "Thang Kiu"..=D

well i guess that's all for now..
till the next chapter..
chaozzzzzzzz..
and Thang Kiu =p

Chapter 20 -Dilemma no more!

2009-02-24T09:38:00.000-08:00

Itz now 1.40am in the morning..and i cant seem to hit the snooze mood..there are just so many things that are running through my mind..nope,this is not another emo post from me so dont worry,itz safe to read on if u're lookin for a non emo post =)

Well anyway, i've finally made up my mind..that i'll be majoring in journalism!yesss, journalism!honestly, just a couple of hours ago i was still being on the fence regarding this majoring stuff..PR or journalism?then thanks to me being an insomniac lately..i've started to think..ALOT and DEEPLY into this matter and after a very long and thorough considerations on both sides..i've decided to commit myself to journalism..

Reasons why i chose journalism over PR?....i forgot=P(my mind was in a turbulent and chaotic state trying to figure out what to choose)
Well what i do remember is that im pretty encouraged by the fact that i got an A for my news writting (english i got an A-) so this should mean something right?i mean yea..alot of people score for that subject but hey,this doesnt mean that the lecturer is being lenient but the students are very good at it..right?right?...right!..so i've never said it before but im actually quite proud of it..

Secondly, you will not be growing grapes (menganggur) if u're in the field of journalist because if you are, you're either one hell of a useless ass or the world have become too dumb and retarded to know how to read so yea..the percentage for me being unemployed is 1 to 1000 or more..even some research (that lotz of people have been talking about but i dont know what research izzit) shows that journalist is one of the 10 occupations that are not being affected by the economy meltdown..so a tick for me..as im the eldest and i have 2 lil bros to support in the future..job security is a must for me..

Thirdly..im actually not really good at anything..err..yea..im just quite the average or below average kind of guy..even in writting..yea,though i get an A in news writting but then i still feel that itz not really up to the standard that can take me far..why did i choose journalism then?apart from the two reasons stated..another one would be because this is where i know i can still improve..i still have time..atleast one sem to improve on my writting and language,so yea fingers crossed that i'll be able to improve alot before i set out on my training next year...

Next, this would be my ticket out of this country..no, im not saying Malaysia is not a good country..i mean why isnt it not a good country?other than the racial issue,childish politicians, more racial issues, more childish politicians, stupid racist principle of Penang Free School and bad traffic light..being a Malaysian isnt such a bad idea..right?right?...RRRIGHHT!..i just want to live my life to the fullest..explore every part of the world if i could..and being a journalism..the oppurtunities are there..travelling has always been one of my unsung passion..i'll have the chance to fulfill that passion..im not that guy who sits in the office from 8-5..doing the routine work over and over and over again..perhaps that's why im bored out pretty fast working in the mall..and the best thing bout it is "I get to travel around for free" quotes Mr Razeef..one of my lecturers...a funny fella..=D

Another reason is...is that perhaps i get to cover news about sports..badminton,basketball,swimming,football..football..football..football..right, main thing is bout football..lol..so yea..i hope i'll get a chance to be based in England as a sports journalist or something like that..then woohoohoo!every weekend..covering news from the Kop and singing the anthem YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE..ahh...that's a dream..ask every football fan..they'll answer u the same thing..minus the journalist part..that's my part..lol..

To archieve all those..i need to improve on alot of things u see..first on the lisst is my old die hard habit - procrastination- ughh...need to stop procrastinating!
next would be to improve on my language and writting skills..books books books..i need more books!
next would be...ermm..errmm..havent figure it out yet..feeling a lil too sleepy..

i do not know why..i always have ideas to blog and write and think during the middle of the night..odd..really really odd..=.="

oh welll..after all this typing..feeling a lil sleepy..
i guess that's all for now for this chapter..
till the next one..
chaozzzz!!!!!

8 months of being together..
contains the best and worst times in my life..
perhaps that's the reason why i greatly treasure this period being with you..
and hopes that it continues to go on..
much love,
your honey~~~~=D

Chapter 19 - Hungry

2009-02-23T18:39:00.000-08:00

Lately i do not know what is wrong with me..i'm always feeling very hungry no matter how much i've ate..

Even after consuming an extra large bowl of hokkien mee, I still crave for more and more food..and instead of growing fatter, im slimming down...just by eating more food!is this weird or wad?do i have tapeworms in my intestines or do i have a fatal disease??

Im already feeling hungry as Im typing this post..ughh..

okay la,time to go n hunt for food in my fridge!boring post i know..lol..
till the next chapter..
chaozzz!!

Chapter 18 - Clear the air..

2009-02-21T20:32:00.000-08:00

Just to let anyone know and to prevent any further misunderstandings...
the person in chapter 16 is me aite..
no one else but me..
sorry for the misunderstandings..

Chapter 17 - The Fray

2009-02-19T00:39:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since i've uploaded a song here...so here is The Fray -You Found Me..
what i like is the lyrics..so enjoy guys..

I found god
On the corner of first and Amistad
Where the west was all but won
All alone, smoking his last cigarette
I Said where you been, he said ask anything
Where were you?
When everything was falling apart
All my days were spent by the telephone
It never rang
And all I needed was a call
That never came
To the corner of first and Amistad

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Whyd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

In the end everyone ends up alone
Losing her, the only one whos ever known
Who I am, who Im not, who I want to be
No way to know how long she will be next to me

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Whyd you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

Early morning, City breaks
Ive been calling for years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never send me no letters
You got some kind of nerve, taking all I want

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Where were you where were you?

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Whyd you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
why'd you have to wait
to find me, to find me

Chapter 16 - What Happens When You Make The Wrong Move?

2009-02-18T18:12:00.000-08:00

..You'll be down right miserable of course..!

Right, in the last chapter i blogged about Decisions..now, what happens if you made the wrong decision?well actually nothing much is gonna happen other than you being a screw up and telling yourself I-Should-Have-Never-Done-That-Fffing-Thing-In-The-First-Place..
Phew..that was long..

There is this guy i know..i've known him for quite a long time d..though i've known him for a very very long time, he can be very volatile at times, he is quite sensitive towards everything..sometimes i wonder if he was suppose to be born a girl..perhaps the big Guy up there made a mistake..don't get me wrong,he aint a faggot or anything..he is just..very sensitive i guess..

What's wrong with being sensitive you may ask?well..technically there is nothing really bad about being sensitive..i mean you will always always think bout what other people feel before doing or saying anything out or you know..just being a nice kid who doesnt gets on people's nerves and therefore you'll be likeable..BUT if you're being overly sensitive and especially when you have a ever changing moods and emotions..that spells D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R..

Yea, so this dude has this man-period quite often although he is also often the bubbly type of guy too..i've persoanlly observed him and noticed that his mood changes like a chameleon changes according to the environment!one thing bad bout it is..he can't change his moody mood back to the cheery mood as fast as the latter could change to it's former..so this have really brought lotz of problems for him especially when dealing with someone close or someone he adores and loves very much ie family members,girlfriend etc etc..

Recently he has just made a grave mistake.."one of my worst" quotes the lad..well listening to his story, he was really a shit-hole to be honest with you..he made someone he loves mad and i mean real mad..coz of his rashness..and it seems unrepairable..he has his chances and man did he blew it this time..he pushed his luck (and all those negative emotions) too far and end up being burned..i really wished that i have some ways to fix the problem because i could see that he's really repentant..sigh..

So now this friend of mine is actually like waiting for his death sentence..perhaps he just deserves it..
So this is one of the worst case scenario that can happen when you make the wrong move..so people out there..be calm when making choices..in things you do,words u choose to utter out and also your emotions..

i guess tht is all for this chapter..
till the next chapter..
chaozzzzz..

I regret everything i said..
no way to take it all back..
all i can do now is..
apologize,sincerely and hoping..
hoping that you'lll take me back..

Chapter 15 - Decisions

2009-02-17T22:30:00.000-08:00

It's either gonna make me or break me..more often than not, the decisions i made usually break me and up til now, the decisions i made have not reach the life or career threatening so im pretty tensed up by this issue..

PR OR JOURNALISM??

lecturers have advised me to talked to seniors and boy are they ever so wrong..fair enough, the seniors gave me explaination bout the stuff i could do with journalism..and seriously im enticed into going into journalism..the problem is both of these majors are very enticing u see..both have stuff i can really worked on and both have very clear and good job oppurtunities in the future..but one thing im not sure is..in which field i could excel better?of course i would like the glam job where u meet glam people eat glam food drink glam drinks attend glam functions etc etc but life is not always all that glam..another problem is i've suddenly changed into a very passive person, a very not so sociable person..this happening at this time, it sucks u see...

im gonna resigned from my work..yes..imma gonna resign from my work!final decision!hopefully im right...

i guess that's all for this chapter..
till the next one...
chaozzzz!!!!

do not hide from me please..

Chapter 14 - The number 14

2009-02-15T08:08:00.000-08:00

It has been an eternity since i last typed something in this blank space..

Have you ever felt the rush of emotions when u finally saw someone you are dying to see?someone although apart from you for only a month plus feels like a year?yea im over exaggerating but then again if you're in my shoes you might feel the same..who knows?Yea, back...my girl is back!!boy am i glad that she is back...she is back for valentines!=D

Alright, i'm trying not to sound cliche, but this Valentines Day is the best ever i've ever spent with anyone..no itz nothing extravagant or anything and this Valentines made me realised something, that Valentines is just like any other day..because being together with her everyday is like Valentines to me..spending all those ups and downs together for the past 8 monnths..i've been blessed with the best possible present ever!

Knowing me,things will never always go smoothly for a long period of time..yea so i was actually a lil bit mix in emotions and feelings,being a over too sensitive to my girlfriend for the past couple of days..for apparently a small tiny prob..it comes to a point where i made a conclusion and i told sher that, " If you ever have a bf in the future, make sure he is not like me...guys like me are like 2nd to abusers" i was pretty frustrated...and no thanks to the bloody msn who keeps dying on me and my very volatile mum,i was pushed to the extreme..but i had a cardboard to help save me from tearing aprt my room coz....i tore the cardboard =)..

Then i got a call from Rachel...she kinda read through me and pinpointed my prob..it seriously helped me..i mean itz like always been under my nose but i've never ever really realised it before up till this moment..and now..im really hoping that for my babystingray sake and myself i will change...i do not wanna end up in the asylum...so,thanks Super Goose!hehe..

i guess that is all for this chapter..
till the next chapter..
chaozzzzz

i will not let you down..
i solemnly swear..

chapter 13 - At What Cost?

2009-02-05T00:45:00.000-08:00

She's staying....

but at what cost?

i would rather be miserable than her not being able to do what she wants now..

i would actually seriously do that if it will help her...

Chapter 12 - New Month Ahead

2009-01-31T20:28:00.000-08:00

I've not been fulfilling my own personal target by blogging as oftenly as i want to..my writting skills is getting really rusty and same goes to my speaking skills..

Today,a friend of mine just lost his grandfather,my condolences to him..although we're not close but the feeling of losing someone that is close to you is similar to everyone no matter how different is the aspect of it..i know how it feels, although mine in my opinion is few times worse which is living in a constant fear of losing that someone..

I admire those people who could just take it up and let it go whenever and wherever they want..take for example..there is this stranger that i get to know through a relative of mine..he could just jump from one ship to another..when i said ship i mean relationship..i dun admire the way he does it..but i do admire how he could just let everything go, like nothing have ever happened before, like there is no responsibility..not only in this aspect but in others as well..i wonder if he ever feel guilty or anything, itz like he is cold blooded or emotionless..it might sound freaky but i really wanna try feeling it once..being kept numb away from everything..emotions,thoughts and sanity is now making my life quite miserable..yes physically i couldnt compare to those who are suffering from the war torn countries but mentally i think im at the same level as them..they indulge in vengence and hatred wherelse mine, everything (minus vengence and hatred)

But...what are the consequences of me changing to a cold blooded crazy psycho?all the things that i have live for will change..beliefs,principles and maybe even friends and family..i have plenty hanging on that..i couldnt and am not ready to lose any of that now..so now,im back to square one,sitting down here fearing of losing someone important..im always wondering where is the silver lining to all this prob..*you could come out now silver..i need a break*

till the next lame and emo chapter..
chaozzzzzz

*hanging on real tight*

Chapter 11 - The Magic Number 7

2009-01-23T23:21:00.000-08:00

Today is exactly the 7th month we're together; 7 months of hardship,adapting and most importantly being together and in love with you!

I'll let the pics tell the stories..a pic are a worth a thousand words right?hehe..
The first pic u took of me!

I remembered u saying..
"Cant you open your eyes and smile!" lol..

Our first official date together......
in KFC! XD

In BM for the St Anne celebration!
On the way to Jusco BM..haha..

Bon odori!

The interview in E&O hotel =)

Some random pic..=D
Making good use of the webcam in Inti XP

More random pics..haha..
and more...The unsuprised birthday celebration!
baby's 18th birthday..hehe..

The Suprised party!thanks to everyone there!
*especially miss Karen Lim =)*
Suprise!=B
Off the record..this is me and her bro..
this is us waiting for the girls to shop..haha..

and next....

A visit to the Big Apple!
lol...just kidding ler..itz just some where in Malaysia..
anyone can guess it? =D
cozy cozy =p

Our First Prom!
that night we're officially not virgins for prom!

That night..
we danced hand in hand like there was no tomorrow..
it was such a great feeling..
all hail those who created prom and dance..lolz!

During Xmas eve..the last pic we took before she went to taiwan..
but surely it wun be the last..

We're 7 months old together and though there's been highs and really really low lows..we're still together..

James A.Baldwin once said..
" Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up."

and grew i did..
I Love you Ng ShinRui and that's all i need to know =)

till the next chapter..
chaozzzz!

Bless everyone in the world with love!

Ads : Tag by Vanitha

2009-01-19T23:49:00.000-08:00

1. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend or girlfriend smokes?
Yes it does. I hate smokers

2. How about drinking?

I don't mind as long as she isn't an alcoholic

3. Do you like someone you can't have?
Hmm...im not that sure coz i already have her =)

4. If someone like you right now, would you want them to tell you?

well..it depends..

5. What's your favourite sport?

Basketball, Football and badminton

6. It's Saturday night, you're home alone. What do you do?

I'd be on the phone with my baby!

7. Do you like roller coasters?

After last year, of course!

8. When's the perfect time to have a bf/gf?

You can't measure the exact time for it..just like how you can't measure a dream.

9. If you could date any celebrity, who would it be?

Ermm...currently my only celeb is my gf XD

10. What are you doing this weekend?

Working on sat and spending time at home on sun..

11. What's your favourite restaurant?

Anything that serves food that satisfy me..

12. Have you ever hugged someone?

Yeap

13. Ever kissed someone you weren't attracted to?

Nope

14. Do you like anyone right now?

There are no words to describe how is my feelings for her..

15. What is the first thing you noticed about the opposite sex?

Everything

16. Which do you prefer - beach or mountains?

Seaside

17. What kind of phone do you have?

Some Motorola phone

18. Computer or laptop?

Laptop

19. Jeans or sweats?

Jeans

20. Which year has been the best so far?

Year 2008..as cliche as it may sound,it's the best because of her =)

21. How old are you gonna be on your next birthday?

18 + 1

22. What should you be doing right now?

My Malaysia Studies assignment (Vanitha, if i cnt finish i will blmae you =P)

23. What is your favorite TV show?

One Tree Hill (The best!)

24. What's been your last purchase?

Digi reload card

25. Are you attracted to girls/boys that smoke?

Look at number 1

26. Have you ever fallen on your butt in front of a crowd of people?

Let's just say..im a klutz sometimes..

27. What do you do when you're at home?

Laze and dream

28. What is your favourite subject?

English.

29. What is the best thing that ever happened to you?

Having Ng ShinRui in my life, my family and friends..

30. Ten person to tag.

BabyStingray
Cyen
Eiven
Yi-wen

Sher Lyn
Razeen
Chammaine
Siew Mon
Mei Wan
Fragrance

Directions: Once you've been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave a comment "You're tagged!" and you can't tag the person who tagged you.

1.I procrastinate alot
2.I love my Girlfriend alot
3.I am a supporter of Liverpool Football Club
4.I think Alex Ferguson is always punched in the nose by his wife..he has a purple nose
5.I love songs
6.I love writing sometimes..especially when i have some ideas on what to write about
7.I lack creativity
8.I hate politicians
9.I wanna be in PR but im afraid im not cut out to be in that field
10.I would love to travel around the world
11.I want to grow taller
12.I need to start doing my MS assignment
13.I need this Tag to be done quick
14.Read num 13
15.Read num 14
16.I am glad =D

I tag these people because...
BabyStingray-Because i love you!
Cyen -Because you never did my tag before (i think)
Eiven - Because i never tag you before
Yi-wen - Because i spelt your name correctly

Sher Lyn - Because you're my baboon
Razeen - Because you're my lastest addition to my blog =P
Chammaine - Because me and Vanitha couldnt make it earlier to your school..
Siew Mon - Because you criticize that i plurk too much..haha..
Mei Wan - Because you're ah ma and you're old..so need to let you exercise a bit XD
Fragrance - Because you're good at doing tags =D

Chapter 10 - Still Alive

2009-01-17T04:46:00.000-08:00

After one whole week of studying and working..im still pretty much alive..i have not lagged any sleep, i have not been any less concentrated in class..yea,so im doing quite well..much have to be boiled down to the short sem im going through right now..im only gonna take Malaysian Studies and Moral for this sem..and each day..i have like an average of 2 to 3 hours in college,so i pretty much can cope with it..this is much easier than high school..lol..

So right..college just started on monday..and truth to be told,i dun look forward to taking these two subjects..i mean..who wants to learn bout History ever again (scar from SPM) especially politics (totally not a fan of politics..find politicians very pathetic and childish at times) and not to forget..going back to the same concepts of read and memorizing part of moral..just that this time there is more and itz harder...thank goodness for Han Chiang..they chose the right lecturers (except for KCS) to teach these two dreaded subjects..

I especially find Mr Eric to be pretty fun and crazy..his class is well..fun and crazy..lol..he has all this kind of stories which can totally open up your perception on alot of the general things in our life like religion and etc etc..after his class,i really think he can start a cult called, ERICOLOGY..he is the type of person that i will really listen to..whatever teachings he does..it seriously does have a strong sense of logic in it..like when he said, "it's very sad these days that people turn religion in to a business"..that is something very true,but im sure not all of us notice it right?he even did juggling to teach the class..lol..

well i guess that is all for this chapter..
till the next chapter..
chaozzz!

it wasnt alright at first..
but on second thought..
im okay with it!

Chapter 9 - Make or Break

2009-01-15T08:15:00.001-08:00

This year will either make me or break me..if i were to make the predictions on whether i will make or break, i will,based on all the past experiences..go for break me..

Im not being pessimistic..okay well yea im sort of being a pessimistic in a way..but with the looks on how things goees in the past..i always make the wrong choices,not all but mostly..I have to choose which i would wanna major in after this sem of mine..and im still sitting on the fence for either PR or Journalism..many people would jump at the chance of taking PR but sadly if your name is Kiatisak Chua, you would have to think hard..think really really hard cause i actually do not have the most creative minds around you see..and my arts and designs......dun let me start there..on the other hand..im pretty good at news writting..but i seriously do not wanna enter journalism..i duno why..itz just not my thing..im afraid i would not do well in the later stage due to zero percent of interest in it..i need a counsellor for this prob..but who??and i need someone to fund me to further my studies abroad if my college doesnt have any links with any local U..so like i've say..this year pretty much decide what my future gonna be..sighh..

as usual..i start the year with high enthuasism that things will finally turn out great..and as usual as well..early expectations always dissapoint me..things are slowly but surely turning sour in every aspect..it has always been like this for since god knows when..sigh..i know i should count my blessings but each of us do have our own dissastisfaction rite?who doesnt?

i think as i grow every year,my luck pretty much dwindle away with it..just great..and to make things worse..though i never say it out often i've always felt insufficient in lotz of things and in lotz of aspect..brains, trust,confidence,talents..securities..the list just goes on..and all i got is just more negative elements compare to positives one..

im hanging in there everyday wit the little positive left in me..im not gonna sit down n cry..im just gonna drag my ass out of this hole..

till the next chapter..
chaozzzz

Chapter 8 - The things that we do

2009-01-10T22:14:00.000-08:00

We're very "kaypo" bout other people's business..we're more concerned with other country's prob when our very own country is not doing well..tsk tsk..i mean it's alrite and cool that we show our symphaty and compassion and etc etc to those in palestinian..but not to the extreme extend..this will just complicate stuff and it totally doesnt help our country's growth..i mean i totally feel for those in palestinian and itz good that we send some aids there..but not too over..

We,Malaysians have this mindset of looking at the big picture and sweeping all the small and petty problems away..not only politicians but almost everyone i know is like that..take for example..the government wants Malaysia to be a developed country but how can we be one when almost every traffic light for the pedestrian crossing is either vandalized or never been repaired...just yesterday as i was going to work i saw a couple of tourist pondering whether they should cross the road or not when the button for the traffic light is vandalized.. they even used the pen to try press in the thing but itz never gonna work..then they just shake their head in some sort of disbelief way and just use their instinct to cross the heavy traffic road..i mean..is this our way of being a developed country?i felt ashamed..

oh well..this is just a very random rambling..

to a brighter note..I FINALLY GOT THE EMAIL REPLY FROM ME LOVE!!!!
end up i couldnt sleep at all for the whole nite...lol..
next, i'll be waiting for you to come back to Penang!hehe..

till the next chapter..
chaozzzz

Chapter 7 - Ice cream Tips and Wars

2009-01-06T08:00:00.000-08:00

Guess what?
i got tips of a total RM 10 today!well roughly around RM10 ler..well for some of you it might not be alot but hey..where u gonna get RM10 for just being polite and nice?and to top it all..itz weekdays and usually weekday they do not have alot of customers and to get RM10 is good..well..i guess it all boils down to me not wearing specs..seriously, i wore specs for the first few days of work i dun even collect RM10 of tips..but now without specs..i got RM10 in jsut a day!curses specs..lol..oh well..anyway the downside is...i have to give the tips back to the cashier =( haha...

im actually quite scared tht i'll turn into an obese guy(yes laugh sher lyn..laugh)..been eating lotz of ice cream since i worked in Haagen Dazs..take for example today..i've sampled practically every flavour there is in the store..TWICE! and some thrice...not only tht..i've been eating all the cookies and marshmallows tht are lying there waiting for someone to eat em..so i..*nibble nibble* then *munch munch* then *sit, burp* =D
of course i dun take gaji buta..i work also k..hahah..

well..comes a sadder note is the WAR that is happening between the Israelis and Palestinians..its really really sad to see that so many innocent children died because of this war..poor souls..but that doesnt mean other palestinians should run riot in another country thats so far away like france (see how they overturn the cars?)

know what should they do?they should just sit down and have haagen dazs ice cream =) ice cream is a magic tool tht cools people down..especially haagen dazs..so if everyone sits at haagen dazs and eats ice cream all day..we can promote world peace..the worst you can get is brain freeze or tooth decay..itz much better than grenades and machine guns right?

im a good promoter, no?=P

till the next chapter..
chaozzzz!!

Chapter 6 - Condolences

2009-01-05T10:48:00.000-08:00

All my heart goes out to John Trovolta and his family whose son, Jett Trovolta just passed away recently..This song is specially dedicated to John's family..

Life's too short..appreciate and love it..

Chapter 5 -Day 5 into New Year

2009-01-04T11:14:00.000-08:00

...im still stuck halfway with my new year resolution list.

Call it a product of procrastination but hey, old habits die hard right..?and the worst part is that I don't see it changing anytime this year 2009. If it does then it's a miracle and well, miracle don't chance upon me very often.

I'm actually still pretty stuck up in year 2008, I don't know why I just couldn't really let go of it yet. Perhaps..just perhaps it's incomplete..my year is just incomplete without having you around me.

I was having a random chat with one of my close friend, G.Well,G suddenly asked me this question, "ever wonder if X and SR are the right choice for us?". All i thought of was the problem we had before she left but not what if...what if one day the big guy up there decides to take your loved one away from you?or maybe he/she is too good for you?It struck a chord in my head and the thought is still running through my head,keeping me awake till now. Am i good enough for her? Will i find another girl like her again?

How ones loyalty and feelings waver to another so easily really amuse me sometimes..especially when it comes to the relationship part.I mean what is the use of being together when you are out chasing other girls at the same time?(generally,not towards anyone). I know you are not tied down or anything but where is the sincerity and say-it-like-you-mean-it when you say I Love You?I don't mean that im a perfect example of boyfriend because I am not but one thing for sure when I am in a relationship her,feelings or loyalty have not wavered..and it's not because itz for the sake of the relationship but I just mean it. I do not enjoy playing with anyone feelings and see them sad. In another word, I am not a sadistic.

It's been 12 days since she went away and i miss her every second. Yea i know 12 days are short but to me it feels like eternity. Cliche you might say?Not unless if you're in love.But days do come and nights do past..im doing my very best to channel everything into doing something else and wait for her till she comes back.

Keep myself busy.
That's what i gotta do..

It's been awhile since i let my fingers run through the keyboard with my mind saying out every single stuff im saying now without having any second thoughts on it and it might sound very cheesy to almost all of you..i gotta get it out somehow..

oh well..i guess i should use this advantage to finish my other half of resolutions..late is better than never..

till the next chapter..
chaozzzzzzz..

one more thing..the answer is no.
i WON'T be able to find another girl like you anymore,Ng Shin Rui..
i love you!

Chapter 4 - Work

2009-01-02T23:09:00.000-08:00

I started work at Haagen Daz yesterday and boy..did it started bad..i lost the freaking cap!thanks to chong yen who keeps playing with it..hahah..thank goodness for the supervisor..she has like extra i think..whatever izzit..im really lucky that nothing bad happened on the first day..

Yi-wen was right..it is not easy working there..lotz of things to do..dun think it looks small and you have less job to do...looks can be deceiving..really deceiving..haha..oh well..this wasnt the bad part..the bad or should i say the worst part bout all tht is i can only see and serve the ice cream!=( lol..hopefully i'll get used to it soon before i started turning berserk and start eating all the ice cream and fondue and and.....okay im just crapping crap here...

anyway..there was this couple who ordered fondue..and i guess the girl was upset with the guy or something like tht..so right, they ordered the fondue and i served them..and for the next freaking 20 mins,they didnt even touch the freaking fondue!!wtsweetheck man!the ice cream balls which can be easily worth rm20!and thank goodness..sanity struck the guy so he just slowly eat up..we workers sort of serve and watch at the same time..and the girl started to eat and thank goodness it did not go to waste..rm63.80 man..

nothing much happened ler..saw lotz of ppl but they dun really recognise me in the cap..haha..oh well..it was an eventful first day at work at the service line..haha..

apart from that i guess nothing much happened ler..unless you want me to blog bout how much i miss my girlfriend..
i guess not..XD

so till the next chapter..
chaozzzz!!

Chapter 3 - So close

2008-12-31T00:04:00.000-08:00

We're so close
to reaching that famous happy end
and almost believing this was not pretend
let's go on dreaming for we know we are
So close..
and still so far..

Quoted it from the song 'so close' by Jon McLaughin..itz a nice song by the way..well it is sort true in many ways that we are so close and yet so far..in my case atleast..in this year 2008 i actually do not see myself involving in a relationship after having a bad break up the year before..and i must say..this must be the best thing that happen to me the whole year round..though we celebrate new year thousand of miles apart but like the lyrics says 'let's go on dreaming for we know we are..so close and still so far'..far apart we might be but emotionally we're together,connected under one sky..
Cheesy?perhaps..but itz true =)

On a brigther note..
had a great time last night out with friends watching The Beverlly Hills Chi hua hua and having supper..eventhough i have a slight fever..imagine a group of 'macho' guys watching it..lol..itz actually not bad..and i got a list of names if i happen to have a dog in the future..fifi,foofoo,pookie,squirt,papi...list goes on..lol..

2009 is just around the corner..
my own personal prediction for year 2009 :

i'll be rich
i'll finally get the hairstyle i want
i'll have the best time in college
Me and my girl will go strong for another year=)
Liverpool winning the EPL
due to the fact above, Joe Jin will be buying me a set of mcd(or something else..)

and the list goes on..dont wanna bore you out with my predictions..and where is the fun in that,knowing the what will happen in the future?lol..
so..

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!
HAVE A GREAT 2009!!!

til the next chapter..
chaozzzzzzz!!

Chapter 2

2008-12-28T06:08:00.000-08:00

Itz been 3 days..but it felt like 3 weeks..
it is gonna be a long month ahead of me..but thank goodness i found a job to keep my mind occupied..yeap..i got a job, or sort of..itz 90% still not confirmed but most probably i'll get it =)..

Im gonna work at Haagen Daz in Queensbay..haha..gonna be close to all the expensive ice cream..so can say itz like a good choice?lol..surely itz much better than the Hush Puppies in Queensbay..sucky boss..

well i broke the news to my parents and they seem happy bout it that im gonna work..well im glad myself too..one i can help ease the burden of my parents, second and the main objective why im actually working is to keep myself from sulking at home..so it's sort of a good deal for me, don't you think?

yea the biggest prob i could face is juggling time between work and my studies..but i guess i could cope with that..i have to..i need cash and a place that i wont sulk the day off..

Chinese New year is just like a month away..need to buy a couple of new clothes..this year wun be spending so much on new years clothes due to the credit crunch..so only a max of two shirts im gonna buy!..so i need a fashion guru to go with me..and who else but my dear goose, Rachel Yong Sue Jenn (dont say i didnt mention your name here=p)

so anyway i told my mum that im gonna buy some clothes..and it totally went astray from the topic..

Me :mum,gonna go out with rachel to buy some new year clothes...
Mum :harh..gf gone a few days go n find another girlfriend d??
Me :No..of course not..we're just very close friends tht is all..
Me : so i go out with her to buy my clothes k??
Mum :is she cyen's gf?
Me : 0.0 no..why u say so??
Mum :no ler..the other night 3 of u went out so...
Me :no la..go out only merr...
Mum :Why isnt she ur gf?she dont want you issit?
Me :*smacks head* =.=

okay might be lame but i find tht a lil funny myself..before this i even thought of talking to my mum bout all the sulky feelings i've been feeling..but after this..no way...

so went ahead with the plan of shopping for new year clothes with rac..end up buying a couple of shirts at half price..wad a catch..guess itz beneficial coming out to shop with girls..lol..thanks rachel for accompanying me..

well..i've actually been feeling better..though the wait is long and hard..but im not sulking that much anymore like i used to..i have been trying to fill myself up with things to do..like finish up the New Moon and playing FM the whole day..i mean it does help the mood you know..im missing my baby girl like mad..but im not feeling any sulkiness or the feeling of emoness..just missing her every second..full stop..and im glad im feeling this way and i really hope it will last...i just wish tht the day she step foot on the island will be soon..

well i guess thts it for now..
till the next chapter..
chaozzzzz!!!

Chapter 1

2008-12-25T20:30:00.000-08:00

I've been actually dreading for this day to come seriously..i know i know Christmas is the time for joy and happy moments..yea i agree..but this year i shall skip the joy and happy moments..

First thing i heard on Christmas morning is the squealing of a puppy..perhaps it got knocked by a car..it was squealing in the middle of the road for almost 10 minutes..thank goodness for an old couple who picked the puppy up and put it at the sidewalk..but that is all they do..

an eerie silent suddenly took over the whole place after the puppy gave a last sound of squeal..the usual sound of the bird chirpping or wind gushing by werent there..just an eerie silent..i thought to myself..
"how great..what a way to start Christmas"

Why i dread for this day, you may ask?
My baby is leaving for a month plus to Taiwan..

I wasnt exactly proud of myself for the past few weeks building up to this day..i was sort of being very..controlling and pushy and of course a big fat jerk..perhaps it is the fact that she might be leaving again a few days after she touched down in Penang on Feb..or perhaps im just very controlling and pushy and a big fat jerk..i seriously i do not hope that i am that kind of person..

I reached the airport after having my late breakfast..while i was driving there i guess i have been doing alot of thinking because the journey to the airport seemed so short..itz like my subconscious mind took over me and i've become sort of like an autopilot while my thoughts flew to some other land..

I walked into the airport, taking a small step each time i walk..wishing and hoping that i wont bid goodbye so soon yet..

When I finally reached her,she was in her organization clothes..we couldnt even really have a time to talk at first coz she was busy with something let alone a hug..but i did get a peck from her secretly as she is under a strict rule i guess where there is no intimate moments allowed when she is wearing her..uniform..

I didnt know wad took over me that very moment when i saw my baby so excited..i was sort of let down by it..because i thought she wasnt excited to go to this trip..so i was sort of being a jerk when she talked to me..thank goodness..i realised it earlier before things got out of hand..see,i told you im a big fat jerk sometimes right?

the time to part ways have come..the biggest regret for the day is i couldnt give her a goodbye hug or something..as she walked into the check point to the plane..i received a forwarded message bout Christmas..about how is it that is not all about the taking but giving..

well, this Christmas, i sort of gave away a huge chunk of my heart..coz my baby took it with her when she board the plane..

After watching her board the plane i went to Cyen's place just to hang out..just wanna get my mind of it..we hanged around till late evening with jjin and my two lil bros and not to forget cyen's big crazy bro..lol..

well i guess that's it for now..
till the next chapter..
chaozzzzzzz!!

P.S:
Baby im sorry for what i've been lately..
if you're readin this im sorry k..
and i miss u every moment
of the day..

Not even a word of sorry

2008-12-19T20:57:00.000-08:00

*click*

my whole laptop shuts down with everything still on..things being downloaded and etc..
guess wad he said?

sorry?

not a chance..

know wad he said?i'll tell you wad he said..

"how can i know?you didnt tell me"

right..my laptop charger is black in colour and your wire is a freaking SILVER colour..how can u not differentiate that??and to say that i didnt tell you..how can i tell u when u suddenly come from behind and just switch off the plug?i have spidey senses izzit?

look..im not mad coz i've lost wad i did the whole morning but im mad coz u did not even bother to mutter a word of SORRY but instead u can say two hurtful sentences..call me sensitive but thts wad i am..

have you ever said sorry?pfft..not tht i remember..
guess wad?you just made my day..

P.s: thought i was luckier..
but i guess im not much different compare to u..

Im Back To Blogging..with a much shorter hair

2008-12-17T08:57:00.000-08:00

Itz been like wad?a week since i last blogged?but it sure feels like itz been ages..there's just so much to update in this one week and im in a midst of where to start..

alritey..letz start with..

11th of Dec..
minus the emo blog i posted before this..it was actually one of our dear friend Teh Wen Ping's birthday..yea so we went to celebrate his birthday at a bbq steamboat restaurant with the gang..honestly speaking..i did not know tht it was his birthday so im really really sorry Wen Ping (if u're reading this)..yea back to the topic..i was the first to arrive and i booked the place..while waiting i saw a group of men in their 50s or 60s..they were bbq and just chatting away happily..there were actually 8 of them..few mins later they left and coincidently my friends came..and total us up together?it's 8 of us..i thought to myself.."can we be just like them in 40 years time?" man i sure hope we do..though the chances are slim but..i have a good feeling about it..=)

12th of Dec
Well tonight is the night me and me love of my life been waiting for..PROM..well not exactly prom but itz sort of like prom..it was actually my girl's Alumni Night..it was quite a rocky start to the day..had few problems but with her around me..however big the problem is,in the end it'll be solved..perhaps tht is why i just cnt live beside u baby!XP well..i'll just post some photos up..

Couplessss

Im glad we can take this photo..erm..im not so glad i took this photo XD
oh well..she really has a nice voice =)

Us..

Our Prom..

I might be considered as crashing a prom..but it doesnt matter to me as long as my girl is by my side..not trying to get all musheee but like i've said before..if she's around..ntg seems to matter that much anymore..we're the prom virgins so this is our first prom..and dancing together at the end of the prom is just the icing on the cake on a wonderful evening..

13th of Dec

The guys are planning to cook the underground chicken again..and this time we bought two..went to chong yen's house to wash the chicken..and first time i was the chicken....
letz just say itz not a really pleasant experience..
BUTTT..
mine is just the appetizer..someone had to penetrate the chicken with sausages and balls and cheese something something sauce..lol..pics available at Chongyen's blog..hehe..it was nice..eat and chat and do some crazy stunts till 12 something..another great day out with friends..hehe..

Well..i guess tht is all i can type for now..need to sleep..i have socio exam tomolo..and itz freaking 2.30am now..didnt really studied..great...anywayyyzzzz...one tree hill really rocks man..should go watch...!!lol..

till the next post..chaozzzzz~~

sometimes things may not be great..
or things may seem not right at place..
but bear this in mind..
im loving every moment of it..
because every moment of it is spent with you..
whether itz for good or for worse..
and that is all that matters to me..being together with you..

2008-12-11T07:25:00.000-08:00

Why are not thinkin bout yourself and also the people around you..instead u're thinkin of that person at a distant place..

why do u risk our welfare just to provide tht sum of money for that person every month although you know now times are hard..but i still do not understand..

is that person alone so important compare to us?

you told me itz emergency and please do not let me find out itz otherwise..
please do not let me find out that you're doing it out of guilt..

i know you love us but sending that sum of money away on the pretext its an emergency without any proof is just not good enough reason for me...

u might be telling the truth..but the jury's verdict is almost certain that you are not..
im just hoping that the jury is wrong bout you..

I Won't Disagree by Kate Voegele

2008-11-29T07:02:00.001-08:00

fell in love with this song immediately...so try listening to it=)

2008-11-29T06:25:00.000-08:00

1 3fel onl3ly..........

some tricky stuff for u to solve

2008-11-27T05:10:00.000-08:00

When i thought things couldnt get any worse it did..

when i thought we were free to be...

when i thought dictatorship was a distant thing..

when i thought being misjudged is just a petty thing..

when i thought good things will last longer..

when i thought i could be in for a good time..

when i thought i was right bout stuff..

I WAS WRONG!

It's Over by Jesse Mccartney

2008-11-27T04:55:00.000-08:00

been awhile since i posted up a video..this is nice..should listen to it!

To My Beloved Girl..

2008-11-21T04:15:00.000-08:00

..Happy Birthday!!

okay okay..i know this post is late by a couple of days..but then again itz better late than never rite?u'll forgive me right baby =D

Anyways..i planned to celebrate with the birthday girl the whole day..so went there like in the afternoon..and guess wad?i drove WAJA!woohooo!yea..sort of my first time driving Waja out of penang and my second time driving it..lol..

So went to BM to find me girl and we head to Jusco in BM to eat Japanese Ramen..and i must be living in some other world..i didnt know that Ramen looks like Maggie Mee 0.0 but obviously it taste better than maggie mee lerr..hahah..

Ironically i ordered rice in a ramen's shop =.=

itz damn worth it somemore..we were really full..overloaded..can barely walk...BUT..some temptations are just so hard to resist..we end up whistling our way to...

Yeap..tht's B.A.D
Big Apple Donuts...
Bad for full stomach...lol

My personal fav..peanut butter thingy..hahathis is one of babystringray's fav..plain donut =.= haha

If this crazy eating spree isnt enough..we went straight to starbucks for some ice blended chocolate chip..lol..There u goo..birthday girl enjoyin her drink..hehe..

so after the crazy eating spree we went to pacific with some extra weight on..haha...

pacific is more like Penang's version of Bukit Jambul cum Prangin Mall..lotz of cheap stuff to buy and most importantly..lotz of close shops and also itz dirty..lol..so just jalan jalan there then after that went back to penang..

Went straight to BBQ steamboat restaurant in Nagore Road to meet up with the guys..didnt eat there..was full..really full coz laugh too much d..hahah..

so i guess tht is all for this post..there is still a continuation for this blog..lol..till then..

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY NG SHINRUI!!

Love Ya always and forever~~

I stole this from Easaw due to boredom..

2008-11-13T07:27:00.000-08:00

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your blog).

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___.I think I realized it when ___2______3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.___12___.

Loves;-Your name-

P/S: You are so lifeless, ___13___, -The name of the person that tagged you-.

1. What's the color of your shirt?

Blue - Our romance is over

Red - Our affair is over

White - I'll join the monastery

Black - I dislike you

Green - Our horoscope doesn't match

Grey - You're a pervert

Yellow - I'm selling myself

Pink - Your nostrils are insulting

Brown - The mafia wants you

No shirt - You're a loser

Other - I'm in love with your sister

2.Which is your birth month?

January - That night

February - Last year

March - When your dwarf bit me

April - When I tripped on sesame seeds

May - First of May

June - When you put cuffs on me

July - When I threw up

August - When I saw the shrunken head

September - When we skinny dipped

October - When I quoted Santa

November - When your dog ran amok

December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?

Tacos - In your apartment

Pizza - In your camping car

Pasta - Outside of Chicago

Hamburgers - Under the bus

Salad - As you ate enchilada

Chicken - In your closet

Kebab - With Paris Hilton

Fish - In women's clothing

Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation

Lasagna - At the mental hospital

Hot dog - Under a state of trance

None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?

Yellow - Hit on

Red - Insult

Black - Ignore

Blue - Knock out

Purple - Pour syrup on

White - Carve your initials into

Grey - Pull the clothes off

Brown - Put leeches on

Orange - Castrate

Pink - Pull the toupee off

Barefoot - Sit on

Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?

Black - My best friend

White - My father

Grey - Bill Clinton

Brown - My fart balloon

Purple - My mustard souffle

Red - Donald Duck

Blue - My avocado plant

Yellow - My pen pal in Ghana

Orange - My Kid Rock-collection

Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper

None - My John F. Kennedy-statue

Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?

Scrubs - Man

O.C. - Emotional

One Tree Hill - Open

Heroes - Frostbitten

Lost - Scarred

Simpsons - Cowardly

The news - Mongolic

American Idol - Masochistic

Family Guy - Senile

Top Model - Middle-class

None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?

Happy - How awful I've felt

Sad - How boring you are

Bored - That Santa doesn't exist

Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage

Depressed - That we're cousins

Excited - That there is no solution to this

Nervous - The middle-east

Worried - That your Honda sucks

Apathetic - That I did a sex-change

Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster

Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men

Overjoyed - That I'm open

Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?

White - Your ring

Yellow - Your love letters

Red - Your Darth Vader

Black - Your tame stone

Blue - The couch cushions

Green - The pictures from LA

Orange - Your false teeth

Brown - Your contact book

Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs

Purple - Your old lottery coupons

Pink - The cut toenails

Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?

A/B - Your photo

C/D - The oil stocks

E/F - Your neighbour Martin

G/H - My virginity

I/J - The results of your blood-sample

K/L - Your left ear

M/N - Your suicide note

O/P - My common sense

Q/R - Your mom

S/T - Your collection of butterflies

U/V - Your criminal record

W/X - David's tricot outfits

Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?

A/B - Always will remember

C/D - Never will forget

E/F - Always wanted to break

G/H - Never openly mocked

I/J - Always have felt dirty before

K/L - Will tell the authorities about

M/N - Told in my confession today about

O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about

Q/R - Told my psychiatrist abou

tS/T - Get sick when I think of

U/V - Always will try to forget

W/X - Am better off without

Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?

Water- Our friendship

Beer - Senility

Soft drink - A new life as a clone

Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo

Milk - The apartment building

Wine - Cocaine abuse

Cider - A passionate interest for mice

Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations

Mineral water - Embarrassing rash

Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism

Whisky - To ruin the second world war

Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?

Thailand - Warm regards

USA - Best regards

England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail

Spain - Go and drown yourself

China - Disgusting regards

Germany - With ease

Japan - Go burn

Greece - Your everlasting enemy

Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard

Egypt - Fuck off now

France - In pain

Other - Greetings to your freaky family

13. What is your favorite activities when hanging out with mates?

Gathering for drinks - Ugly pig

Foosball - Silly duck

Shopping - French kisser

Dulging for food - Cranky banana

Movies - Smelly armpits

Snacks - Horny wolf

Snooker - Tiny nipples

Bowling - Sexy grandmother

Outdoor activities - Vain pot

Having a long talk - Nose plucker

Taking pictures - Dumb bitch

Other - Burn yourself

The Results :

Dear Chong Yen.

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your sister .I think I realized it when First of May At the mental hospital and I saw you Sit on My avocado plant . I'm sure you're Open enough to understand That Santa doesn't exist . I'm returning to you, but I'll keep Your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I Always will remember Eggplant-fetishism.Good luck on your short-term leave from jail.

Loves; Kia

P/S: You are so lifeless, Vain pot, Chong Yen

2008-11-12T05:35:00.001-08:00

Hey You!
You Up There!!
havent you played me enough already???
am i not in a bad enough state already??!
why must u continue doing this?cnt u just leave me alone n go find someone else to prank?
like wad chong yen said,life is a bitch...hell seems like a better place than here right now...

15 Facts Bout Me

2008-11-10T06:43:00.000-08:00

Rules

1.Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.

2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.

3. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.

4. No tags back!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Im a Gemini
Having said that..i am quite the emotional,sentimental type..
I believe in karma and fate.
I think now the big guy up there loves picking and playing around with me...
I used to be an optimistic person..
I just realised...everyone leaves...
One Tree Hill sort of made me more mature
I look good wearing formal *Thanks Vanitha..LOL!*
I don't do drugs, smoke or clubs..
I like driving my parent's new Waja
I really do not like the state that I am in now..
I can be sort of a hypocrite sometimes..
I noticed that there are plenty of "I"s in this tag..
My english are getting worse after i started college..
I hate this tag...

Tags:

Babystingray
Yiwen
Sherlyn
Mae Yin
Vanitha

Circumstances suck..

2008-10-29T08:07:00.000-07:00

Right..like i've said..circumstances suck..i mean..circumstances destroys everything!from relationships to work to etc etc etc......okay maybe i might be exaggerating but then again..think about it..what destroys friendship or relationship?jealousy?misunderstanding?u might be right but it all boils down to a word called circumstances..we have choices in life..most of the time we will indirectly make them without us even noticing it..jealousy could be an example..if u could choose would u choose to be jealous?i guess not right?if u said yes then i guess u wanna be a big green monster...yea so get my point?

and i really suspect that i am cursed...i could have a great time the whole day...a really great time...and before the day ends..something bad will happen to me and bring all my happiness down on the double..im trying my best here not to be a pessismistic..but trust me im wearing thin down to my end point..im suppose to blog bout something nice and fun today but i guess my taste have been ruined now..great...

this sucks to the max..!!
and to think that things couldnt get any worse..
im sick now...
wtf is wrong with my luck??
wadz next?
see some supernatural beings???

2008-10-16T08:24:00.001-07:00

this doesnt feel right at all.....
not at all....
sighh...

My first 4 points...

2008-10-16T08:09:00.000-07:00

just got back from my first competitive basketball game...and i manage to get four points!and also manage to get a block..not bad d kay for a first timer..i know itz ntg much of an archievement yet..but will surely improve on tht...YI-WEN just u watch!hahha..

had a pleasant suprise..my girl actually went!and her finals is like the next day...
so i was really happy she came...was glad actually..
she might be behind the 4 points tht i earn..
hahah...

so yea...first competitve basketball match n we lost badly..but we will bounce back!

haha..

guess tht's it...
till the next post...choazz....

2008-10-11T23:53:00.000-07:00

Rain rain rain rain......

as i was looking out the window..i saw birds...trying their very best to fight against the rain droplets..and yet sometimes they make it look so effortless..how do they do that?i don't remember learning bout birds flying against the force of the rain...so how do they do it????????

okay....im just bored....
my heads like gonna explode...
doing all the basics news value stuff...arghhh!!
help me!!

Im Sorry =(

2008-10-11T23:14:00.001-07:00

To a friend name Lee Yi Wen ..

im very sorry i did not mentioned your name..
it just slipped out of my mind a moment there...
i promise that this won't happen again..
dun angry yea..
=P =P
hehe..
peace!

2008-10-11T20:14:00.000-07:00

Free Handbag

girls..these is your chance to grab a free handbag in a once in a lifetime oppurtunity!
so get going and click on the link!
no scam or anything..
im just doing this on my girl's order =.=
lol..

2008-10-11T06:08:00.000-07:00

Okay..for the first time after so long in college (or was it the second time?) i've been freaking busy!!oh man........time is like so valueable..even if i have 9 days in a week,it wun suffice for me..assignments..competition..and many more..haha..

so anyway..guess who i met yesterday in INTI? *went there to accompany my baby studying and do my assignments and eat lotz and lotz of junk food..*

i met.......

HANNAH TAN!!!...

Yeap yeap..met her and talked to her and was just a few feet away from her..well..though i wasnt really drooling over her *but lun xiang did..he even got tongue tied! lol* she still do have some celebrity status so i was like..wow for a moment there...actually we're not suppose to take her pic wan..must sign up for some stuff only can take pic with her..hehe..baby took this pic without anyone noticing her (can be a future paparazi d)..poor lun xiang..u should see his face when he couldnt take any pic with her...haha..anyway..post-hannah tan session..all went back to normal when kevin came down and there goes the fuss bout hannah tan again..lol..after the craze me and me girl went some where to study in inti..really do have good facilities..more high tech than han chiang..(i still love you han chiang..i think =p) then we hang around there till like 6 something 7..went for dinner then sent her back to the hostel..tht is pretty much bout everything on tht day..

before i end the day..i thought back what my socio lecturer miss ooi taught us..and i ask myself..how cruel can this world be???now..everytime i walk out from the socio class..the way i see the world change..cultural shock and violence that is happening behind the closed door..honestly im still shaken from the effects of the class..itz a mind nimbling experience or whatever u call it..

anyways!

today i fetched me girl and jyee to register for their ielts (did i spelt it wrongly?) exam in pulau tikus...so after registering and all went to gurney a lil while for the korean fair and for some lunch..well it was a much smaller scale than i expected..bought a few packets of korean noodles there..can eat it instantly or can cook it..up to you..how cool is that??lol...they had some performances by a dance group called b boy...at first i thought it would be nice as korean are good at dancing...but i forgot a point...they're good at dancing but they are better at break dancing...so yea..95% of their dance is break dancing..so much for my excitement..i don't really like a full scale break dancing performance..dance here n there still the same wan..booooorrrrriiinnnggggg!

so we went for lunch at a taiwanese restaurant in gurney..very nice environment...food is so so and for the first time i drank pearly milk tea and i love it! =D here are some pics...

nice light

retarded me and blur jyee =D

the food that both of the ladies ate..
this is what i ate..

and last but not least..

us =)

so after we leaved and went back to her hostel and going to accompany her to study somewhere around her college..hehe..suprisingly we met with joel and jon toh and wen ping and marcus with their classmates i assume..doing some projects assignments...i was happily watching What Happens In Vegas..very very funny..should watch it!so sent her back and i went home..then i came to me girl's hostel study room and accompany her to study while im doing this blog..well am sort of guilty for not doing any work today..tonight must pia till like crazy d..argghhhh...but itz all worth it as i can spend some time with her..hehe...

well i guess tht's all for now...
till the next post...
chaozzzzzzzzz~~~

ulcers are killing me...
experts says kissing can heal ulcers...
izzit true???
only one way to find out..lol XD

2008-10-05T00:34:00.000-07:00

You know...whenever i start blogging i really hate this part..the beginning part..it's perhaps im really bad at starting things up..figuring what ways and how to start talking about something..eventhough i have alot to say..but whenever i come to this early part..im always stuck..sometimes i take around half an hour to figure out bout what to write..or sometimes i just wouldnt bother to write it out at all..it's like..im not warmed up bout the first part..

same goes to the other few aspects of my daily life..i do not like to start from the bottom when u're working..i do not like having the first group discussions when we need to do assignments..and etc etc...but heck we always have to go through this phase..i can tell u that i am NOT enjoyin this front period of the post..perhaps my vocab n stuff is not really that good yet or grammar or whatever u call it..im just not enjoyin this..u know wad?im in the mood to type out some craps and nonsense and some funny thoughts thats running through my head right now..no im not being emo or anything (usually people associate this behaviour as emo-ness) but im not..im just...errmmm..bored?yea..bored..even i have loads of assignments to do..but im bored..

i realised i've changed in the past few weeks..there's good and there's bad as well..the good part is..im being happier and more content with my life now..my love life to be exact..i wasnt exactly thinking straight then..being sad and all..i was sort of going back to my old self..the high school self..the ones with the not-so-matured-thinkin kind of guy..thinking that if i stay depressed and all..i will get what i want..but i was wrong..and lucky to have a wake up call..now looking back..i compare my oldself to a 7 year old kid i used to remember..a 7 year old kid who couldnt get what he wants and whine till he gets what he wants..honestly,i was sort of disguested..i was disgusted with my attitude,with my thinking and selfishness then..thank goodness i realised what was wrong..i realised..

being down and depressed is not a way to solve things..
mean every word u said..every promises u made..
if you love that person..let them do what they want to do..even if it means not being together..

i do not wanna sound like the same old love-blogger-kind-of-guy but..never say i love you unless u mean it..dont say it out of obligation but say it if u mean it..coz when u say it when u mean it..u'll have a very nice feeling..u'll know..

now for the not so good news is that i have not been a very good friend to my closest girl-friend..yes..i know im sorry i've been ignoring u n all..due to all the circumstances in life..but trust me..if i could make it up to u in the future..i would..if u're reading this my friend..i know u wouldnt wanna get ur hopes up high...i understand..but dun lose hope in us..being close friends for most of high school years is something special for me..i've lost one very close friend and i dun intend to lose another..

life's so far been treating me well and not well..but come to think of it..i've been blessed..though i do not have the riches of david beckham or donald trump..but i have a blessed family(although sometimes they are not that bless=p)..someone i love..friends..i have what some people can only dream of..im sure most of u all out there have all these..a note to my troubled friend..count ur blessings man..i do not know how to say this but u have a whole new wonderful thing that is going on around you..time to let go n start living a life..u're only 18 once so enjoy it..

so tht is all for my random bla blas today..
till the next post..
choazzzzzzzzzz~~

Keep me in your heart
and go see the world..
once you're done
come back to me..
i'll be here waiting for you

2008-10-01T08:55:00.000-07:00

Itz the first day of Raya!!...not it means anything to me..other than me getting an extra day off from college..hehe..was suppose to go n have a game of football in PFS..but i went late a lil bit..yes a lil bit only coz my laptop came early in the morning...imagine the guy looking at me like i've just came out of a hungover the night before..so anyways...am really happy and glad that i've finally got the laptop...

BBBUUUTTT!

My laptop came with a small-cutie pinky colour mouse...
i asked the guy "....why pink??"
and he answered.."sorry la..i was in the rush..i thought it was red so i picked it.."

=.=

so anyway..after all the fuss bout my new laptop i head out to play football..ahhh..wad a great day for football i thought...and i was never so wrong..once i reached there and got down the field..my first touch of the ball was the most painful one i had since god knows when..Joe Jin kicked the ball straight up at my..well..two balls..so yea..itz a case "When Ball Meets the Balls"..and itz at a freaking point blank range!!so yea..the field was wet..and im the latest one who arrived there and yet im the wettest and dirtiest there coz i have to roll down on the floor and cry and cry for pain..and guess wad?

IT DOESNT STOP THERE!!

The bloody football still havent got enough of meeting my poor meat balls..yea so i got hit again..and as usual..i rolled down again..and there are more laughters..there i go..getting dirtier...not only tht..i've been hit on my tummy..kneed on my head...fall and land on my ass and well the list goes on...so in conclusion..today isnt a really good day for playing football..haha..

alrighty..i guess tht is all for my post now..gotta go prepare for lotz of assignments stuff d...busssyyyyy!!!
till the next post..
chaozzzzz!!

I MISS YOU!!

Morning..

2008-09-27T06:49:00.000-07:00

What a morning it was..very enjoyable..and i must say itz the first time i had such a crazy dim sum outing..lol..

Went to had dim sum with Eng Siang,Eng Siang's friend that goes by the name of J.Qin,my dear grandma Karen and my baby..we went to a place near my apartment..since baby overnighted at my place the night before we walked there together..and we reached early..the place was hell packed!

anyway..after awhile..Eng Siang and the rest arrive and that is when all the fun started..Eng Siang is the target of teases and sarcasm from karen and my baby and unfortunately..Jqin as well..they were teasing him..shooting him..u name it they've done it!as for me..i have very good free live comedy..and karen even made Eng Siang's ball..without any ball with the leftover food!..i guess u might not know wad im talking bout..but oh well..im still gonna post the pic up anyway...
See those things there?yeap..that is eng siang's balless ball..XD

off the record..
itz been a wonderful way to spend the morning..im sure and hope that there will be many more to come!=)

alright..so till the next post..
chaozzzzzzzz..

Just some random thoughts..

2008-09-26T09:16:00.000-07:00

I've been wallowing in self-pity at late..abusing myself for something that has not happen and might not even happen..i've been beating up myself for this since the start of this week...

But for wad reason?

for nothing..things that i should have known better that it will never happen..perhaps my friends are right...why worry when things haven't even happen yet?...you know,we humans are sometimes weird..we tend to worry bout stuff that might not even happen..i must say..human minds are one of the deadliest weapon..to others and also onto ourselves...our mind or our so called instinct will make us think that something bad or horrible will happen..though sometimes those instincts are true..but most of the time..itz all in our minds..

i once asked my two friends in college who are having long distance relationships with their partners,one whom are already in a 2 year relationship and another a year..so...i asked them...

Kia : how do u guys stay in a long distance relationship for so long?

Both friends: trust...that simple..

so yea..trust is wadz lacking in most people nowadays..and same goes to me as well..atleast untill tonight i hope..as some of u may know tht im lamenting bout my baby's stay in penang..i've been thinkin of this stuff...bout wad i will do..wad will happen..why isnt my gf being sad bout it?and etc etc..until tonight..i finally got a wake up call why she aint feeling all of this depressing stuff that is running through my head..no itz not because she doesnt like me anymore..but itz coz she believes in me and trust me..it struck me deep down..and i asked myself...

Why didnt i think of this before??

i was drowned in the world of sorrowness and i totally left my rationality out on the shore...now im back up and ITZ NOT OVER..
instead...

i sense now it's a beginning of something new..something good..
soo...
u peepz out there..trust ur partner..or even your close friend..or whoever he or she may be..althought sometimes things might not turn out what they seems to be.but have faith..because with faith..it will take u far..

and to you my baby..
i will always remember wad u say..
will love you always and forever!!=)

I've been tagged..by Mae Yin

2008-09-24T09:14:00.000-07:00

1] Real name: Kiatisak Chua

[02] Nickname: VegeKia, Kia, Kasitaik

[03] Married: nope..

[04] Zodiac Sign: Gemini

[05] Gender: The one with the banana

[06] Age: 18

[07] High School: S.M.K Penang Free School

[08] College:Han Chiang College

[09] Height: letz see...179cm..

[10] Weight: 65kg

[11] Do you like yourself: yes

12] Piercings:i love my body..the only holes i need is my nose holes,ear holes and asshole..

[13] Right or left:right,left and center

[14] Are you a freak : sometimes i guess i am..

[15] Hair:ermm..curly i guess..

[16] Skin: natural

[17] Allergic: none i think

[18] What are you doing now: listening to songs

[19] What will you doing 1hour later: hopefully i'll be able to sleep..

[20] What will you doing 10 years later:hopefully i am still alive by then..

FAMILY

[21] Live with mother/father/parents: parents

[22] Siblings(included you): 4

[23] Eldest: errr..can say itz me ler..

[24] Youngest: my youngest bro la..

[25] Love/hate your family:love and sometimes hate em..

THE LOVE

[26] You found your another half: yes..

[27] If yes, who is he/she: babystingray~

[28] If no, who you want he/she to be: no one else =)

[29] Time(s) you in relationship: 4

[30] Ever woo boy/girl(0-100000):wow..i've..lost count..haha

[31] Anyone woo you before(0-100000): aiseh..lost count also..hahah..just kdding..dunno..

[32] Did anything wrong to your other half: i guess so..

[33] What was/were the wrong you had done: this tag could either ruin a relationship or fix em..

[34] Ever argue with your other half: nope!=)

[35] You with your other half since: June 24th 2008!

[36] Are you straight/gay:straight and gay..lol..

[37] Reasons you love your other half: i love her because i love her..full stop

[38] You and your other half in which stage: for me to know and for u to find out

[39] You woo he/she or he/she woo you: we wooed each other..lol..i wooed her..haha

[40] Ever think of marry he/she: yes..

THE FRIENDS

[41] Your first best friend: Lee Joe Jin

[42] Your first enemy: Hate

[43] The friend you love the most(1only): list are too long..

[44] The enemy you hate the most(1only): Loneliness..

[45] Your most beautiful girl friend: Ng ShinRui!lol

[46] Your most handsome boy friend: Teo Mou Jian!

[47] The kind of girl you hate the most: wannabes...

[48] The kind of boy you hate the most: me

[49] You fall in love with your close friend before: yes..once..

[50] Your best friend is your ex-lover:not that i know..haha

[51] If your friend backstabbed you: forgive and forget...

[52] If your friend betray you: number 51

[53] If your friend woo your lover: if she is happier with him..i'll let her go..

[54] If your friend fall in love with you: wow..speechless..

[55] If you fall in love with your best friend: not at all..u know right??hahha

[68] Good looking people: every living people on earth..

[69] Ugly people: not that i remember

[70] Funny people: damn alot...

[71] Cute people: si pek che

[72] Bad people: wanna know?rob a bank and they'll send u to a place where u will find em..

[73] Honest people:wanna know..jump off the building and pray tht u go to heaven..

[74] Acting people: Hollywoods..Bollywoods..and other woods la..

[75] What kind of person are you: im a boy and believe it or not..i feel that my last life i was a girl..lol..

THE PREFERENCE

[76] Lip or eyes: eyes

[77] Hugs or kisses:..can i go for both?

[78] Shorter or taller: taller

[79] hesitant or spontaneous: spontaneuous

[80] Nice stomach or nice arms: errr...both

[81] Listener or talker: both

[82] Romantic or rich: Romantic

[83] Good wife/husband or good mother/father:both..

THE FUTURE

[84] Age to get married:when i get rich..

[85] Numbers of kid(s):form a football team..minimum basketball..

[86] Career:Vj,host,air steward..billionaire

[87] Salary:unlimited resource?

[88] Retirement age: as soon as possible..

[89] Properties value: zilch..

[90] Wishes: Good Luck!

THE VICTIMS
Anyone who reads this!

2008-09-21T05:27:00.000-07:00

You know wad i just realise?
i just realised tht im a hypocrite..
yes a big fat one!
so for those who have seen that in me before i realised it..
u're a keen observer..or perhaps im just to blind to realised it myself..
oh great..now im a hypocrite..
.........
.....
...
..
.

Damn it!

What peanut butter do to your dreams..

2008-09-20T22:03:00.000-07:00

Have you guys ever ate peanut butter before going to bed..and the result of that have a very vivid dream?..i've had it..infact..itz a funny and sort of scary dream..since im bored here might as well i blog bout it...so right..i had peanut butter..yes..only peanut butter..no bread no biscuits..just pure peanut butter before i went to bed last night..and man..i didnt expect to be taken for a ride in my dream..

do u all know bout the cartoon character Ben10?the kid who stumble upon a funny alien devices that can change him into 10 alien heroes..yea..that cartoon..and well..i sort of dreamt bout that..lol..i dreamt that i have that funny devices stuck on my wrist..so yea..itz sort of cool(in the dream) that i can transfer myself into 10 alien heroes..that is the funny part..the spooky part is..i've started to take a prt time job in some hypermarket (i have no idea why) and apparently the manager is a..ermm..ghost alien..right..and in it's human form..the aghost alien is actually my college's librarian @.@ like wth??i even remembered saying "arent u my college's librarian??" and she started chasing me around..so i guess that means i have to stay away from my college's library...and man i duno why.it was just pure scary..haha...thank god i woke up not long after the chase..yea..so tht concludes the drama of my funny n spooky dreams..lol..lame i know..but i thought i should get this out..the moral of this dream is...never eat peanut butter and sleep..unless u wanna have an adreanaline rush when u sleep..haha..

on another note..i have just realise the word FUCK is actually a blessing!and the blessing is from the King himself..well..atleast that was the case in perhaps..the time of King Arthur?according to the coolest lecturer i've ever had..Miss Ooi..FUCK stands for Fortification Under the Consent of the King..it's some sort of like a marriage certificate for people in the old centuries..and according to my lecturer..when they wanna..well..continue the production of human beings..they will put the sign 'FUCK' outside the house..itz some sort like telling your neighbourhood.."hey guys..do not disturb please..im fucking" lol..imagine if people still practise this in the world now..i wonder how many homemade porn dvd's will be produced..lol..so anyways..now we know that FUCK is actually a blessing word instead of an insulting one...

FUCK YOU people!=)

Till the next post..
chaozzzz!

Itz really frustrating at times..

Baking Time!

2008-09-19T01:33:00.001-07:00

Itz wednesday and itz holiday!well not for all..only for Pakatan Rakyat states..boohoo for BN states..so bless this lovely wednesday..hehe..since itz a holiday..babystingray came over to my place the whole day..our agenda today was to bake the deliciously scrumptious cake tht we had planned to do it for the past week..hehe..so she came over early in the morning..and she studied and i did my stuff which is playing around in the house with my bros and disturbing her..i know..itz childish..ahaha..anyway..somewhere around the evening we head to Batu Lanchang market to buy the ingredients we need for the cake..so after tht we head to Queensbay to sign up for the Penang Bridge run...signed up for the fun walk only..dun think can get anytin by joining the real run..sure will end up somewhere in the back...sooo signed up for the fun run...interested anyone?haha..

after having dinner both of us got down to business..baking the cake!as usual..i was the assistant and me baby is the main baker..haha..after much hussle we finally completed the cake...and it smells really good!haha..due to the long period of time we took for the cake to bake..me baby spend a night at my place...and like wad Kevin said in his blog...we.....SLEPT..seriously tired after all the baking here n there...hehe..i'll end this post with some of the pics i took...enjoy!hehe..

The cook hard at work...

The cake before it enters the microwave..

.
.
.

After a few hours..
Tada~~
The Christmas Chocolate Cake..

Here is the baker..
poor baby..she looks real tired..
hehe

Updates!

2008-09-19T01:33:00.000-07:00

15/9

Finally i have the chance to update my blog..haha..so anyway..today we celebrated Chong Jye Yee's 17th birthday!actually it's not yet her exact birthday..itz the nxt day actually..hehe..so my dear babystingray planned tht we have lunch in seoul garden..so around 16 people turned up for the lunch..and we sort of ruled the whole seoul garden..making noises like nobody's business..well..tht is wad u get when u mix 16 teenagrs with an all u can eat meal..lol..since it was Jyee's birthday itz our obligation to play her..yea..i'll let the pic speak for itself..

Feeding time~

Food...or jyee's lips?of coz jyee's lips la =p

after crashing seoul garden..we went our separate ways..so me n my babystingray walked around aimlessly and end up in library..we actually took pics instead of looking at books there..lol..

Me girl and meMe girl says "hmmm.."I say "hmmmhmmm"Me girl says "eyerrrr"

i go =(then we both go "hmph!"

there goes our pic story...in the end we called peace n made out..lol..just kidding...hahah..so after the spending an hour or so in gurney..we went to sungai dua to have ice kacang..well..tht is bout all for 15/9!hehe..

Next stop:Baking time!

WaaaChhaaaa!

2008-09-12T07:59:00.000-07:00

These past few days have been a whirlwind ride for me..emotionally,mentally and physically..i have to deal with alot of stuff in such a short space of time and man i tell u..itz mind boggling(Whatever it means)..but itz not all downhill actually..i now have a new sanctuary to relax which is Stadium Han Chiang!have been training with the college basketball team to compete in an inter college game in the month of October..and now i understand how it feels to do suicide..itz really..like going for suicide..lol..anyway..other than basketball i obviously have my girl that i can fall back to..so thanks baby!=)

Well yesterday i was out with shinrui for supper in subaidah..
we ate alot..and i mean alot..Thosai bawang..Roti telur..Naan Butter..fuyoh..gila full man..so after the whole supper we were walking back to my car then suddenly...

"P***MAK KEO**K**!!"

Apparently a fight broke out..and it happened super near my car..i was like wtfg!WHY MY CAR???there is this two older men in their 40s ..beating up a young chap in perhaps in his 20s..the two older guys were using a strap(ouch) and a helmet(double ouch)..and oh ya not to forget..there is a woman as well..so as far as i observed..this young man had slapped this woman and this two older man who is the woman's relative respond to the man's action..well here is wad i heard ler from their shouting..

Old man 1:P*** !lu pak wa eh soon!!lu ka pak wa eh soon!!!*beats using helmet* (you hit my granddaughter!u dare hit my granddaughter!!)

Old man 2: KNN LU! *beats with straps*(...i duno how to translate into english but u all know la..)

Young man: Kau liao la kau liao la!!uo su ban ban kong!mai pak liao la!!*running away from the assault*(enough enough!!got things slowly talk!dun hit me!)

woman suddenly runs out..

Woman: Lu pak wa...LU PAK WA!!*Slap the guy like a machine gun*(u hit me..U HIT ME!!!)

Old man 1 and 2:*continue beating with helemt n straps*

Outsider:Kao liao Kao liao!Tan Che eh pak si ei!!(enuf enuf!later beat him till die!)

the young man then suddenly run away from the area i parked my car and knocked down a motorbike!man..he was scrambling away from the two mad old man and also the woman..lol...funny...then me n shinrui straight away went into the car and drove off...amazingly..the whole thing happened around my car area n there is no scratch on my car..thank god!lol..
itz really like watching a drama..man..live action..wished i could take some videos n pic..but i dun wanna end up like the young man..man..i wonder how many broken bones he had..lol...

alrite..till the next post..chaoz!!!

2008-09-06T09:19:00.000-07:00

the time is 12.20am..
and i feeling a lil emo..
sighhh...

Gloomy day

2008-09-06T03:14:00.000-07:00

Today is so gloomy..as in literally gloomy..itz been raining sine in the morning till now d..really saves electricity..no need to switch on the fan and all..lol..

The night before my mood was sort of gloomy..had an arguement with my mum..wait..no itz not really an arguement..i just kept quiet and just let her shoot me eventhough im not in the wrong..itz like..i duno..i really stunt by what my mum said till im really speechless..so to prevent any unwanted words coming out frm my mouth of mine..i just keep quiet n retreated to my sanctuary which is my room for comfort and solace..seriously ruined my happy day..

Before all this i went out with babystingray and karen..walk walk then watch the luckiest guy..itz a so so movie with lotz of moliu-ness but overall itz better than BabylonAD..after tht went to walked around queensbay and ended up in Swensen's for round 1 of dinner..after Swensen we went to Subaidah near my place for round 2 of dinner..me and babystingray had tosai bawang..im seriously getting addicted to it d..seriously very nice..u all should try it...and karen had some udang ball..haha..then we went home straight after dinner and it was suppose to be a good day for me..it just got ruined by tht sudden burst of anger from my mum..sigh...sometimes i really feel like studyin outside u know..as in staying in hostel and all..day by day..i dun feel relax at home anymore..i can only find comfort alone at home or when im in my room..itz like whenever i go back i have to be prepare for something bad to happen to me..yea i know some of u might said i must be thinking too much or not appreciating etc etc but one has to be in my shoes to know how does it feel..sighh...

Things has been goin good for me..friends..school..love..but not how i feel bout when im at home..i feel so trapped..siggghhh...mind u im not being emo or anytin but then..it doesnt feel right to be here u know..atleast for now it is not..

hopefully this sort of feelings will just go away soon..
till the next post..
chaoozzzzz

Like Only A Woman Can by Brian McFadden

2008-09-02T08:42:00.000-07:00

This song is specially dedicated to my baby..itz a beautiful song..so baby..and to u peepz out there..enjoy this song!=)

Me and You Always..=)

50 is the number..

2008-09-01T07:55:00.000-07:00

I just realised that this is my 50th post!well..itz not like im gonna write a special post just for this..but something good did happen since the last post..well..all i can say is things has been goin better than before..although itz not really all good..but itz still better..this cement on wad i think bout "be patient..bad things will go,good things will be flowing back in"

well..what are the good stuff u may ask?all i can say itz perhaps a start of something new..it might be too early to say but i guess things will get better if i put effort and time into it...haha..im just glad i got it off my shoulder and now i can keep moving forward...

though not really everything that had happened in the past couple of days has been good..like for example..Liverpool drew in the match against Aston Villa..and some other stuff...perhaps this shows that not everyone can have only good stuff going for them and not the bad to share...

i guess thats all for my ramblings for now..
off the record..whenever i started this blog stuff..it really replaces my wall..atleast i dun have to stare at the wall and talk to them..it feels so much nicer writing down all my thoughts here..lol..so Happy 50th post blog!haha =D
till next post...chaozzzz~~

Hey you out there...
yes you..
cheer up..things will get better soon..

i promise u..trust ur vege=)

Little Wonders by Rob Thomas

2008-08-31T00:40:00.000-07:00

I knew this song exist long time ago..but didnt really listened to it till today when i watched Meet The Robinsons..for those who havent watched it or anytin yet..go watch it!itz really nice! and the lyrics r pretty meaningful..so enjoy it =)..

Happenings of late

2008-08-30T01:19:00.000-07:00

Well well well...im back to blogging again...

itz funny u know how it feels sometimes u're trap in ur own world..and with so many events happening,u thought u've been in there for a very long time..but itz only beeen a day..i've been having that kind of feeling now..and i have no idea why..sometimes i would just let my mind drift away for a moment..even when im riding the bike!imagine tht..ughh..wadz getting into me??but oh well..so far the probs i've had has started to clear up slowly and i hope itz goin to go on a constant pace..but then again..a wise man once said "what do you get once u solve a problem?...a BIGGER problem"..couldnt agree more with that..

alrite..on a higher note..yesterday was probably the best time i had in college after almost 6 months in college..i really managed to gel in with other classmates though we're not tht close but itz better..yea..so i had this class called sociology..yea..it sounds boring doesnt it?think again..the teacher is really a cool teacher with an american tone..i guess..or was it british?oh well..it doesnt matter..all in all..she is like a very open minded teacher and all..so there is this ice breaking sessions in the class..we're suppose to write 5 statements bout ourselves and she'll pick 20 random students to come out n tell out the facts..well..as we boys did make some noise(though i made the least) she had to call out my name and say we're making lotz of noise..i was like..wow!for the first time after 6 months,finally a teacher said i was being noisy in class..i was...ELATED!lol...hahah..so we went to intro n bla bla bla...some people told some funny stuff bout themselves and it was a great time in her class..couldnt wait for it...haha..

after class i went out to meet my babystingray..poor her..she is sick..but tht doesnt stop her frm watching Money No Enough 2..haha..well..i have to say..singapore's production of movie is on the rise..so tht sort of sums up wad i think bout the movie...Malaysia should learn from the neighbouring countries and start getting themselves some recognition in the international stage for some other stuff other than squash and badminton..i mean come on la...the government can have the so called cluster school for their so called cluster students like for example my old school Penang Free School..this school is a once famous school..but now..itz all withered down to nothing..once they have installed a new principal after Mr Arabi Sulaiman, well..the school since have been on the road to the has-been land...especially with the latest principal now..sighh..alrite..better not say more..or not i'll be emotionally drawn to this and things could be ugly..Penang Free School have left me more scare compare to sweet memories..the only sweet memories i had there was with friends..yea..so good riddance...

after the movie babystingray stopped by my house and had dinner and supper..she had to stay over coz she was really sick n yea my mum bought "khor teh" for her which she eventually gobbled it down with hardship..lol..nothing much happen which brings me to the news that MU lost to Zenit in the European Super Cup..well..what else can i say?Expected..and to think Paul Scholes would wanna be like Maradona with his Hands Of Gods goal..he might be..but sadly..itz not his time..perhaps he will be like Maradona..post-football career..being fat and having lotz of health probs..lol...

alrite..i guess that is all for now..
so till the next post..chaozzzzz!